Baby Jesus Stolen From Church Nativity Scene Near Crystal City

[mahatmakanejeeves]

No, I'm not saying this is a funny or good thing to do. What caught my eye was the likeness of the baby Jesus: a blue-eyed blond.

Baby Jesus Stolen From Church Nativity Scene Near Crystal City

by ARLnow.com — January 4, 2016 at 5:15 pm

A church near Crystal City is praying for the return of Christ, after a porcelain figure of the baby Jesus was stolen from its nativity scene over the weekend.

Baby Jesus was stolen from outside Calvary United Methodist Church (2315 S. Grant Street), in the Aurora Highlands neighborhood, sometime between 8 p.m. Saturday and the next morning, when parishioners showed up for Sunday worship services.

Police were called and took a report Monday, though hopes of cops catching the perpetrator are low. Rev. Matthew G. Smith said he’s hoping the thief has a change of heart and repents — by returning the Son of God to his rightful place in the manger, at least until the nativity scene is brought inside next weekend. Alternatively, the little Lord could also be left on the front steps of the church or brought, in person, to the front office.

[hedgehog]

1. It's the traditional figure in European Nativities.

Where else do you see a new born with a full head of hair?

[LanternWaste]

4. Maternity wards...

"Where else do you see a new born with a full head of hair?"

Maternity wards... many babies maintain lanugo for up to three months after birth.

[hedgehog]

5. I don't think you can compare lanugo to the lush, Trumpesque hair on the

figure in the OP.

[Pharlo]

2. I have no idea why anyone would abduct the Baby Jesus. Now, if it had been the Virgin Mary...

... Little Johnny wanted a bike for Christmas. He really, Really, REALLY wanted a bike. He told everyone he could think of - his mother, his father, aunts, uncles, both sets of grandparents - everyone. He was not quite certain if there was really a Santa Claus - he'd heard rumors, but his parents kept telling him to ask Santa. So, just to be certain, little Johnny sat down to write a letter to Santa:

"Dear Santa, I was a very good boy this year..." He stopped, thought a minute and remembered that Santa knows if you've been good or bad, so he ripped the sheet off his pad and began again -

"Dear Santa, I was a good boy this year..." Once again, he stops, thinks, rips off the page, throws it away and tries again...

"Dear Santa, I was a pretty good boy this year..." At this point, little Johnny is frustrated and throws his pad of paper across the room. He thinks a minute, runs outside to the church at the corner. There, Johnny grabs the Virgin Mary from the Nativity Set and runs home with the statuette. He sneaks the Virgin Mary into his bedroom, shoves her under the bed, picks up his notebook and starts a new letter...

"Dear God, if you EVER want to see your mother again..."

[Bucky]

6. !!

I love that one!

[BlueJazz]

3. I'm sure you realize you're going straight to hell for that one.

[Arkytior]

7. Maybe a kid....

wanted to give baby Jesus a ride in their new wagon.

[SwankyXomb]

8. 2016 Joe Friday

would shoot the kid anyway.

[mrmpa]

9. An old Dragnet show..........

Sgt. Friday & his partner are called out to a Church in an Hispanic neighborhood to investigate the theft of Jesus from the manger on Christmas Eve. The lead follows to a derelict, who has an alibi and by midnight their leads are exhausted. They return to the Church on Christmas morning to give the bad news to the Priest. As they're talking outside the Church they watch as a young boy about 7 pulling a red wagon with the figure of Jesus in it. They watch as the kid puts Jesus back into the Manger.

Sgt. Friday, asks "son why did you take him?" The kid responds "I prayed to him for a red wagon & promised him if I got one, he would get the first ride in the wagon."

The accents used by the Priest and the kid were terrible.

[mahatmakanejeeves]

10. I've seen that one.

Dragnet 1967: Season 2, Episode 15, The Christmas Story (21 Dec. 1967)

[mrmpa]

11. I listened to it on satellite radio..........

during Christmas week. Channel 148.

[kentuck]

12. Baby Jesus...

Michael Moore sent this out on his Facebook: