Stories from the Middlelands: Me
It turns out that I'm smarter than most people. Yes, believe it or not, it's true, at least judging by my college transcript to this point. I'm going to graduate at the end of this year and I might do it with a 4.0 GPA. About five hundred people were in last year's graduating class at my school and fourteen of them graduated with a 4.0 GPA. People talk about there being different kinds of intelligences or people being intelligent in different areas. While that may be true, if you ace college it means that you are generally smart and can be taught to do just about anything.
The ability to learn and adapt and a workaholic work ethic are my keys to success. I put in 55 hours a week at my job and take three classes a semester including summer. I know that there aren't many people around who can do that, especially at a high level of success.
I know that all sounds egoistic, but I've needed to say those words for a long time, and, more importantly, I need to believe them. The reason for that is that I'm lacking in one crucial area, and that is confidence. I was brought up by people who weren't very smart and who treated me badly. When I got to be around twenty I started reading about Eastern philosophy and the need to overcome the ego. Little did I know that I was already there. I didn't have a fucking ego. I was a clueless doormat.
My mind became completely unraveled about the time I was twenty, as well. I would spend the next ten years in a state of varying degrees of psychosis along with mood swings that could make me feel like the second coming on one end and a sub-human piece of filth on the other. My mind was shattered, leaving me in a state that would make most people take their own lives. Clueless doormat would have been a huge improvement at that point.
The introduction of psychiatric medication saved my life and began a long learning process where I have discovered who I truly am and what I can accomplish. I have aspects of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder in my brain. I can still access that insanity, but I can also stand back and see it for what it is now. My better thought processes, the ones that are currently putting this post together, can now overcome the crazy part of me and keep it away.
I have come from an absolute disaster, and I'm on the verge of accomplishing something that most people can't do. The fact that I have done it while also having a severe mental illness makes it even more unlikely. Even if I end up with a 3.96 or something like that, it's still going to be one of the highlights of my life when I have that degree in my hands. It will be something that I've wanted for the last twenty-two years and I'm finally going to get there.
For those who think I'm revealing anything that could damage me (especially for those who would like to damage me) everything I've said here is known by my family, friends, employer, and school. I won a scholarship for school and had talked about my battles with mental illness right in the application.
= new reply since forum marked as read
What you've done is amazing and wonderful!
I won't ask you to type a book like I did. 
I needed that! 
You have much to be proud of!
this is a huge achievement. I worked full time and went to college at night - took 11 years to graduate - but I didn't have the obstacles you had to overcome and only worked a 35 hour week. Your drive and commitment are personal characteristics that will greatly help you whatever you choose to do in the future. Congratulations!
You are what is best about being on DU.
