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Fri May 5, 2017, 07:21 AM

Question about life insurance for a friend

Here's the deal. I have known her since middle school. My wife has known here since we got married 40 + years ago. She is 70 years old and in bad health. Had cancer and it seems to be in remission. Massive bone loss, drinks, smoker since she was young, uses a walker and wheel chair. She has a house which is upside down on the loan. Doesn't have any close family she can rely on. Closest is a sister in law. Her husband died ~10 years back. On SS, medicare, medicaid.

We have been helping her out since her husband died. Bringing her to doctor appointments, doing repairs on her house, mowing the lawn, and helping her on her bills. She doesn't have a life insurance to pay off the loan and the house is in very bad shape, cracked slab, etc. It will be just going back to the bank. Before her husband died of cancer they sold off everything they could to pay bills. And she turned into a hoarder/cat lady. I think she has around 20 cats now. My wife has power of attorney and executor. She wants to be buried. It's hard to say how long she will live. We have been expecting something for the last ~5 years.

We are trying to figure out what to do. We have looked some at buying her one of the funeral packages or paying for life insurance. To help out her final expenses. Any suggestions or experiences on something like this? We are not going to just let her go. So don't consider that as a something we would consider.

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Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 10 replies Author Time Post
Reply Question about life insurance for a friend (Original post)
duncang May 2017 OP
mn9driver May 2017 #1
Phentex May 2017 #2
Fla Dem May 2017 #3
duncang May 2017 #4
TexasBushwhacker May 2017 #5
Skittles May 2017 #6
duncang May 2017 #7
Skittles May 2017 #9
duncang May 2017 #10
hunter May 2017 #8

Response to duncang (Original post)

Fri May 5, 2017, 08:21 AM

1. Put whatever you can afford per month into a savings account.

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Response to duncang (Original post)

Fri May 5, 2017, 09:24 AM

2. Two things. Do you have anything like a Memorial Society where you live?

It's not a pre pay thing but more of a pre planning. Here in Georgia, you register with them and they have already negotiated fees for cremation and burials which includes transporting the body. They agree not to try and upsell the families once the person has died which is what catches so many people off guard at a very emotional time. Right now a cremation is $995, a direct burial is $1995 and a complete funeral with service and burial is $3999.

The other thing is some funeral homes themselves are offering negotiated upfront pricing (as you mentioned, a package). The key is shopping around and making your plans before you need them.

With her age and health condition, I wouldn't think you could get much insurance that would be as affordable.

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Response to duncang (Original post)

Fri May 5, 2017, 09:59 AM

3. Google Burial Insurance.

A few sites pop up. Maybe something there. Just make sure they are registered with your state's insurance commission.

Cremation is the way to go; less expensive. Guess it's up to her.

Did they buy a plot for her when her husband died?

Other than theses few remarks, really can't help you. Tough situation.

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Response to duncang (Original post)

Fri May 5, 2017, 08:54 PM

4. Thanks for the responses

I checked the costco just not sure how that works with the funeral homes. Will have to check further. Checked memorial societies found some in Texas just nothing listed in our area. It did give us a better idea on what the costs might be. On the burial insurance most what I have seen show way to high payouts and premiums found a couple that may work. So far AARP may be the best on it. Decided we are going to talk to our insurance guy also to see what he says. We may try to see what kind of local funeral homes have also.

Her husband was cremated and she wants him buried with her. I'm not sure how that will work. I don't think it will be a problem but will need to check. I'm pretty sure we also have to get at least a concrete outside box.

Any and all suggestions welcome.

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Response to duncang (Reply #4)

Fri May 5, 2017, 09:21 PM

5. Texas doesn't have a lot of regulations

The body doesn't have to be embalmed. It doesn't technically even have to have a casket to be buried, but cemetaries will have their own requirements. Concrete liners are not required by law.

The Costco caskets are a pretty good deal. Shipping is included and they are under $1000. But you can get a pine box casket for as little as $600, maybe less.

Cremation ashes do not have to be in any particular type of container. Whatever she has her husband's ashes in can just be put in her casket with her. For my mother's ashes we got some ceramic vases from Pier I and sealed them with paraffin.

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Response to duncang (Original post)

Sat May 6, 2017, 06:41 PM

6. get one of those whole life polices for final expenses

she falls into the age range

ensure those cats are fixed so they are not reproducing

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Response to Skittles (Reply #6)

Sun May 7, 2017, 02:33 PM

7. Somebody called out the police today

Not sure who. Lately she has had a lot of people coming over. A physical therapist, a few different case workers, the home assistance person, etc. She asked the police to call us since she wasn't too sure what to do. But the police said as long as they are taking care of there is nothing they will do.

She is even getting to the point where she wants help on them. Before she wouldn't even think about giving them up. We tried a few times. Took some kittens in just to hand tame them other wise nobody will take them. We did get some more to a shelter had to drive close to 100 miles for that. We also offered a washing machine to one no kill shelter what needed one if they would take some. But they said they had too many already. Right now she has 20-30 cats and she can't afford to get them fixed and that's way too much for us to afford. Trying to even catch them is near impossible. Last time it took a couple hours just to get 3. The only four what she says she can't get by with out and you can approach we had fixed. For awhile she wouldn't let any go. Since she hoards every room is stacked up. One room you can barely open the door.

We have decided to go with the whole life. About the only real way we can go.

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Response to duncang (Reply #7)

Sun May 7, 2017, 04:26 PM

9. the authorities should be involved

no one can look after 20 pets so that is pet cruelty right there

the lady obviously cannot handle life without a lot of help

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Response to Skittles (Reply #9)

Sun May 7, 2017, 07:10 PM

10. They have been already

The animal control has been out previously. (One of her caregivers turned her in that time.) As long as she keeps them in the house and fed they won't do anything. None of them get wormed or their shots. Only a couple cats are tame enough for her to pet and hold. None of them will let anybody else get close to them. The kittens we were able to get to take home took a month to tame. So someone could hold and pet them.

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Response to duncang (Original post)

Sun May 7, 2017, 03:51 PM

8. Our county cremates indigent people.

The county will pass the ashes on to relatives or the deceased's estate for a sliding scale fee meant to cover some of the cremation costs, otherwise volunteers solemnly and respectfully commit the ashes to the ocean.

Dead people are just dead. Ceremony is for the living.

As much as I'd wish my dead femurs be turned into maces to smite my enemies, it's not likely to happen.

One of my great grandmas wanted to be buried with her dogs, selfishly, she would have had them put down and buried with her. Didn't happen. Dogs lived out their natural lives and joined her later. The living have the final say.

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