A craft show annoyance

[Orrex]

My wife and I have an Etsy shop through which she sells her magnificent artwork, while I peddle chainmail odds and ends. It's not retirement money, but it helps with the bills, etc.

A couple of times a year we do craft shows, usually with a "spooky" or "horror" vibe, given the nature of her style.

Invariably, I get a few knuckleheads who park in (or right in front of) our booth and proceed to tell me all about chainmail, as if I don't have a whole table full of the stuff on display.

They'll tell me at length about their friend who makes chainmail, or the piece that they themselves have been working on, etc.

I'm good at expressing polite, tolerant interest, but it annoys the crap out of me because I know from experience that they're not going to buy anything. Also, their placement is likely interfering with other potential customers' ability to see what I'm offering, so I have zero incentive to humor them.

Further, at the risk of self-congratulation, I've been doing this for a quarter century, so it's rare that someone will tell me something that I don't already know about the craft.

"Did you know that people used to wear this as armor?" they'll ask.

Or "You can make this faster by coiling your wire around a rod."

Or "That's 18 gauge? You can get a tighter weave by using 16 gauge."

No shit, random passerby. Thanks for your input.

[ret5hd]

1. A perfect reply to them:

[Orrex]

2. I should print that for future use.

[mopinko]

3. art fairs nearly killed me.

damn i hated them.

i used to make political buttons. i sold a fair number at the fairs i took them to. but damn, i am making a $3 sale, but i have to have a 20 minute political conversation w every damn customer.
some people i shared a booth w were jealous that i was selling all day and they sold little or nothing. when i counted up the dollar bills i usually had less than they did, as long as they sold 2 coffee cups.
and did i sell ANY of the art pieces i had there?
zip, nada, nothing.

the flip side is the people who would say- oh, i always wanted to do ceramics.
then they spend a half and hour picking your brain about the process. you want to shake them and say- i went to college for this shit. if you really want to know, i can refer you to a bunch of good schools. otherwise, no, i am not gonna stand here and educate you for free.

[Orrex]

4. Absolutely spot on.

Certainly I didn't study "chainmail" in college, but I don't want to give a real-time tutorial, either! Usually I'll say "well, you take one ring and join it to another, and repeat until finished."

Then I'll direct them to any of the dozens of how-to sites online of the hundreds of YouTube videos on the subject.

It's a business venue, after all, and I've paid a fee to be there, so I don't feel any obligation to nod and smile while a non-customer is standing there wasting my time.

And it's never a matter of "well, they might buy something," because by now I know the type, and they never[b/] buy something.

[mopinko]

5. never ever.

you are spot on, too.

and those fees aint cheap.

[SwankyXomb]

10. Make a sign for the next show

"Chain mail tutorial $300/hour"

Any time someone does this to you, point to the sign.

[displacedtexan]

26. Advertise a 3:00pm Chainmail Q&A...

Or a mini demonstration.

My brother did this with his jewelry booth, and it's worked really well.

Good luck!

[pinboy3niner]

6. Don't worry

It's only a flesh wound.

[Orrex]

13. Hardy har har, you fink.

I don't hear too many Python references at these shows, but once or twice I've had people "inform" me that movies have often used printed fabric or specially woven wool to simulate chainmail at lower cost.

Do tell, random passerby. Do tell.

[A HERETIC I AM]

21. "Tis but a scratch"

I've had worse

YOU LIAR!

Come on, ya pansy!

[IcyPeas]

7. cell phone

do what the celebrities do when they are approached by paparazzi. pretend you have to take a call and politely turn away.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

8. I hate chain mail ...

... it's just some dumb message, and at the end it tells you to send it to twenty friends. As if I would bother them.

Of course, if all goes well, I'll have riches beyond my wildest lottery fantasies. So maybe chain mail is not so bad.

I just never knew where chain mail originated. Now I do. Keep up the good work.


By the way, you can make looser, more ventilated chain mail by coiling your wire around a random passerby's head.

[pinboy3niner]

9. Thread winner!

[duncang]

11. Keep trying to get my wife to learn wire wrap.

I collect rocks, crystals etc. and also make cabochons with some. Thought about doing the same thing and selling them.


Side note the experts are everywhere. I shoot black powder guns. I can be shooting my 54 caliber black powder hawkins rifle at a range and have people walk up to tell me people used to shoot those a long time ago.

[Orrex]

14. I've done some *very* simple wire wrap

I find the craft quite impressive when done well--maybe someday I'll be able to do it well, too!

Definitely right about the experts. Many years ago I made a "parrying gauntlet, essentially a fine-linked chain glove used for blocking sword strikes in fencing. The big innovation was that I designed fully articulated fingers and thumb, and I won a competition for the achievement, with one experienced judge saying "I'd never seen anything like that before." Suffice it to say that it was something of an innovation.

The very next day another attendee at that event checked out the glove and immediately said "what you should have done was..."

Thanks Mr. Expert.

[madamesilverspurs]

15. Was a time I enjoyed doing craft shows.

Spent about 30 years doing lampwork (the glass-making that's in every mall over the holidays). I learned the hard way that doing demonstrations worked against me; instead of buying something, people would stand there and watch, leaving after getting some free entertainment. Sometimes I'd leave a small flame going on the torch, that alone was sufficient to draw people. And if someone asked if I was going to make something, I'd answer in the affirmative and then reach into my bag of marshmallows and roast one, adding it to a graham cracker and square of chocolate.

Also, above the work station I hung a small sign that read something like:

1. 25 years
2. California
3. 2200 F
4. Yes

In response to routine questions, I'd answer "Number 3" or whichever was appropriate. I didn't always have the sign up, depended totally on the crowd. And kids were always the best audience, loved doing demos for them.

Had to quit that work years ago, I still miss it!


.

[panader0]

16. I'm curious...what do people do with the chain mail?

Is it for medieval reenactments? I can't see me needing any soon.
No offense intended, I just can't see the application.

[Orrex]

17. I've made a good bit of armor, but...

For these shows I do chainmail jewelry and accessories (juggling balls, coin purses, etc.)

No one at craft shows buys full chainmail armor off the rack because it's expensive, heavy, and unlikely to fit a random shopper. Sometimes I wear a chain shirt as a conversation starter, but I use it to answer the perennial favorite question "how did you get started?"


You can see our stuff at the link in my sig, if you're interested.

[panader0]

18. Wow! You and Babushka. I've been to the site before

and I really like the work. Cool.
How did you get started?

[Phentex]

22. speaking of MGB...

Where are her threads? I loved them and learned so much. So interesting!

[Orrex]

24. She's been working on other things lately

But I'll let her know that you asked about her.

[demmiblue]

19. OT: I have viewed your store several times...

I think it would be helpful if you had pics of your bracelets on an actual arm. There are a couple of your bracelets that I really like, but I don't know if they would too big for my wrists (not length-wise, but appearance-wise).

Also, your wife's embroidery is wonderful. If I had the money, I would buy several of her pillows! This one is my favorite (the sea monster is a close second):

[Orrex]

20. Thanks for the kind words--I love her needlework!

She's prolific and tireless in creating her art, and I'm happy to be able to support her.

As for the actual arm pics, I've tried a few experimental shots, but I have real trouble getting consistent color quality. The same bracelet in two immediately successive shots under unchanging light will yield two entirely different pictures, one that looks like it was shot through a glass of piss, and another that appears to have been taken through dense fog.

Might be the camera, but we're not in a position to buy a better one just now, alas.

[lunatica]

23. You should just walk over to another place and they'll follow you so they won't be in front of your

shop. Or tell them that if they move to one side others can see the merchandise which they will buy.

[Codeine]

25. Your wife does really beautiful work. nt

[Orrex]

28. Thanks--I find her most impressive!

I love to watch her paint, and her needlework is a wonder to behold.

[Orrex]

27. Was reminded of another annoyance at a show yesterday

My wife and I used to bring our two small sons to these events, and they behaved commendably well, amusing themselves in our booth and keeping quiet, not creating a disturbance. We no longer bring them because we knew that they really didn't enjoy these craft fairs, and I can run the booth solo.

Having successfully corralled our boys at previous events, I have zero patience for other vendor-parents who can't do the same. Case in point, a seven-ish year old boy reappeared in my booth about five times yesterday, touching literally every item on display and asking questions about literally every one of them--and I do mean literally.

"How much does this cost?"
"How many rings is this?"
"How long did it take to make this?"
"Why is this one so heavy?"
"Why is this one so light?"
"How did you make this one?"
"Can you teach me to make these?"
"What are these for?"
"They're jugging balls? Can you teach me to juggle?"
"Did you paint these?"
"Your wife painted them? Where is she?"
"How did she paint them?"
"What's this painting about?" x30

and on and on. Each visit lasted at least 20 minutes, and he was utterly impervious to my efforts to get him to leave: "Maybe you should go back to your tent." "It's okay, my mom knows I'm here." Even telling him point-blank to leave was unsuccessful.

Understand that there was zero incentive for me to humor or entertain him: he sure as shit wasn't going to buy anything, and the one time that his mother showed up at my tent, it was to make sure that he was "okay," and she sure as shit wasn't going to buy anything either.

I can't say for sure that he cost me any sales, but he certainly disrupted my ability to interact with customers who might otherwise have purchased something.

Who the fuck does that? Who the fuck unleashes their children into another person's place of business with no consideration or concern?

[Codeine]

29. A friend of mine runs a game store.

You'd be amazed how many people treat his store as a free babysitting station, dropping off their tweens for an hour or two while they shop elsewhere and the kids thumb through every book and examine every game on the shelves before digging through the single game cards for the umpteenth time. The bravest ones will usually manage to swipe a few items, because Mom sure as hell didn't give them any money before sending them in.

Basically the kids get to preview everything that Mom will later order for them on Amazon.