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Wed Jan 28, 2015, 01:17 AM

Make Crack the Idaho State Recreational Drug...immediately if not sooner


The Idaho Giant Salamander. What can be said about this noble beast?

Well, it's a salamander...t's really big for a salamander (average size is 8 inches)...it lives in Idaho...and it separates the adults from the Republicans in our state legislature, and not just because most Republicans' slime coats are thicker than the one on any salamander.

On the 19th of January in the Year of Our Ford Twenty and Fifteen, one Ilah Hickman, Boise junior high student, traveled the fog-shrouded wasteland that is our state capital to plead for this magnificent creature to be named Idaho's State Amphibian.

By a basically party-line vote of 10-6, the assembled worthies in our legislature said no.

Reason? "Federal overreach." The slimier-than-a-salamander Repukes we sent to Boise to do the people's work decided labeling these salamanders - these plentiful salamanders, I must add - as an official state symbol would inevitably lead to the federal government taking over the state.

Therefore, I urge - nay, I plead - the Idaho state legislature to declare Crack the Official Recreational Drug of the State of Idaho, since so many of our elected officials are on it.

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