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Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsForty years ago today, the earth shook, history changed. Two people noticed. I was one of them.
Forty years ago today, in a dark, smoky cabaret in what was then West Berlin, a woman from Münster in Westfalen told me she was leaving for China the next day, but that I should meet her girlfriend from up north. I said, sure, where is she? She leaned back, and said, "right here."
The beautiful vision I saw nearly took my breath away, And, nerd that I was, I figured I would never have a chance with a woman like that. But then I thought, if I took that attitude my whole life, I indeed never WOULD have a chance with a woman like that. So I started talking to her, and lo and behold, she liked talking to me, too. She had never met an American before (at least not one that spoke her language). And that, as the saying goes, was that.
We've gone through some hoops to get here (cancer, heart issues, bureaucratic BS, etc.), but we've had some good times, too. Attractive, intelligent children, great parents, and some wild luck in making some friendships that may seem a little out of the ordinary.
Totally in the dark about what the future would bring in 1974, now forty years later, we figure we'll milk our time left for what we can, be it forty more years or forty more minutes. One thing is for sure: if you had told us that night in Berlin what the future held in store for the two of us, we would have both told you that whatever it is you were smoking, you were smoking too much of it.
In the beginning, there was an unsuspecting teenager in the flat farmland of northwestern Germany, never imagining that I was soon to disrupt her life a few years later:
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Then, it was the two of us.....
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A double wedding with my brother....
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A couple of daughters along the way......
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....who came to hang with interesting people.....
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...but are interesting in their own right......
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Some happy times.....
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And some friends to remind us that things can change in a single instant....
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But at the end of the day, you play the hand that fate deals you. We've been more fortunate than many. It's been a nice ride, and we still have each other after ALL that crazy stuff that never would have occurred if we both hadn't been in that smoky joint in Germany forty years ago. If it all ends tomorrow, no one can take that away from us.
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What a long, strange trip it's been..........
auntAgonist
(17,252 posts)May you have 40 more years of love and joy together.
aA
CaliforniaPeggy
(149,791 posts)You two have had one hell of a ride indeed.......and the best part? It ain't over yet!
Great series of pictures!
I am honored to call you friend.
I hope someday our families can meet...what fun that would be!
Congrats again!
DFW
(54,502 posts)On ALL counts!
redwitch
(14,954 posts)How fortunate you all are!
Phentex
(16,334 posts)Happy Anniversary!
DFW
(54,502 posts)We were both so busy, we never found the time to think about getting married. This is the day we met. We only got married because my brother invited us to our wedding. That is not a typo.
My brother called me up in December, 1981. I was in Boston that day. He asked me if I wanted to be best man at his wedding next April. I said sure, and that I'd see if my (then-)girlfriend could make over from Germany. He remarked that if we were both there that we could join in the fun and make it a double. I thought "no arrangements! What a deal" So I called my girlfriend, who was in Germany at the time, and relayed my brother's suggestion. She said the German equivalent of "Sure, that works for me," and that was that. Not the most romantic of proposals, but it doesn't seem to have been a detriment.
dixiegrrrrl
(60,010 posts)and a lovely family.
I was smiling wide thru the whole post....
DFW
(54,502 posts)brer cat
(24,646 posts)to love and a life well-lived! I hope you have another 40 years of bliss.
Triana
(22,666 posts)shenmue
(38,506 posts)DFW
(54,502 posts)lunatica
(53,410 posts)I'm so jealous!
DFW
(54,502 posts)At age 92, he'll still keep you in stitches. He remains the Brooklyn boy he once was.
BrotherIvan
(9,126 posts)Both of you and your daughters. Thank you for sharing a bit of your memories with us.
The picture of you on the beach I had to do a double take because I thought you were this guy, singing "Baby It's a Wild World" which would be very relevant to your post
louis-t
(23,310 posts)DFW
(54,502 posts)In the spring of 1970, I was at a small informal concert near Boston with a blues singer named Chris Smither, an old-timey group called the Spark Gap Wonder Boys, and a red-headed woman whose voice just mesmerized me. Her name was Bonnie Raitt. After the gig was over, I asked her if she had any recordings out. She said, "oh, no, I'm nowhere near that level yet."
Skip to fall, 1970. I'm a freshman in college, and I see a concert coming up on campus, lead-off act Bonnie Raitt and the main act some guy I've never heard of named Cat Stevens. While in line, some of my new classmates saw me and asked if I was such a big fan of Cat Stevens, too. I told them I has no idea who he was, but I was there to see Bonnie Raitt. They had no idea who Bonnie Raitt was. I said just wait until after you hear her sing, and THEN tell me you have no idea who she is. They all admitted that they had never heard such a voice before, and that she could end up being a real music star. And the rest, as they say, is history....
louis-t
(23,310 posts)Cooley Hurd
(26,877 posts)calimary
(81,594 posts)What a marvelous life you've had! The BOTH of you!
get the red out
(13,468 posts)Your family is beautiful. Congratulations to you all.
ColesCountyDem
(6,943 posts)DFW
(54,502 posts)Wir feiern heute abend mit einem grossen Essen.
ColesCountyDem
(6,943 posts)DFW
(54,502 posts)Wir befinden uns zur Zeit auf Cape Cod. Kabeljau, Jakobsmuscheln und Hummer, und damit hat sich's!!
ColesCountyDem
(6,943 posts)DFW
(54,502 posts)Mehrfach sogar!
BlancheSplanchnik
(20,219 posts)Very well done, that was a good read. Thanks
And congratulations!
OnyxCollie
(9,958 posts)louis-t
(23,310 posts)villager
(26,001 posts)Thanks for posting, and mazel tov to you...
And not only Presidents current-and-future, but Stan Lee to boot!
I suppose "meeting Stan Lee" may be the only place where our stories intersect (well, that and great kids, though, alas, my own marriage didn't sustain)...
But quite the uplifting post!
DFW
(54,502 posts)Long story, but one time he sent me a limerick to use at a private comedy show:
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To do some things they shouldn't
But when they got
To the perfect spot
They forget the Viagra and couldn't
villager
(26,001 posts)DFW
(54,502 posts)I asked him to make up something for me to greet DU with, and sure enough:
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villager
(26,001 posts)I think you just did
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
mnhtnbb
(31,415 posts)you were in a certain place at a certain time and you took a risk.
Happy Anniversary!
DFW
(54,502 posts)Destiny so often turns on a dime.
Peacetrain
(22,881 posts)for the Peacetrains also this year.. We (John and Emily) wish you the best and 40 more..
DFW
(54,502 posts)Glad to have you join us!
kelliekat44
(7,759 posts)Tuesday Afternoon
(56,912 posts)woodsprite
(11,940 posts)Such beautiful pictures! Thank you for posting them! It's so nice to put faces to names.
Boomerproud
(7,979 posts)That is quite a group of people you've spent time with. You should start a thread about which "celebrity" was the most interesting, or authentic.
DFW
(54,502 posts)Many were both. Of the presidents, probably Clinton and Gerry Ford were the most warm and authentic. Obama is authentic, too, but more reserved on a personal basis.
Helen Thomas and Stan Lee, for example, were/are both, attesting to their humble origins and their "why am I supposed to care what they say about me?" attitudes. Theo Bikel takes time to get to know, but he's a wonderful, wonderful man. Ruth Westheimer, on the other hand, is exactly in private as she is in public. The list goes on. At the end of the day, most so-called "celebrities" are ordinary people thrust into extraordinary positions (Clinton and Obama very much excepted) just like you and I.
Paladin
(28,283 posts)Curmudgeoness
(18,219 posts)What a wonderful thing you have. Congratulations. You are very lucky.
DFW
(54,502 posts)But she makes it REALLY easy...........
How could a good looking guy like you think you had ZERO chance with any girl, even a beautiful lady like that? Seriously.....(you actually look a little like me)
DFW
(54,502 posts)It was probably the fact that almost every other time I tried to meet a nice girl before that, I struck out!
emsimon33
(3,128 posts)panader0
(25,816 posts)I still want to know what you do for a living. (Kidding, I know it's a secret.)
DFW
(54,502 posts)(Kidding, I looked it up last night)
NRaleighLiberal
(60,034 posts)and congratulations in so many ways!
my wife Mrs. Tomato and I are on the same sort of arc...34 years this coming December!
DFW
(54,502 posts)Keep it up!
Solly Mack
(90,800 posts)shireen
(8,333 posts)It was very touching and i loved the photos.
Congratulations on figuring out how to live a rich productive life with many interesting and wonderful adventures, with a partner who shares it and makes it all the more meaningful. You're very fortunate.
It's always a pleasure to read your posts, you have an engaging style that draws people in. Aren't you working on a book? When is it coming out? I'll send you my copy to sign!
DFW
(54,502 posts)I need to get a website ready, which will probably require me to withdraw from DU, as all vestiges of anonymity will then vanish, but I will let everyone know when it's available. I think it's at the printer's now, actually. At least the hardcover.
If you want an idea of whether or not you'd like it, ask California Peggy, who has actually read it. Freshwest, too, I think. It has already been read by a small diverse group of friends from whom I wanted some feedback, including Howard Dean and the real Adrian Cronauer (not Robin Williams). Stan Lee gave me a hilarious plug line, too. Figure what might happen if a nerd in southern California, locked into a loveless marriage and seeking refuge in wine tastings, suddenly gets the chance to be friends with a retired (but very much compos mentis) Thomas Jefferson through a window to the year 1818, and that's just one of the subplots. Luckily, the brother of the nerd's assistant knows "maa shalats." It's difficult to explain! LOL
truedelphi
(32,324 posts)I am eager to get the book.
DFW
(54,502 posts)Hissyspit
(45,788 posts)DFW
(54,502 posts)Cheers to Nawth Caaalanuh!
Fla Dem
(23,875 posts)many more wondrous years together.
DFW
(54,502 posts)She deserves the tribute for allowing me to accompany her on the ride. We don't know how many more years we have left, but we'll try to make them wondrous, you can count on that!
veness
(413 posts)applegrove
(118,900 posts)NBachers
(17,186 posts)Everything you write brings us along for another fascinating journey on your long strange trip. Thanks again for making us part of it.
Hey DFW- As a guy who'd been bearded and non-bearded in my history from late '60's to today - Has there ever been a time when you shaved it all off?
Please keep us posted. You're one lucky, lucky dude.
DFW
(54,502 posts)No, there has never been a time since 1969 when I didn't have the beard. I have extremely sensitive skin, pretty much as did Yasser Arafat (odd parallel, but there you are), who also couldn't shave for the same reason. If I shave, my skin turns bright red like a boiled lobster. Since I don't want to do what Arafat did (i.e. use clippers to leave a permanent short stubble), I let it grow out. Since I graduated high school in 1970, and those times being what they were, the high school administration preferred harassing me "to please the alumni" in order to get me to shave my beard off, even though the only other one of my classmates with a beard, a right-wing guy, was subjected to no such harassment. Not only did I not shave it off, I even snuck my brother, a student at a rival school, into our class picture at graduation, and there was nothing they could do about it by the time they found out months later.
And yes, I'm one lucky dude. I'm not dense enough to have overlooked that!
NBachers
(17,186 posts)"I was photobombing before it was cool"
DFW
(54,502 posts)Last edited Tue Aug 12, 2014, 01:24 AM - Edit history (1)
I was only there for my senior year, so I wasn't a major figure among the student body. It considered itself and its alumni to be some kind of hot shit just because they'd been there since the stone age. Bush Sr. and Jr. both graduated from there (Sr. interviewed me before I was admitted), so you can imagine to what extent I did NOT fit in!
bowens43
(16,064 posts)flygal
(3,231 posts)Gratulieren! I live in NW Germany, loved your Story! Alles Gute!
rosesaylavee
(12,126 posts)Congratulations!
Lydia Leftcoast
(48,217 posts)Was für schöne Familie!
Voice for Peace
(13,141 posts)tishaLA
(14,176 posts)What a lovely tribute. What a lovely family.
Hekate
(91,003 posts)Thanks for being here, DFW, for all you do and all you are. Sorry all I can say beyond that today is silly smilies.
Hekate
DFW
(54,502 posts)Last edited Sat Jul 26, 2014, 12:45 PM - Edit history (2)
...or considered silly!
Thanks, Hekate!
Fred Friendlier
(81 posts)I am truly happy for you.
femmocrat
(28,394 posts)Thank you for sharing the wonderful photos!
Half-Century Man
(5,279 posts)1: Forty year Anniversary. We just crossed 26 ourselves, we will catch up presently.
2: Beard, so few appreciate beards. Mine is nearly all white now.
grahamhgreen
(15,741 posts)DFW
(54,502 posts)THIS is Valerie Plame:
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We know her and Joe, so if I got the two confused, there would definitely be some trouble coming my way!
niyad
(113,860 posts)much for sharing this bit of your lives with us.
joeybee12
(56,177 posts)MarianJack
(10,237 posts)Thank you for sharing. You've certainly met some terrific people on the journey.
PEACE!
Congratulations and thank you for sharing your beautiful story!
DeSwiss
(27,137 posts)K&R
You're a lucky stiff......
DFW
(54,502 posts)No arguments. It hasn't always been a smooth ride, but all in all, you're right. I'm a lucky stiff. I'd be foolish not to know it.
gblady
(3,541 posts)both of you!
Mnemosyne
(21,363 posts)BainsBane
(53,127 posts)Every time I read what you write about her, I get a bit teary-eyed. You restore my faith in humanity. I wish your family many more years of happiness.
pablo_marmol
(2,375 posts)And yeah.......life is one very strange little dog.
ChisolmTrailDem
(9,463 posts)bvf
(6,604 posts)bluesbassman
(19,385 posts)Yours is a wonderful story, and thank you for sharing it. Congratulations on forty years.
DesertDiamond
(1,616 posts)steve2470
(37,457 posts)You must have done a lot of things right along the way, to have those pics and the lovely family. One day I'll make it to Germany. Best wishes to you and your family !
LeftishBrit
(41,219 posts)Lugnut
(9,791 posts)May you have many more!
ctsnowman
(1,903 posts)Baitball Blogger
(46,776 posts)mountain grammy
(26,666 posts)Turbineguy
(37,412 posts)Congratulations.
DFW
(54,502 posts)I haven't directly answered all of them, but I appreciate every one of them.
It's just a piece of a story--our story--, and this was a sort of cyber invitation to all DUers to the celebration party.
Nice of so many of you to show up!
livetohike
(22,169 posts)irisblue
(33,053 posts)mazel tov! my friend, mazel tov!
enjoy