Put on your big-girl panties and deal with it: Sexist? Homophobic to a male?

[ronnykmarshall]

I altered a post against myself and one fine member of the jury said the above comment to not hide the comment.

How do you guys feel about that remark in general. I think it's insulting.

[mackerel]

1. I dunno, have you seen my big girl panties?

[ronnykmarshall]

2. you are not well!

[Chan790]

3. Might depend on context...but I'd say generally "Yes" on both sexism and homophobia. n/t

[mythology]

4. It depends on the context

In real life with friends I feel okay using put on your big boy/girl underwear as appropriate. I usually don't use panties as I've never really understood why we differentiate between men and women's underwear.

I wouldn't use it at DU as there isn't the additional non-verbal information like inflection or so forth and posts remain long after the moment.

Likewise I wouldn't say it at work because it's not professional and if said in front of somebody who could take offense, it would cause me problems. in that context I think it at the very least comes to close to the line of being sexist for my comfort.

[Lil Missy]

5. you can alert on the juror.

[ronnykmarshall]

8. I posted it on the Ask the Admins page

I don't know how to alert on a juror

[Lil Missy]

12. If you have a post hidden, or serve on a jury, there's an option (link)

on the results page in the lower left corner that says "alert abuse". Click on that.

[MosheFeingold]

6. I personally wouldn't care

I can't say I've used the "Put on your big [girl/boy] [panties/underwear]" expression, but it's clear it means to grow up/toughen up on an issue.

In some contexts, it's fine. In others, no. Insulting? Sure, albeit mildly. It's the internet. People are rude. So I would tell you to let it go.

I don't see anything particularly sexist or homophobic about the expression, unless intentionally twisting something around (e.g., telling a gay may to put his "big girl panties on&quot .

It's the equivalent of the expression in Mexico (also China) of calling people "strawberries" -- that is, emotionally tender and bruise easily, little too pretty/made up for hard work.

[femmocrat]

7. I probably wouldn't vote to hide it unless it was meant as a personal attack.

Last edited Mon Oct 12, 2015, 01:24 PM - Edit history (1)

Yes, it would be homophobic if said to a man.

A few years ago, I was treated unfairly at work.... and I said that remark to myself whenever I was on the verge of a self-pity party. On the offensiveness "scale", I think it ranks pretty low in that context.

[progressoid]

9. Why is it "panties"?

I'm not familiar with the saying. But I have heard "put on your big boy pants".

Interesting that for females it's panties and for males it's pants.

[Throd]

10. In and of itself, no. But I can think of situations that would make it offensive.

[closeupready]

11. If directed at a male, it's odd on a lot of levels.

But the underlying idea (that adult females can't cry and baby talk their way through life, as some do) is what the expression means, I think.