So, alcoholic baby brother escapes from rehab, calls your 92 Yo mother. Now what?

[Xipe Totec]

Wants her to look after him.

What would you do?

[elleng]

1. If close, geographically,

intervene PHYSICALLY. (Not with violence, but with presence.) If not close geographically, dunno.

[Xipe Totec]

2. He's in Austin

Closest brother is in San Antonio.

And that's not me.

Oh, did I mention he's 46?

So baby brother is a figure of speech.

[TexasBushwhacker]

14. Is the brother in San Antonio trustworthy?

I would let him get a financial POA and take care of all of her finances, pay her bills, etc. She could even order her groceries online and have them delivered. Check out Instacart.com. He could give her a small allowance for incidentals, maybe $20 per week.

I would hope she's not still driving, so if she has a car, it should be sold. Black Sheep Bro will either wreck it or sell it. If BS Bro intends to use the vehicle to find work or take her to medical appointments, your SA bro should keep the title. Any precious things, jewelry, etc. should be kept at your SA brothers house.

Check these websites. You might be able to get her some assistance.

http://www.dads.state.tx.us

http://www.elderoptionsoftexas.com/senior-assistance-programs.htm

https://yourtexasbenefits.hhsc.texas.gov

Good luck!

[Xipe Totec]

15. The POA is already taken care of

My sister handles all the finances; she has a signed POA. There's no way my brother can get any money out of mom without going through one of us first. Thanks for the concern though.

It's more an issue of emotional blackmail and anguishing an elderly mother.

[TexasBushwhacker]

16. Well, does he know he can't get money out of her?

If not, when he finds out, he may not stay long.

[Scruffy Rumbler]

3. Check with adult protective services in your area and HER area.

From personal experience, the sooner someone steps in, the safer your mother will be. She does not need this drama in her life (neither do you!).
Call them (adult protective services) and do not allow your brother alone with her. Certain members of my family took over my mother's affairs. When they were done, she was $3,000.00 in debt and her savings account emptied.

The level of your mother's cognitive skills will determine how much intervention can be done.

Again, Call Adult protective services! They can help!

Peace,
Scruffy

[Xipe Totec]

4. Good advice. Thanks. I mean that sincerely. nt

[Scruffy Rumbler]

5. I have been where you are about to enter.

My mother passed away 2 years ago come August. I am still dealing with final financial reports for her estate. My sister and I petitioned the court for guardianship of my mother. She had Alzheimer's disease and 4 of my siblings thought that gave them cart blanch to run ruff shod over her life in all aspects from social to financial and to her personal care and well being.

Have strength and work with any siblings you can. Those that want to fight... send 'em packing.

Sorry to be blunt. My family pulled every dirty trick and then some to make my mother's last 4 years hell for her and for my sister and me. Physical assault, perjury, eviction!!! of their 76 year old mother!

Anytime I see someone asking questions like your OP, I am conscious bound to send them to Adult Protective services.They were the people to let me know if I should worry (yes!) and gave me the leads I needed to contact for help.

Best of luck. This time should be the most peaceful and loving for our mom's but some assholes won't let that happen.

[Skittles]

10. sometimes family is WAY overrated

my family was never particularly close but we'd NEVER treat each other or our mum in this way but I see it time and time again

[whistler162]

6. How is your mother physically and mentally?

a feisty kinda person or someone who is easily lead or swayed.

If she is feisty you best see what she wants to do before stepping in it. If easily lead talk to her and try and convince her that the best thing might be to not help her youngest.

My cousins husbands father supported his daughter financially after her husband died suddenly and she descended into drugs and alcohol. Financially and emotionally it did a lot of damage.

[KMOD]

7. If he is a danger to your mom

please look into getting a restraining order.

[Xipe Totec]

8. Good advice. He's not a physical threat to her

Because I am here, and he is not, and he would never harm her physically.

But he is infinitely capable of manipulating her emotionally.

There is nothing my mother would not do for her children.

And he knows it.

[KMOD]

9. I think you can get one for financial abuse as well, if need be.

I hope you can get your brother the help he needs, and protect your mom from your brother potentially taking advantage of her as well.

And yes, most mom's would walk through fire to help their children. I'm sending your entire family best wishes, love, peace and comfort.

[hibbing]

11. Who has POA?

I would be sure whatever finances she has are secure.


Peace

[panader0]

12. Off topic a bit--but she was 46 when he was born?!

My mom was 42 and I thought that a bit old. I myself was 41 when my first was
born. So from 1908 (my mom's b-day) to 1991 (my daughter's b-day) is 83 years
and only 2 generations. On my ex-wife's side that would have been four.

Hope all is good with your brother and your mom.
I think the advice about power of attorney is good.

[Xipe Totec]

13. Last of six. Catholic accident. nt