This "Johann will rub your feet" Gelavia commercial is so slimy I almost want to give up coffee

[Amerigo Vespucci]

Good thing I don't drink Gelavia.

"Will Johan go power walking with you in the mall? Probably not, but he'll rub your feet."

Who the fuck WRITES this shit? Dick Morris?

[pipi_k]

1. Just the thought

of anyone touching my feet makes me cringe.

Not enough to give up coffee, though.

[Chan790]

2. Marketing goons.

The origin of this is probably marketing-research that said some targeted-proportion of women preferred foot-rubs to intercourse.

Power-walking is exercise typically done to burn calories and drop weight and more-often by women, nobody really loves exercising to lose weight though.

Most low-end luxury products like that are marketed to lower-middle-class middle-American women. They tend to buy with less contemplation or research than their wealthier, educated, coastal peers making them the last great effective audience for TV ads meant to push impulse low-lux buying.

Further, the model in the commercial is a sexy male...meaning if you drink Gevalia, ladies, you might get fucking and footrubs from a sexy European with a hot accent, a jet and refined tastes.

All marketing is scummy and manipulative.

So if you want to sell your coffee to housewives in Indy or Branson, advertise that your coffee is like foot-rubs. Sex sells to men. Substitutes for unsatisfactory sex sell to women. A woman is most-likely to splurge on herself on luxurious things following bad sex and more likely-still if it's mentally associated with good sex. Men just buy things they think will get them laid. Also, you're more likely to buy anything if it's being sold by someone you'd like to (in your best internal-cheerleader monologue) F-U-C-K!

The reason this ad doesn't appeal to you is because it's not supposed to. The reason it doesn't appeal to women either is because it's f**king-stupid and this old manipulative approach doesn't work anymore. People aren't this passively non-contemplative and easily-manipulated unless they're drunk or looking to get drunk which is why beer ads work still.

Want to see an effective ad? I like the new Snapple half-and-half ad. Funny, wide-appeal, they get their Twitter feed into the ad in a funny subtle way that suggests what they want you to use it for. (Is it the #tea or the #lemonade that makes new Snapple half-and-half great?) The twitter feed contains links back to content on their Facebook feed which then entices people to sign up for their newsletter to get coupons and offers. It's a high customer-engagement ad. It's fun. It makes me laugh and laughing makes me remember to buy Snapple.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

4. I did enjoy the Snapple ad, quite a bit.

Saw it for the first time last night.

Q: "So which do you like best, the tea or the lemonade?"

A: "They're both so perfectly blended, who cares? IT DOESN'T MATTER!"

Or something like that.

But I remember thinking at the end of the commercial "that was pretty cool."

[sarge43]

3. Now a soothing foot massage by a SO is lovely; however,

nothing shall come between my coffee and me, especially that first morning cup. Go way Johann or I'll bounce this mug off your skull.