My wife just told me I'm too disgusting to be a woman.

[rug]

[WhiteTara]

1. Consider it an insult.

At least she didn't call you a republican!

[rug]

3. I think it's sexist.

I wiped spaghetti sauce off my face and wiped it on my shirt. As if no woman ever did that.

[jberryhill]

6. Invite me over for dinner

I assure you that after an evening with me as your guest, your wife will consider you the height of sophistication.

[rug]

7. Bring the beer! I'll break out the fart timer.

[3catwoman3]

33. It has been my observation over many years...

...that, no matter how old they get, the male of the species still finds body noises and bodily fluids hysterically funny.

We women would rather keep all that under wraps

[rug]

34. You may have a point.

[Ghost Dog]

2. Are you a woman, rug?

If not, she's maybe not wrong. Same would apply, from a certain point of view, to all us guys...

[rug]

4. Not yet. And now, apparently, I never can be.

[Ghost Dog]

8. Ok. Sense of humour is good.

Time cures all ills.

[Wounded Bear]

44. I thought it was "Time wounds all heels"...

[Ghost Dog]

46. Good one

[Rollo]

5. I don't know you, Rug, but I'm inclined to agree with your wife...

Most men ARE too disgusting to be women. I say this as a natural born male. I'm not too disgusting to be a man, but... I'd really have to change a lot of behavior to pass as a lady. Not that I want to.

But you might try to surprise your wife and show her how non-disgusting you can be. Get all prim and proper. I figure it won't take her long to beg you to go back to your old disgusting manners.

[rug]

9. I shall embrace my disgustingness!

You should be a life coach.

[Ptah]

10. Don't let her walk all over you, rug.

[rug]

12. I don't think she would unless she wore army boots and four pair of socks.

[rug]

13. PS, she just explained your joke to me.

This isn't helping.

[Doodley]

11. Men are, compared to women!

[rug]

14. I will stand for the right of any woman to be as disgusting as a man.

[samnsara]

15. lol...and are you?

[rug]

16. I dunno. I've seen some pretty disgusting women.

But it may just have been the meth.

[yallerdawg]

17. Tell her it's all about how you feel!

[rug]

18. Well, I don't see any spaghetti sauce on Shania.

[NNadir]

19. My wife didn't have to tell me. I already knew it, but she loves me anyway. n/t

[rug]

20. Lucky you. It's not like she stepped into a puddle in front of the toilet bowl.

Again.

[still_one]

21. What did you do to piss her off?

[rug]

22. I wiped spaghetti sauce on my shirt. But I think it's been building.

[still_one]

23. It's always the little things. LOL. You are going to have to clean the shirt yourself obviously

[rug]

24. Meh, I'll get a new one at Walmart.

[still_one]

25. ...........................................................................................

[redwitch]

26. You probably put cornflakes on your chicken.

[Ron Obvious]

27. It's the beard.

Somehow I always picture posters to resemble their avatars.

[rug]

29. As a matter of fact, i wiped the spaghetti sauce off my beard and on to my shirt.

Geez, the shirt was going to get cleaned or thrown out anyway.

[True Dough]

35. Your beard?

So you resemble your avatar to some degree? Do you think you'd be a bearded lady?

[rug]

36. Now that you mention it, I have a passing resemblance to a homeless Marx.

[True Dough]

38. As long as it

doesn't make you Groucho...

[NightWatcher]

28. Have you ever seen a women's restroom at a highway rest stop?

I hope you're not THAT disgusting.

[rug]

30. Exactly!

Thank you for understanding.

[jberryhill]

31. Why are you hanging out in women's restrooms?

[rug]

32. Community service.

Who do you think cleans those hellholes?

[True Dough]

37. True story

When my wife and I were dating and went to a restaurant the first time, we sat in the car for about 20 minutes afterwards, not making out, but discussing the way I held utensils, which forever became known as "the caveman grip."

My etiquette is generally acceptable in most ways but I thought for a while that that "crisis" might have marked the end of our budding relationship.

The compromise we reached was that I'd alter the way I held utensils when we're out for dinner or if we had company, and otherwise I'm free to use "the caveman grip".

BURP!!!

[rug]

39. Sell-out!

[True Dough]

40. Sorry to let you down

By the way, there's uh, there's still a piece of spaghetti...

[rug]

41. !

Bt whoever that is is too well-groomed.

Next time I'ss change my technique.

[Kaleva]

42. Sulfur farts in the bed again?

[

[rug]

43. I'm allergic to tomatoes. She doesn't understand.

[BreweryYardRat]

45. Has she never shared a bathroom with other women?

For a while when I was younger, I lived with an ex-girlfriend, two other women, and a gay man. Leaving the toilet seat up was the grossest thing we two men ever did.

But oh, dear gods, the state those women left that bathroom in...

Tampon-choked trash cans. Toilet paper in the toilet because they'd wipe after peeing and forget to flush. My ex's hip-length hair choking the shower drain.

The crowning moment of trauma, however, came one hungover morning, when I walked in to take a piss, and found a huge clot of semi-congealed menstrual blood stuck to the inside of the toilet bowl.

For about a minute, I thought someone had had a damn miscarriage in the toilet.

And for some reason, I got stuck cleaning the atrocious offense to sanity up when it was STILL STUCK THERE after a DAMN WEEK.

[rug]

47. I feel your pain.

I still have two daughters at home.