The DU Lounge

closeupready

(29,503 posts) Fri Jul 1, 2016, 11:47 AM Jul 2016

Etiquette question re: paying the bill when meeting friends from out-of-town

I'm meeting a couple friends, both of whom are from out of town, here on vacation - they asked me to meet each of them (separately) for a bite to eat and chat ...

Am I expected to pay? Is my friend expected to offer to pay? I'm never really sure how these matters are supposed to unfold.

I know in sales, you are supposed to wait for 3 'no's before moving on to another potential sale. Is it the same thing here - they offer to pay for me, I say no, they insist, and I concede?

6 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

Etiquette question re: paying the bill when meeting friends from out-of-town (Original Post) closeupready Jul 2016 OP

If they invited you ... GeorgeGist Jul 2016 #1

That's the way I always look at it Major Nikon Jul 2016 #2

Thanks - that's sort of what I thought. closeupready Jul 2016 #3

I'd say no expectations at all. elleng Jul 2016 #4

First one out the door doesn't pay the bill whistler162 Jul 2016 #5

How explicit was the 'invitation'? trof Jul 2016 #6

GeorgeGist

(25,320 posts)

1. If they invited you ...

Reply to closeupready (Original post)

Fri Jul 1, 2016, 12:17 PM

Jul 2016

they should pay.

Major Nikon

(36,827 posts)

2. That's the way I always look at it

Reply to GeorgeGist (Reply #1)

Fri Jul 1, 2016, 01:18 PM

Jul 2016

It's good form to pick up the tip, but it shouldn't be expected.

closeupready

(29,503 posts)

3. Thanks - that's sort of what I thought.

Reply to GeorgeGist (Reply #1)

Fri Jul 1, 2016, 02:56 PM

Jul 2016

elleng

(130,895 posts)

4. I'd say no expectations at all.

Reply to closeupready (Original post)

Fri Jul 1, 2016, 04:12 PM

Jul 2016

'Friendships' don't work as relations do in business/sales, imo.

My Dad and his best friend always fought over who was paying, not 'No, it's YOUR chance,' but 'I'll pay!'

Enjoy!

whistler162

(11,155 posts)

5. First one out the door doesn't pay the bill

Reply to closeupready (Original post)

Fri Jul 1, 2016, 04:44 PM

Jul 2016

trof

(54,256 posts)

6. How explicit was the 'invitation'?

Reply to closeupready (Original post)

Fri Jul 1, 2016, 05:43 PM

Jul 2016

If it was "Let's have lunch." then it's Dutch.
Ask for two tabs.
If they said "I'd like to take you to lunch" or "Be my guest at lunch" then they're paying.

Don't obsess about it.
Just tell your server "Two checks, please."
If your friend insists on paying, let him.

Reply to this discussion