Everything I ever needed to know, I learned from Star Trek:

[lastlib]

Everything I ever needed to know, I learned from Star Trek:

--People who don’t look or act like you aren’t necessarily bad. Even the Klingons have redeeming qualities.

--Deflector shields aren’t enough; sometimes you have to negotiate.

--If you don’t go where no man has gone before, you’ll never know what’s out there.

--Everyone has a role in life. Do your own job, and the ship will function smoothly.

--Stay away from black holes and other things that could suck you in and not let go.

--Opportunities, like Romulans, have cloaking devices; if you don’t keep your scanners tuned for them, they’ll sneak right by you.

--If you can keep your head in a crisis, you’ve got a fighting chance.

--Even with warp drive, you can’t run away from your problems; you might as well lock in phasers and face them.

--End every episode with a smile.

With this intergalactic wisdom at heart, you will be prepared to seek out all the strange life forms and alien civilizations we encounter every day.

. .

[JVS]

1. Don't wear a red shirt on your first day.

[Baitball Blogger]

3. Prime Directive.

[bluedigger]

2. Always tell your boss it will take twice as long to fix a problem as you think you will need.

[WolverineDG]

7. good one!!! nt

[Gidney N Cloyd]

4. When you're out of ideas, use the escape pod and blow up the ship.

[pinboy3niner]

5. If someone offers you a Tribble...

...whatever you do, DON'T TAKE IT (AND DON'T BRING IT HOME WITH YOU)!!!

[csziggy]

9. Don't feed it after midnight?

Oh wait, that's a different critter.



No - wait. A critter is a DIFFERENT thing!



Oh, hell. The thing is a really different alien.



Oh, never mind.

[pinboy3niner]

11. Nice collection, lol!

Also watch out for the ones that just keep growing, and growing, and growing...




...and the ones that rat you out...

[Denninmi]

6. If you eat the Klingon delicacy gagh,

Better drown it in a lot of wasabi as if it were sashimi.

[MrScorpio]

8. Things I Learned While Watching Star Trek

- Never, ever let Jim Kirk near a computer... He'll fuck it up just by talking to it.

- A simple bowl of Vulcan Plomeek Soup can be very aerodynamic in the right hands

- Make sure to write your own fight theme music before you ever enter into one-on-one combat



- Wearing a red tunic puts your career advancement in severe jeopardy

- In space, no one ever does the dishes

- Never expect it when you bounce down on them from the nearest wall



- Never ask a doctor to be a mechanic, moon-shuttle conductor, a bricklayer or a walking ice ice cream cone.

- Never get buddy-buddy in front of the Klingons.

- Edith Keeler must die

- When in doubt, set phasers to stunning!

[edbermac]

10. Nobody goes to the bathroom in the future.

5 TV series, a dozen movies, and not a crapper in sight.

[Orrex]

12. That's the dumbest complaint I've ever heard, and it always annoys me.

Obviously the uniforms feature opaque, retractable forcefield butt-flaps, while the chairs have incorporated receptacles.

Kind of a bummer for whoever's running the transporters, but everyone else can let fly right where they sit without even leaving their post.

[bluedigger]

13. The transporter operators have their own methods of dealing with it.

They are also great practical jokers and generally shunned by the rest of the crew.