I've been chatting with a coworker on and off for about five years

[Orrex]

He's in a different department, but I see him maybe a dozen times each week, and I have absolutely no idea what his name is.

None. It's about four years, 11 7/8 months too late to ask.

[Sanity Claws]

1. Can you ask him his title?

Then look him by his title in an intraoffice directory?

[Orrex]

2. That's not a bad idea.

Beats my original plan of following him to his office, knocking him unconscious and rummaging through his mail.

[Wounded Bear]

3. Yeah, kind of dicey...

too many cell phone cameras out there.

On the flip side, you'd get some bodacious numbers of hits, maybe.

[A HERETIC I AM]

16. I vote the knockout thing. Why not have some fun at work, I always say. N/t

[athena]

4. Does he know your name?

If he never says your name, he probably doesn't know yours either. You could make things much less awkward for everyone by just coming out and introducing yourself and asking him his name.

[Orrex]

5. Yes, he does.

And, like a jerk, he greets me by name every time. He even sounds friendly about it, the big jerk!

[rurallib]

6. is there any kind of a roser of employees with pictures you can access?

Or can you ask someone else if they know his name?

When all else fails, ask him and admit your situation.

I have trouble recognizing people I haven't seen for a while. So if I can't recognize them, I swallow my pride and ask.

[Orrex]

8. That's probably what I'll wind up doing

I have trouble recognizing people I haven't seen for a while. So if I can't recognize them, I swallow my pride and ask.

I can see that, but I don't think it'll work here, since technically I haven't quite failed to recognize him!

[LongTomH]

10. Do you mean 'roster of employees?'

[rurallib]

11. yeah - just saw I had a typo

[eppur_se_muova]

7. Pretend to have a "senior moment", say you've just totally blanked on his name ... nt

[Orrex]

9. I like it!

I might take it a step further and pretend to have forgotten him altogether!

[lastlib]

18. ...or "accidentally" call him, say, "George", as if you've absent-mindedly forgotten his actual name

....


Or maybe have him sign something, and hope he writes more legibly than a doctor......

[Generic Brad]

12. Clearly it is time for a new job

If you are unwilling to relocate then you should sabotage him so he is forced to leave. It's either him or you.

That second option could be sticky wicket since you don't actually know his name. Maybe you should find that out first.

[noamnety]

13. Can you trip in front of him and fake a concussion?

Then short term amnesia becomes believable.

[Enrique]

14. just call him Dude

or better yet, Chief.

[KMOD]

15. Just tell him

Hey, you know what? You remind me of my old friend Jimmy. From now on I'm going to call you Jimmy."

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

17. I've been waiting all day for a certain someone...

...to stop by and offer you some ass-kicking services for this inconsiderate lout.

[lastlib]

19. Skittles! I think you're being summoned....!

[pinboy3niner]

20. .

[Yonnie3]

21. Names aren't as important as other stuff.

For example. We had a production manager who could greet over 100 people by name. He was the worst manager we ever hired.

One morning, when I was supposed to be on bereavement leave and had been called in for a crisis, Manager says to me in the hall, "Good morning. How are you, Yonnie?" I respond with "terrible, my mother died Monday." Manager says "that's good" and proceeds down the hall without missing a step.

He didn't last long there.

- also -

"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet"

"Call me anything you want, just don’t call me late to dinner."

Names just aren't important.