Things your parents accused you of that were not true. When I was in my early 20s

[applegrove]

Last edited Tue Jan 10, 2012, 03:20 PM - Edit history (1)

we removed an old wall to wall carpet from my bedroom. There was a white dust all over the floor when we lifted up the carpet. My dad said "ARE YOU DEALING COCAINE?". I was quiet and liked to hang out with close friends only. I worked, sometimes two jobs at a time. My parents thought there was something wrong with me because I was not out there dating up a storm ...plus they were really critical. I hardly ever did drugs in my life.

[PassingFair]

1. True story....when I was 20, I moved into a house with my brother...

we had two cats. One day, I went out and bought some catnip, and the cats
tore the bag apart. I put the catnip in a baggie and stuffed it into a drawer
in the dining room.

My mother, the world's greatest SNOOP, came over and under the guise of
"looking for her tupperware", opened the drawer, took out the baggie and
nonchalantly said "You kids sure keep a lot of WEED around the house."

She was trying to be so cool and bust us at the same time.....

We still laugh about that one.

[SCantiGOP]

32. we have a baggie of catnip that came with a scratching post

I swear it would get you taken to the police station and booked. Looks exactly like it.

[Joe Shlabotnik]

2. When I was in grade 9-10 my parents constantly acused me of smoking cigarettes and pot,

So I called their bluff, and became a total pot-head for the next 4 years, and then just stopped when I was 18. The cigarettes.... well I'm still smoking them.

[Charlemagne]

3. Dealing drugs

My mom is a nurse and my dad was on like 445959584 forms of medication. So we had a bunch of those empty script bottles around the house. When I was little I used to use the empty ones as "ooze" containers when I would play ninja turtles. So the ended up in my old toy chest.

Fast forward 10 years and Im in high school. My mom cleans out my old toy chest and finds the empty bottles (that are 11-12 years old). The natural conclusion is to think that I am stealing pills and selling them at school. She called a secret meeting with my principal to ask if there was a drug problem. She then told him that if there was, I was the likely source.

She later confronted me about it. She said she believed it was true because I "have all that money laying around." I told her I had the money because I had a job at a grocery store.... ugh.

My mother also believed I was gay. Remember how people would say "that's so gay" when they didnt like something? Well my mom went into my store (the very grocery store that apparently was a front for the drug ring). When checking out she asked the bagger (a little younger than me) if he knew me. He said, "yeah that dude is gay." My mother thought he meant that I was a homosexual. So, of course, my mother called up secret meetings with my friends and my sisters friends to see if I was gay.

Ahhh mothers.

[zipplewrath]

4. They thought I was a tad slow

When I announced I was going to go to engineering school, they seriously asked me if I thought I could hack it. It's tough when your older sibilings are all Merit Scholars and you "only" get a 1370 on your SAT.

[mysuzuki2]

5. No, I pretty much did all the things my parents accused me of

Plus a whole bunch of shit they never found out about.

[cliffordu]

6. Me too.....

[UnrepentantLiberal]

9. My parents were afraid to ask.

I was wasn't timid when it came to vice. (Never addicted to anything though.)

[Kali]

22. !

[rufus dog]

23. Other than getting interogated about a pill on the floor

I would have the same experience.

Turns out the pill was speed my brother dropped in my room. When I called him out he said, "I hope Mom took it, that was some good shit."

[geardaddy]

7. Just about everything.

When I was little it was usually some pot or vase or something was broken and my older sister or brother did it. I was so nervous when my mom started looking at me suspiciously that I couldn't stop laughing. So, she thought I broke the damn thing.

[bigwillq]

8. Dropping a Jolly Rancher

onto the carpet in the family room. The candy then was crushed and ground into the carpet. It was very difficult to remove. I didn't do it. Not sure who did but I know I didn't because it was watermelon flavored and I don't like watermelon flavored candies.

[bikebloke]

10. Using drugs

My father decided a pimple on my arm was an injection mark. I've never even taken a puff off a joint. At the time, his precious daughter was dealing drugs out the front door and he looked the other way.

[ohiosmith]

11. Skipping Sunday School to go to my friend's house to smoke and look at his dad's Playboys.

Oh, wait. I did that. Never mind!

[wyldwolf]

12. Having sex with an older woman

I was friends (really, just friends) with a woman 10 years older than me (I was 18, she was 28.) My mother just KNEW something was going on. Once I was wearing shorts and my mom noticed a few bruises on my legs. THAT was her confirmation!

[FloridaJudy]

13. Having gonnorrhea

When what I really had was appendicitis. Actually, that theory came from another family member who was clinically insane, but my parents did ask the doctor if it could have been true. I was fifteen years old, and had never even been out on a date!

[quakerboy]

14. I can think of two

Generally, I had done everything I was accused of and more that was never discovered.

1)Becoming addicted to a painkiller. Specifically Tylenol. Not tylenol3 or anything, just OTC Tylenol. Acetaminophen, since we weren't the kinda people to buy brand name anything...

2) Doing some unknown thing to pester my sister. But I know it was not me. I was off at college, and had been for several months at the time. I had not been home to visit, nor even called home in well over a month. But I still got yelled at when my sister yelped. I maintain that this was representative of my entire childhood. I will cop to playing the annoying brother at times, but if anyone should have been protected it was me. That one has sharp boney elbows, I tell ya.

There was a third, maybe. I am genuinely not sure if I was guilty or not. I actually remember both doing and not doing the thing I was punished for.

[MiddleFingerMom]

15. Two GREAT ones -- and both from MiddleFingerMomMom.

.
.
.
When I was in highschool, she found my rolling machine, paper tubes w/filters and tobacco
and confronted me... demanding to know how long I had been smoking marijuana.
.
I didn't start THAT until after highschool.
.
Honest. No, REALLY!!!
.
She was so relieved that it wasn't dope that she didn't give me any grief about smoking
cigarettes.
.

.
.
.
.
.
When living in Pennsylvania and going to college, I moved frequently -- sometimes each
semester if I found a cheaper/better/more convenient place. I got a PO Box for continuity
of mail delivery AND... I had no use for a phone.
.
MiddleFingerMomTim told me she eventually asked him (in hushed tones), "He keeps moving
and he's hard to get ahold of -- do you think he's on the lam?"
.
.
.
MiddleFingerMomTim, when he told me, could not keep from laughing as he said, "She
actually said "on the lam"!!!!"
.
.
.

.
.
.

[dana_b]

16. lol - i'm sorry but

"Are you dealing cocaine?" ?! I hope that you can laugh at that now.

My parents were pretty good about trusting me - even though i didn't deserve it.

[applegrove]

19. Oh I laughed about it with friends at the time.

[shanti]

17. i loved to burn incense

as a teen, and dad used to think i was "smoking dope" and covering up the smell with the incense, which was the furthest thing from my mind. in fact, i was quite naive and never even knew what cannabis was until i left home after graduation.

[LynneSin]

18. My mother swore I did drugs

Never did them, didn't even smoke dope. Yet my brother did his stint of drugs in college and yet she thought he never did any.

I guess I know who she favored in this family

[Curmudgeoness]

20. My parents went out of town, and my little sister

had a huge party at the house----the liquor cabinet was broken into, someone kicked in and broke the bathroom door, the cops were called. And I was the one who was accused of having this party. (Of course, she was the angel and I was the "bad" one, so why not.)

[HeiressofBickworth]

21. When I was in high school

I wanted to do a paper for my psychology class on the differences between children based on birth order. My mother found out and was convinced that I was having sex (I wasn't) and that I thought I was pregnant (hardly!). As much as I tried to convince her otherwise, she remained firm in that belief. She still thought so and brought it up when I was in my late 50's. The real reason I wanted to research that particular subject? I wanted to see if I could figure out why my mother was so much harder on me (the first-born) than on my brother or sister who were younger. My conclusion: she was bat-shit crazy and remained so the remainder of her life.

[SCantiGOP]

33. concerning birth order

My brother was five years older than me and did nothing but party in college, eventually dropping out in his third year (he was barely a second semester sophmore) even though that meant the Army and Viet Nam. My parents had been really rough on him, and admitted to me later that they made a conscious decision to give me more leeway in high school so I wouldn't go crazy when I got into college. Don't know if it worked - I was pretty wild in those days (early 70s) but at least I stayed in school and graduated after they ended the draft.

[hunter]

24. Accusations had zero currency in our family.

There was too much crazy in our family for accusations to float.

It didn't help that one of my grandma's was insane. Her accusations were so gravely presented and utterly absurd they made any and every accusation sound absurd.

This attitude has gotten everyone in our family in trouble at times. Our first reaction to any accusation is to smirk and stifle giggles. Teachers, cops, judges... you can see how that goes. We laugh at the Voice of Authority if it's contrary to our own reality. Unfortunately some of our realities are, um, a little wide of the norm.

I can remember only one accusation by my parents that I was a little miffed by -- that was when my dad accused me of making a particular hole in my bedroom wall, a room I shared with siblings. Of course I'd made quite a few holes in the walls, but this hole was made by a mouse. I'd listened to the damned creature inside the wall chewing and chewing every night. Finally it got through, making the passage into the house it wanted.

I insisted to my dad that I hadn't made this hole in the wall. As kids we were required to patch any holes we made in the wall, a skill that served me well later as a handyman for student housing. I told him about the mouse, and I wanted him to inspect the hole and see the little mouse teeth marks. But he was having none of it; I had to patch the hole. But the perversity of the accusation had zero effect on my psyche. I patched the hole. Shortly after one of the cats got that mouse, which would sometimes scamper across my bed at night, and left part of it there on the bed as an offering.

In middle school I had a teacher who'd sternly lecture misbehaving students out in the hallway. My usual response to these sorts of encounters was to run away, especially if the lecture was dragging on. This teacher's tone in particular reminded me of my grandma, so I couldn't stop smirking. He could tell I was about to run away so he grabbed my arm. Nevertheless I twisted free and made my escape... which is why I spent quite a bit of time in the school office, quietly doing my schoolwork, watching flies on the window, whatever... They'd rarely call my mom when I got in trouble because they were scared of her.

[Neoma]

25. My brother stole a flashlight from our neighbors house.

Then steadily put the blame on me. My parents pushed me into hysterics...

[retread]

26. When I was about 16 my parents quit accusing me. They did NOT want to know. They gave up accusing

and stuck to posting bail and appearing at court when asked.

[trof]

29. Duzy.

[Enrique]

27. not only did they think you were a drug dealer

you were a messy one, spilling it all over the room.

[applegrove]

28. LOL!

[BiggJawn]

30. Being worthless.

Any surprise I no longer have contact with them?

Oh, I pick mom up and dust off her urn once in a while...

[Tallulah]

31. constantly accused of stealing

My mother always accused me of stealing anytime anything in the house went missing. For years she accused me, until I moved out. When she realized who it really was, her favorite, she almost couldn't handle it. This sister still steals to this day.

I never did get an apology. Mean old bitch.

[IcyPeas]

34. I was accused of melting crayons on the radiators...

oh, wait, that was me that did that...

[AnneD]

35. Funny you ask that...

Mom and I were talking a few years back. She told me she had finally stopped smoking cigarettes

I confessed to mom that I use to sneek cigarettes out of her purse, crush them up and flush them down the toilet. I hated cigarettes and both she and dad smoked (he had cigars). She died laughing. She thought my brothers were stealing them (they still smoke today). My sister would borrow mom's clothes, esp her panty hose, get runs in them and put them back in the draw. Mom would be trying to get ready for work only to discover her stockings had runs in them.

I did plenty of wild stupid kid things but I was seldom caught. When confronted, I told the truth, and took my punishment. All in all I was fairly responsible though. One brother and my little sister gave mom all kinds of grief. It was so bad, my sis excommunicated herself from the family and none of us have gone looking for her.

As my great uncle earnest said, if one kid turns out bad, you can probably blame the kid. But if two or more kids turn out bad, you got to look at yourself and your parenting.