Christian Bride Passes Traditional Daddy Vag Inspection Before Wedding

[niyad]

Christian Bride Passes Traditional Daddy Vag Inspection Before Wedding (the logical next step after purity balls--ewwwwwww)

(I am not posting the pic here, don't want to get anyone in trouble, but you HAVE to see it)


WEIRD GROSS BAD!
Christian Bride Passes Traditional Daddy Vag Inspection Before Wedding




Weddings are the toughest, amirite, ladies? But they are the most magical day in a girl’s life, if you can just make everything Just So in preparation for your big day. STEP ONE: Find a man whose walk with the Lord is strong like yours! STEP TWO: Say OMG YES! when he asks you to be his Christian bride. STEP THREE: So many preparations! You have to pick out the dress and the flowers and the invitations and make the guest list and your bridesmaids are like “DON’T BE SUCH A BRIDEZILLA, TIFFANY” and (phew!) you needed that because really, is it that important what color the napkins were? Gah, Tiffany. STEP FOUR: Be grateful your girls have your back because #sisterhood.

Most girls forget this one, but it’s the most important one, so STEP FIVE: Go to the doctor and get him to check under the hood to verify that no man-penis has entered there, and then get him to write your dad a love note about how nice and intact a pussy you still have!
What? You didn’t do that? WELL ENJOY HELL, LADIES, because according to the New York Post, a lady named Brelyn Bowman did that, and she couldn’t be happier about her dad’s reaction to her pre-nuptial vag exam:

Brelyn Bowman wanted to show her dad, a prominent pastor in Maryland, that she was still a virgin before she said “I do” to her longtime boy toy at a lavish ceremony Oct. 10 that included more than 3,500 people.
To make her innocence official, Bowman took matters into her own hands.
“I was able to present a certificate of purity to [my dad] signed by my doctor that my hymen was still intact,” Bowman wrote on her Instagram page along with a photo of her first dance with her old man at the wedding.

“If one person has made a decision to wait until marriage or decide to stop & wait we have done our job,” she wrote on another photo. “Let’s make Jesus famous!”

. . . .


Read more at http://wonkette.com/595207/christian-bride-passes-traditional-daddy-vag-inspection-before-wedding#bioTpcBucz7vXoeW.99

[pinboy3niner]

1. “Let’s make Jesus famous!”

That kind of reveals a lot about her, doesn't it?

[RandySF]

2. WTF?

[niyad]

3. and think about the OP about the guy saying not to look at your wife during sex.

that is one serious bunch of sickos.

[pinboy3niner]

4. I saw that thread title and didn't even open it

There seem to be a lot of people who live an a very different planet.

[LiberalElite]

5. Somewhere, I'm sure, Jesus is doing this -

[BlueJazz]

6. Frankly, there's something a little strange about this whole wedding.

Yeah, I'm gonna' catch hell for this one.

[niyad]

8. you nearly owed me a keyboard

[Liberal_in_LA]

7. ewwwww

[niyad]

9. . . .

[a la izquierda]

10. I want off this planet.

I can't take any more of these fucking lunatics.

[malthaussen]

11. Which "tradition" would that be?

I'm tolerably conversant with social history, especially of Britain and America, and I can call to mind no such "tradition." In fact, as a casual examination of parish registers would indicate to one inclined to view them, there was a high incidence of 8-month babies. It has been speculated (by Peter Laslett, among others) that the "tradition," in fact, was to "try out" the prospective bride (not necessarily with her consent, either) before marriage to ensure that she was not barren. Which is not, of course, anything to be proud of, but is certainly quite contrary to the "tradition" asserted by this article.

We'll ignore, for the nonce, the tradition of Primae Noctis, both because it is probably more apocryphal than otherwise (it is, however, attested in some regions), and because it is supposed that it was in reality just another way to squeeze the peasants for a little cash, and not usually practiced in the literal sense.

-- Mal

[niyad]

20. it is, apparently, a very strange and recent "tradition"!!

and I doubt that those cretins have ever heard of Primae Noctis (certainly could not spell it!) although there are some ministers. . . .

[KamaAina]

12. I put that in GD a week ago.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10027275333

[niyad]

21. I missed that, but thanks--loved the comments to your post.

[benld74]

13. I knew a girl who broke hers on a beam DURING a gymnastics competition,,,,,

[csziggy]

14. It used to be thought that young women should not ride astride

Horses, that is, but that they should ride side saddle to prevent "broken" hymens.

My first period was when my family was on a trip to rural Mississippi and began on a Sunday morning. of course, no stores were open and the only supplies my Mom and my older sisters had were tampons. Mom agonized over whether I should use a tampon since it would "violate" my interior lady parts. (Whether or not my older sisters should have been using tampons was a whole other discussion.)

In the end cleanliness and sanity won over purity "standards" though once we got to civilization Mom forced me to use those old fashioned pads for years. It didn't matter that I was on horseback every chance I got and no stupid side saddle for me!

[Ineeda]

15. What? No inspection of

mouth, butt, or hands? No lie detector test? Truth serum? Or whatever. The nuts will be forever nutty.

[mythology]

16. I want to say something

But I have no idea what it is. Who in the fuck thinks this sort of thing is a good idea? I mean how screwed up in the head is she that she thought this was something special. And why her husband didn't just run for the hills is beyond me.

If a couple decides that they want to wait until marriage, okay go for it. I think it's strange, but it can be their choice. But wanting to share that choice, and the proof of it with your entire guest list is more than a little creepy.

[rurallib]

17. Christian vag exam not official unless signed by Jesus

he is everywhere and knows all, so no problem doing a checkup.

[smirkymonkey]

18. Ewww! So creepy.

If my father ever had any interest in anything like that, I would have disowned myself. Of course, he never would. He's not an effing psycho.

[3catwoman3]

19. I was reading the Wonkette...

...comments late last night, and laughing so hard I could barely breathe.

[niyad]

22. the comments are most definitely worth the read--but, be warned, NO eating or drinking while reading

[blue neen]

23. I wonder what the doctor used as a Diagnosis Code?!?!

....just picturing the Insurance Claims Processor now...

[niyad]

24. that would be amusing

[Blue_Tires]

25. What would that prove?

For all we know, she could have just been letting dudes PIITB all this time

[liberal N proud]

26. There are some things I don't need to know and my daughters sex life is one of them

I would be embarrassed if one of my daughters felt like they had to do this.

[niyad]

27. but then, you probably didn't insist that they pledge their virginity to you at one of those icky

"purity balls", either.

these people are, to say the least, twisted, warped and repressed beyond belief.

[liberal N proud]

29. Those things are weird.

[niyad]

28. . . .