Gwyneth Paltrow Endorses 'Steam Douche'

[Blue_Tires]

Oh, goop! Gwyneth Paltrow has yet another shocking beauty treatment to share.

The woman who once toasted "hairless vaginas," is now offering up a "next level" beauty tip for those who can afford the Los Angeles-based Tikkun Spa. On her lifestyle website Goop, the 42-year-old actress boasts about the Korean spa and their "golden ticket" treatment, the Mugworth V-Steam.

"You sit on what is essentially a mini-throne, and a combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al," Paltrow explains. "It is an energetic release -- not just a steam douche -- that balances female hormone levels."

The actress adds of the eyebrow-raising procedure, "If you're in LA, you have to do it."

Sounds pretty "LA" to us!

The vagina steam clean comes at a price. A single treatment goes for $50, while a five-pack costs about $200. Tikkun Spa offers five different v-steams on their website -- the signature, the slimming, the infertility, the post-partum and a men's signature v-steam.

https://tv.yahoo.com/news/gwyneth-paltrow-endorses-steam-douche-152200895.html

One of these days, the Lounge is going to have to explain to me this mythical place called 'California', which seems to exist on a plane unrestrained by logic or reason...

(While we're at it, someone can explain Portland to me as well)

[Blue Owl]

1. Vaginas in the Mist

Treat yo self...

[Telcontar]

23. OMG I sharted myself I laughed so hard

[MrMickeysMom]

25. P-p-p-p--p!

[Denis 11]

35. THANKS FOR THE LAUGH

I needed it

[Newest Reality]

2. Oh,

I thought it was going to be an euphemistic endorsement of a political candidate. Whew!

[cwydro]

3. Mugwort steam?

Sounds Harry Potterish to me.

That woman is just pure T crazy.

[HappyMe]

4. lol!

That's what I was thinking.


She's about the last person I would consult on anything.

[cwydro]

5. Still giggling here,

Mugwort steam!

[HappyMe]

6. So am I!

Expecto patronum steam is the most powerful though.

[cwydro]

8. Of course,

It would have to be!

[NV Whino]

7. You get a free Gobstopper at the end of treatment.

[cwydro]

9. Omg!

y'all are cracking me up here.

[Yavin4]

10. What wine goes well with Steam Douche? n/t

[In_The_Wind]

33. Methinks: something cold and bubbly.

[Taitertots]

44. Box wine... Franzia white Zinfandel n/t

[sharp_stick]

11. A men's signature V-Steam?

Do they just jam it up your ass and dose you? Sounds messy as hell.

[Enrique]

12. that's hot n/t

[progressoid]

13. Somebody was drunk one night...

and said, "Hey, I know how we can make some money! Steam Douche!"

[Gidney N Cloyd]

14. Stanley Steemer will do it for $40.

[Laffy Kat]

22. . . .

[Gidney N Cloyd]

27. AND your carpet's guaranteed.

[trof]

15. Yet another Wretched Excess.

[Skittles]

18. it's not just that Ms. Paltrow is an over-indulged, entitled, arrogant princess

it's that's she's so completely UNAWARE of how ridiculous she is that makes her so over-the-top inane

[MicaelS]

30. Skittles, that is so good, I think I'll steal it.

For some future sig.

[Demoiselle]

46. Makes me sad...

Her mom is such a good, intelligent actress and I've always liked Gwyneth's work, too. I can't understand the dumb.

[Skittles]

48. love Blythe Danner

but the ONLY role I have seen where I thought Gwynneth excelled was in Sylvia

[NightWatcher]

16. and then you consciously uncouple yourself from the throne, smoke a ciggy, and leave

[Kaleva]

17. It's cheaper to buy a Cooch Rehydrator (the brand name) on Amazon

Or you could just microwave a cup of lemon water till it's boiling and then squat over it for 10 minutes.

[Skittles]

19. thanks

now the NSA knows I searched for COOCH REHYDRATOR on Amazon

[Kaleva]

20. Now every future employer who runs a background on you will see that!

[MicaelS]

31. I figured you were looking on Amazon for this.....

Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant - 55 Gallon

[Skittles]

43. SCHEDULING MICAELS FOR ASS KICKING

*EGREGIOUS*!!!

[cwydro]

40. Bwa!

[sakabatou]

21. Um...

Ok.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

24. "Steam Douche" would be a great band name.

Otherwise...

[Blue Owl]

26. With opening act The Vulva Vapors

n/t

[kwassa]

28. Is there a Steampunk Douche as well?

[sarge43]

42. Yes

And you have to have a smoke afterwards.

[betsuni]

29. So the new version of the saying "blow smoke up my ass" is ...

"blow steam up my uterus."

[lovemydog]

32. But it won't make her any less irritating.

[olddots]

34. this sounds better than her last product endorsment

Ronco's Hot Cheese Enima .

[jmowreader]

36. LA women NEED their reproductive tracts pressure washed?

[raccoon]

37. I can't stand that woman. I wish I'd never hear anything else about her. nt

[UTUSN]

38. Sounds too close to cooking bacon naked. n/t

[pipi_k]

39. Oh FGS!!!

Why spend $200 for it?


My favorite Chinese restaurant lets me steam my ladybits over their rice cookers for free during the slow hours.


Mr Pipi occasionally gets his chestnuts roasted over the Pork Lo Mein pan.

[LeftinOH]

41. "Ya got Cluck, Cluck, Ssssssssssssteam Douche!"

Obscure Bob Fosse reference here - if anyone gets it.

[Paulie]

45. So how is it getting past the cervix?

Last edited Sat Jan 31, 2015, 12:42 PM - Edit history (1)

100psi?!?!?

You sit on what is essentially a mini-throne, and a combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al," Paltrow explains.

DaFuq?

[Bosonic]

47. Gah, scrub #56 from my order please