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Thai cooking and much of the rest of South East Asia utilizes the famous birds eye chilli for much of its heat:
These suckers are in a different ball park than jalapeños. Though I hear that habaneros are worse yet. Let's not even get into ghost peppers and its various cultivars that seem to have taken the spice world by storm of late.
but even set to mild I get warm while eating. I should have taken a clue that day from a friend (whose wife is Korean and proudly proclaimed "My wife cooks this stuff all the time - this ain't nothin!"
who ordered "spicy" and proceeded to cry and sweat from his ear lobes.
We have a pretty good relationship with the staff at a Thai place near work - they always greet us when we come in for lunch and know our names and we usually get the same server who takes great care of us but she laughs at me and my "mild please" ordering. But she is really pretty and sweet and funny and I don't mind that she pays any attention to me even if it's just to laugh at my tender American palate.