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Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsThem Old Dog Blues. It's been a wretched week at the Bear household.
Hi. Coming out of semi-lurker mode because I'm worn out and sad, and The Lounge gives good hugs.
I post now and then about our two Cavaliers, Tucker and Merrily. They're kind of getting on, Tucker's 11 and Merrily 9, but Cavaliers have pretty long lives so we weren't counting days, til now.
Tucker's been suffering from weakening back legs, arthritis stuff, not able to get on the couch without difficulty, but we figured it for old age and dealt with it. Then he took a turn for the damn-near-crippled. We took him to the vet and, this week, to a specialist. Turns out he has a badly bulging disk, nerve damage, and two large masses on his spleen. We're now on that terrible course of "Do we spend massive money on something that might prolong a painful life by a short time, or do we let him go on for a bit and then gently let him go?" He's a trooper, a happy personality and glad to be here right now, but he's clearly in pain that we can only manage for a while. I've taken the splenectomy route before with a beloved dog and frankly it didn't buy us much of anything.
Meanwhile, Merrily got what we though was kennel cough. Well, the vet did. I figured otherwise since no one else got it and it was clearly in response to excitement and physical activity. This week's X-ray confirmed congestive heart failure. We literally have an appointment with a dog cardiologist on Monday. She can probably be managed for a while on Lasix but not forever.
So we've got to elders who need to pee every hour, can't go for walks, can't go up our many, many stairs, Merrily won't eat but is stressed out about anyone else eating, Tucker wants to eat constantly (I swear there's a senility issue) and begs for food nonstop, and Mr. Bear travels a lot. I work too, and I'm going a little mad trying to clean up after accidents and keep everyone comfortable and half-carry a guy that's too big for me to haul around.
I find some Zen on and off, appreciating the miracle that is a dog, and the sadness that inevitably being God to them brings. The vet keeps saying "You're good people. I know you're doing all you can. There's no shame in deciding to let go." She's sad as hell too, which is oddly comforting. But right now comfort has its limits.
Ah. Tucker's awake. He's glad to see me. I'm glad to see him. But it's going to be another hard day.
Thanks for listening. Some problems have no solutions, but it's good to share them.
Scuba
(53,475 posts)nolabear
(41,960 posts)This ain't my first Old Dog rodeo, and when I had to euthanize my Joe I remember walking out of the vet's past a mother dog and her new litter. It made me smile that sad smile that acknowledge that individual lives end but LIFE goes on.
Tobin S.
(10,418 posts)but this.
nolabear
(41,960 posts)pscot
(21,024 posts)That happened to a pitbull I once had. There was nothing we could do for him and he was absolutely miserable. I finally took him to paws and had him euthanized. I loved that dog. I stood there and held his head while he died. It just destroyed me.
nolabear
(41,960 posts)The only comfort I've ever taken is that all my lovely dogs have ended their lives hearing me say the thing they loved the most to hear, "You're a GOOD dog."
PumpkinAle
(1,210 posts)While it may not bring comfortat the moment - knowing you have been able to give Tucker a great life with love and kindness is something to hang on to.
Sending hugs.
nolabear
(41,960 posts)I do know that. And a big dose of humility, which, while sometimes painful, is a helluva teacher. Thanks.
In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)Thanks.
magical thyme
(14,881 posts)grasswire
(50,130 posts)It's an important part of CHF treatment in humans. When my tabby was diagnosed with CHF I started giving him CoQ10 and he beat his prognosis by two whole years. Seriously.
nolabear
(41,960 posts)Mr. Bear takes it, but I've never known it to be a canine remedy. Good advice.
grasswire
(50,130 posts)For my kitty boy, I would just puncture my capsule and drizzle a bit on his wet food twice a day. I popped the rest of the capsule in my mouth. As soon as he was diagnosed with CHF and hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, I knew that CoQ10 would help him. I informed my vet. His prognosis was very poor. I credit that supplement with giving him two more years.
shenmue
(38,506 posts)hopemountain
(3,919 posts)know how it feels, sadly. be sure to sit with them - and tell them all the wonderful things and memories you have of them - how much you love them and appreciate them. they welcome hearing it as much as hoomans. also, it consoles them. they have concern for their hoomans and sometimes hang on so as not to leave them.
bamademo
(2,193 posts)Lost them a year apart due to cancer. It was hard but I wouldn't make them suffer so I could have more time with them. And yes, I told them each what good dogs they were and that was the last thing they heard.
hopemountain
(3,919 posts)one was a heeler mix and the other a yellow lab. we had a wonderful vet who came out to our car and spoke to them so sweetly. our heeler was almost 18 and the lab was just short of her 17th year. he calmed them with a sedative and then euthanized them. we were able to take them home and bury them in the yard.
nolabear
(41,960 posts)I always have had a mixed sense of incredible sadness and awe. How different our bodies are when they are full of us! I don't believe religion, but at times like that I understand why many do. It's an incredible mystery and life is an incredible force.
For now, we're doing one day at a time. I'd like to have some more, but love them too much to let them suffer. My wish has always been that I would have the same if it gets to be worse rather than better.
You're all wonderful. Thanks.
nB
bamademo
(2,193 posts)They were fine one day and went down quickly. Beau lost the ability to walk due to spinal cancer. I spent his last night with him laying beside me and stayed awake all night with him. I had these wonderful people called Doorstep Vet that came out the next day. My ex and I put a towel underneath him to support him and walked him outside so he could lay out the the yard he loved so much and that's where we said goodbye.
But since then I have given others a chance that were on death row and got them out in the nick of time. They know and are forever grateful. You have to have time to grieve because it's not fair to get another one until you're ready to accept another into to your life and realize you'll probably have to do it over again.
rurallib
(62,413 posts)because you were there for them. Letting go is so hard. No doubt the hardest part of life.
Hugs for you from me and our wee menagerie of critters