An Invitation to Connect with Satan at CES 2015

[MicaelS]

http://qz.com/322002/an-invitation-to-connect-with-satan-at-ces-2015/

I hope this email finds you well. I noticed that you were attending this year’s CES, and I was wondering if you were interested in scheduling a meeting with Satan.

Satan, the Prince of Darkness, is an international leader in inflicting pain, destruction, and doom upon hapless mortals. Coming off a fresh round of funding (from investors including the Illuminati, a subterranean cabal of shadowy banking executives, and Andreessen Horowitz) Satan is looking to make 2015 a year to remember for His trademark brand of deceit and wickedness.

Satan can walk you through his patent-pending technique for tormenting lost souls and discuss emerging trends in the sowing evil-upon-innocents space. Satan can also provide exclusive insight into the ongoing Comcast-Time Warner merger.

The King of the Bottomless Infernal Pit is available for briefings at a private suite at the Mirage. We’re pleased to offer free transportation to and from your hotel via Satan’s preferred method of transportation, the Las Vegas taxi system.

[Major Nikon]

1. Just don't go quail hunting with him