21 Oblivious Men That Are Now Single For A Reason.

[IronLionZion]

1. A girl once asked me to keep my dorm door unlocked so that she could wake me up in the morning. The next morning she crawled into bed with me, and I couldn't understand why she would come over if she was so tired.

I stayed perfectly still so that she would be able to sleep.

2. A girl once asked to use my shower, and left the door wide open as an invitation. So I thought I'd be a funny guy and throw ice cubes at her.

3. This girl and I were alone in my apartment, and we'd just finished watching a movie. She'd had her head resting on my lap the entire time. Afterwards we were spooning on the couch, she cuddled up against me, kissed me on the cheek, and looked up at me expectantly. I stared at her for a few moments and then said, "So... what do you want to do?" After a while I ended up taking her home.

4. In high school, a girl asked me for a ride home from a football game one time, to which I agreed. She asked if I wanted to come in and see her room (I forget why this seemed like a normal thing), and that it wouldn't bother her parents because they weren't home.

So, I went in and had a tour of her house, then left. I was pretty pissed off when I figured it out a while later.

5. She ordered an ice-cream cone, 'accidentally' smeared it on her cheek, and asked me to get it off. I grabbed the last napkin and wiped it off. Persistent as ever, she 'accidentally' smears ice-cream on her other cheek and politely informs me that I can get it off with my mouth, given our napkin deficit. I just said, "Nah, I hate strawberry", and used my dry elbows to get it off.

In hindsight, I should have used my shirt.

More: http://www.tickld.com/x/jaw/21-oblivious-men-that-are-now-single-for-a-reason

[mythology]

1. Those guys are amateurs

Any average guy can miss the signals from a woman. I on the other hand, missed when a hooker was trying to pick me up. Not that I would have gone along with it anyway, but when somebody who has sex professionally can't get you to realize what she's up to, then you know you're a dumbass when it comes to women.

[WinkyDink]

7. Dr. Frasier Crane, is that you?!

[Xipe Totec]

16. Cringe worthy. nt

[BlueJazz]

2. When I was younger I was a little bit like that. Not because of ignorance but mainly my English...

...upbringing. I was taught to "Show your manners" and all that stuff. I think what was going on was: I didn't want to make a move and then have the Lady say.."Oh my god..you asshole..I didn't mean we should have..etc.."

THAT sort of thing. But as they also say "Tarzan learn fast!"

[IronLionZion]

5. The fear of rejection is crippling for many people of both genders

Which is why I think women choose the subtle hints instead of just asking. Men fear rejection more than death sometimes and don't want to do something wrong or offend her.

I had a girlfriend tell me that women like the guy to initiate and take the risk, because women like to accept or reject. And I was told by more experienced people, that it's important to get rejected and not be so afraid of it.

Rejection is part of life. If you're not nervous and excited for what may happen, then it's not worth it. At the same time, it's important to know how to take rejection in stride and not be bent out of shape when it happens.

[BlueJazz]

6. What you say is very true. It took me a bit of time to learn not to let others determine your worth

But I was young and learning was actually good for my soul.

[NJCher]

15. a facing rejection story

When I was in my college years, I was a radical feminist. Still am, but beside the point. Anyway, I thought that I should walk the walk and that meant not waiting around for some guy to ask me out.

I finally found someone I thought was worth asking out. Believe me, this takes on a whole new meaning when calculating the cost of date. Sounds horrible, but that's what I thought.

OK, so this person survived the "is he worth the $$" test. I planned to pay for dinner and a movie. I was a poor college student, living in an attic apartment.

I placed the call and he answered. I was so terrified that I hung up.

Anyone who knows me will tell you I am no shrinking violet. For me to be intimidated was noteworthy.

I finally built up the nerve to call back, but I made sure I left enough time between the calls that he wouldn't connect the two calls.

When I asked if he wanted to go out and outlined what I had in mind, he was so excited he could hardly speak. He said he'd always wished a woman would do what I'd done. He said yes, profusely.
We went out and had a great time.

I learned something very important from that experience. One is that finding the right person should not be left to just one gender. Who you spend your life with is important enough that both sexes need to put something into the effort.

Many years later, I went out deliberately looking for the person I have now spent the last 25 years with. It's been a completely happy relationship. I owe it all to that lesson I learned from my belief in
"walking the walk."


Cher

[pinboy3niner]

3. Sometimes a guy who has a good friendship with a woman doesn't want to jeopardize that

Changing the relationship can risk the friendship.

[seveneyes]

4. Some Liquored on

[treestar]

8. a couple of those were pretty unfair

I mean really I can't ask a man over for coffee? It means sex? A lot of those could have been innocent on the part of the woman.

A lot of the comments there were to the effect that women can be clear about it rather than subtle. But then women are afraid of being called names or being seen as "forward." I resented that old fashioned term when applied to me a few times when I was younger. I guess I was thinking I had the right to choose when men to be interested in. I was supposed to let them do the choosing. This was AFTER the sexual revolution of the 70s - the supposed revolution.

[Orrex]

9. Well, that's the whole schtick.

I don't know that #8 needs to be about sex. It could as readily be an invitation to talk more intimately than on the sidewalk, for instance. But it's specifically put forth as the reason why Oblivious Guy #8 is still single, so we can reasonably infer that his oblivious failure to take her up on her offer (for conversation, for sex, for an exchange of gaming strategies, whatever) is directly to blame.

[treestar]

10. He thought so later

"I can't drink coffee late at night, it keeps me up" Lady, if you're out there, I didn't realize that coffee didn't really mean ... well, whatever."

I suppose later he accepted such an invitation and it led to sex. Scary if he's now generalizing that's what it really means.

[Orrex]

11. But why must be interpreted that way?

8. I was dropping my date off at her apartment after a nice evening. She asked me up for coffee, but I politely declined, stating "I can't drink coffee late at night, it keeps me up" Lady, if you're out there, I didn't realize that coffee didn't really mean ... well, whatever.

"Well, whatever" could easily mean any of the possibilities that I mentioned, as well as many others. Why must we take it as "Lady, I now understand that you were propositioning me for sex;" it might have meant "Lady, I now understand that I missed an opportunity to get to know you better."

For that matter, why should we assume that she wasn't asking him up for that reason? Might she not, in fact, have been offering coffee as part of the socially-constructed pretense to invite him for sex? And, if she might have meant it that way, would it be wrong for him to interpret it that way? Assuming that the tale is true as told, I'm guessing that he has more context than you or I. Perhaps his post hoc interpretation is correct?

DISCLAIMER: In my youth I was 100% The Oblivious Male, to the point that friends (male and female) would mock me immediately after I'd utterly failed to pick up on signals that, to them, were obvious and unmistakable beacons. Perhaps for that reason I am more inclined to sympathize with the non-sexual interpretation of each of these 21 examples, because I would almost certainly have interpreted them that way myself.

[treestar]

12. I guess only the lady, if she is out there, knows

I was 100% oblivious female. If I were young I'd read that as oh no! Better not invite anyone in for coffee. Who knows how they will take that. Back when I was young that would have scared young men as it was supposed to be their idea and up to them when anything happened. You were said to turn them off with "desperation" if you made any of the moves.

[NewJeffCT]

13. I've been pretty oblivious in the past as well

I was in college and a young woman that I had liked quite a bit also had a little too much to drink. In the middle of the hallway at 2 or 3am, she pulled up her shirt for me, revealing she had no bra or anything else on underneath. Since she was a little inebriated, I didn't want to take advantage of her, so nothing happened beyond my eyes popping out and my jaw dropping. Turns out, I later found out, she liked me as well, but knew I was a bit shy, so had a few drinks to gather her courage to make the move on me. Since I didn't immediately respond to her advances, she thought I was not interested or didn't like her.

(This was back in the late 80s where women coming on to men was not as common as it is today)

[progressoid]

14. Heh. I recognize some of those actions.

But #20 seems reasonable to me.

"because the music sucks."

[Scuba]

17. Haha. My best friend was at work and got a note handed to him from a lady ....

The note said "I've been flirting with you for two weeks. Call this number if interested. Otherwise I'm done."


He'd never noticed the flirting. They've now been together about six years.