A typical day on DU
This was insipired by a few hours spent reading the Meta forum. I hope it comes across as the gentle satire it is intended to be. All characters are fictional and any similarity to any actual du'er, living or dead, is coincidental.
A typical day on DU:
Brand New DU'er: I really like Tom & Jerry and The Bugs Bunny / Road Runner Show. Here are some of my favourite clips:
Du'er #1: Oh, so you think hurting animals is funny, do you? You make me sick. 
Brand New Du'er: Wait, what? I love animals. I cried when Bambi's mother died! 
Du'er #1: Sure you did. I bet you laugh yourself silly torturing animals all day, you bastard! Alerted. 
Du'er #2: I object in the strongest possible terms over the use of the word bastard. My grandparents weren't married and they were wonderful, loving people, and so was my father. Even though he's been dead for over 50 years, I still miss him every day and I'm still in therapy over it.
Du'er #3: Oh, Du'er #2, we love you. 
Du'er #2: Thank you, Du'er #3. 
Brand New Du'er: But these cartoons are just jokes. I never hurt animals, I swear.
Du'er #1: Your jokes are lame, and so is Tom & Jerry. Go back to your animal-hurting friends at Stormfront! 
Du'er #4: As a differently-challenged American, I must really object to the use of the L-word. I thought we had all agreed to stop using that word. Just tell him his jokes stink. 
Du'er #5: There it is again: The hatred against those who smell normatively different. I'm outta here! 
Du'er #6: All this bickering is getting old...
Old Du'er: Hey! 
Du'er #6: I'm sorry, Old Du'er! I meant that this discussion is getting really lame... 
Du'er #4: STOP USING THE L-WORD!!!!! 
Brand New Du'er: But I love animals. Here's a picture of me hugging my cat. I call him Hitler because he has this cute little square dark patch under his nose, see?
Du'ers #7-14 (in unison): Booo!!! Tomsbstone! Tombstone! Tombstone! Down with the animal-torturing Nazi!
Admin: * User Brand New Du'er has been PPR'ed *
Du'ers #7-14 (in unison): Yaaaay!!!! 
Ding Dong, the witch is Dead! 
Du'er #15: As a practising Wiccan.... 
= new reply since forum marked as read
She lives close to me and I converse with her sometimes.
Just curious
You're right! Here, just for you:
Pedantic DU'er: I protest! That isn't Tom & Jerry! That's Itchy & Scratchy! Don't you know anything, you Moran?!
Somehow, I still don't have a fresh, clean feeling.
I remember when it was a lot more fun to come here, but my memory could be failing me.
Maybe a little more recognition and appreciation of humor could help. Something to lighten the discourse now and then. I remember some threads that were silly and hysterically funny, a reminder to not take ourselves so seriously all the time.
.............AND you're "crazy"!!!
And yes, I am crazy.
You couldn't have ended this any better...
Very clever and very funny!
Made me lol in the airport causing people to give me the hairy eyeball.
And Bookmarked. Classic comedy!! And too true. I think I almost got run outta here on a rail a couple times before I hit 100 posts. Gee, remember when that used to be a lot?
because that's NOT Tom & Jerry....that's Itchy & Scratchy.
Ron Obvious, you rule!
You have captured the life cycle of a great many threads here on DU. If I read arguing for more than a comment or two I stop reading..........
a Spectacle true to the Roman Spectacles ...for the "Bread and Circuses".. the "Lions and the Gladiators."
Truly...History is a FRIEND!
's. In the END..it's all THEATER of the ABSURD.
BUT...ohhhhh THE MONEY IT MAKES on THE MISERY.......Ohhh the delight it brings between false Friends and Foes..
As one who can not stop looking at the train wreck and occasionally pokes my nose in, this was spot on.
But you obviously have too much time on your hands.
I can smell the tar and pitch and practically hear the sharpening of the knives.
don't forget the 'inherited mixed animal' thread...
I can't make it three lines without LOLing...
"He was up on the couch
today and I got him off there and then I couldn't find
the remote. Then he was scratching himself and
the channels kept changing. "
was also absolute gold.
*wham wham wham*
those "bodice ripper" books
the characters and subject matter change, but the plots are always the same
Perfection!
A bunch of those DUers need to "me too" each other on each point.
So funny, Ron Obvious!
You are too funny!!!~!
This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate. (See <a href="http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=aboutus#communitystandards" target="_blank">Community Standards</a>.)
ALERTER'S COMMENTS:
Argle Bargle. Derp.
JURY RESULTS
You served on a randomly-selected Jury of DU members which reviewed this post. The review was completed at Sun Feb 26, 2013, 11:59 PM, and the Jury voted 5-1 to LEAVE IT.
Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT and said: Abuse of the alert system. Hissyspit sucks.
Juror #2 voted to LEAVE IT and said: Some people...
Juror #3 voted to LEAVE IT and said: Hissyspit sucks!
Juror #4 voted to HIDE IT and said: Post makes no sense, is particularly poorly written and whatever ideas it contains are simply incomprehensible....and vile.
Juror #5 voted to LEAVE IT and said: Did anyone mention Hissyspit sucks?
Juror #6 voted to LEAVE IT and said: Burma Shave
Thank you very much for participating in our Jury system. Your alert privileges have been revoked forever.
Hissyspit
And a great OP from you Ron Obvious!
as a brand new DUer (I came with the Elizabeth Warren wing) I was reading through Meta the last couple of days trying to understand it all. I came away feeling a little 
you'll have a psychotic episode. 
Welcome to DU BTW.
for the warm welcome.
It helps to have a sense of humor here and this is the funniest thread I've read in ages! That's one thing about DUers, we can and do laugh at ourselves, LOL. DUers are the kindest and most generous folks on earth, despite Meta, LOL, and we're so glad you decided to join us!
Hello back Rhiannon12866. It's nice to meet you.
And DU is unique. Yes, we do get excited about things sometimes, but I don't know what I'd do without DU. The news I read here is often reported sooner than the major news outlets, since folks here are so plugged in. And when tragedy strikes, no place is more compassionate. After the 2004 election, which totally blindsided a lot of us, we had two special forums, one for those who were angry and needed to sound off, and the other for "help and sympathy," for those who were shocked and just miserable, including me. 
And there's always The Lounge if you're looking for a laugh. I've been here since the lead up to the war in Iraq and DU is my home. I hope you find a home here, too...
and I'm not sure I want to go there at all. Nice to meet another DUer. Hi AnotherDreamWeaver!
I have tears running down my face!!!
Thank you, Ron
Welcome to DU, Jasana.
"As a practising Wiccan ..."
As a long time DU'er with a low post count you have illustrated quite well why I choose to keep the post count low.
You got it exactly right.
If there was a Grand Prize Duzy of All Time, this should get it.
My gosh, what a cast of characters we are!
Thank you! This is so funny because it's so true! 
Truly funny - a perfect capturing of the circular firing squad!
You should be promoted to Captain for that!
just when I was thinking humor was dead here at DU, this comes along and reassures me it still lives!
This is hilarious...it's funny coz it's true!
Ron Obvious! 
Bravo for a job well done - you've captured the essence and the pain perfectly!
Nailed it!
Last edited Wed Feb 27, 2013, 12:20 AM - Edit history (1)
We're such whacks.
RL
Someone else has to +2
And them some! 
Just change a few words in the first two panels
Right alongside "Don't tutch the but" and "Call Congress right fucking now!"
except I didn't really see myself!
Great job, Ron. Obviously.
