People who are funny when they don't mean to be...

[zanana1]

I just got off the phone with my cousin, Pauline. We were talking and the subject of Newt Gingrich came up. She's been watching alot of CNN. She criticized him mercilessly and, in a very serious tone, she said "Of course, I wouldn't wish him any harm. I just wish someone would shoot him between the eyes".

I couldn't speak for at least three minutes because I was laughing so hard. I had to explain it to her because her feelings were hurt. I know it's mean, but it's hilarious.

[zanana1]

1. I can't believe....

that noone thinks this is funny. Obviously, the funnybone bandit has been here.

[elleng]

2. HYSTERICAL!!!

WHY were her feelings hurt???

[Wait Wut]

3. My sister says things all the time that she doesn't understand...

...are hilarious.

The old joke: "There are three types of people in the world. Those that are good at math and those that aren't." drove her crazy. Her comments were much funnier than the joke. That, and all you need to do is mention time travel and she's off on a confused rant that will crack you up for hours.

[Ron Obvious]

4. My wife's a bit like that

One time she referred to smartphones as iBerries. I don't know why that tickles me so much, but I thought it was hysterical.

[murielm99]

5. My mother!

She confuses Barney Frank and Bernie Sanders.

The other day, she called when I was out. She left this phone message, "Newt Gingrich will never make it as President."

Then she hung up. She left the same message for my daughter.

I don't argue. She votes for Democrats. She and my dad signed a petition to recall Walker. We are thankful for what we have.

[HopeHoops]

6. "I wouldn't hurt you under any circumstances, but you're standing in the path of the bullet about...

...to leave my gun."

A favorite saying of one of my late mentors.