US chess master denies using wireless 'anal beads' to win game.
For all of the scandals that have rocked the world of elite chess in recent years, rumors that a 19-year-old grandmaster used anal beads and artificial intelligence to beat the world's top player might be the most bizarre.
Speculation has grown online that San Francisco-born Hans Niemann, a relative newcomer to the sport, inserted wireless vibrating anal beads into his body before his victorious match against World No. 1 grandmaster Magnus Carlsen, 31, last week.
Chess fans have speculated that an accomplice watching the match at the Sinquefield Cup in St. Louis used a chess program to determine the perfect move, and then sent encoded instructions via the vibrating sex toy.
Niemann has vehemently denied cheating on this occasion, but critics note that his Elo rating, which gauges the strength of chess players, shot to 2701 after his victory over Carlsen, up from just 2484 in January 2021.
Cheating in chess is rare, but can be achieved by hiding computers in shoes or jackets that signal outcomes predicting the game and giving the player an advantage over their adversary.
With the explosion of chess computer programs and devices like cell phones and Bluetooth, tournament officials have had to navigate a minefield of challenges in detecting cheaters in recent years.
At the top levels of competition, players are now routinely scanned with metal detectors before playing in tournaments.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11211325/Did-chess-grandmaster-use-anal-beads-beat-world-No-1-Magnus-Carlsen-Bizarre-rumour-sweeps-sport.html
Let the jokes commence. 
= new reply since forum marked as read
Also gives me an idea ... maybe someone smarter than me can help me write code for work without the boss knowing?
What brand were those beads?
Hey, you said you wanted jokes ...
Feels like a planted story to sell product?
Insert your metaphors here?
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