Chinese man attempted to remove hemorrhoids with a sword

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Note I said attempted. He got it stuck up there.

For the love of everything holy, someone please introduce Preparation H to this guy.

Yan Wu, who works in Hangzhou, China, says he has been suffering from anus pain for about ten years, and he was so embarrassed to let anyone know of his issue that he instead decided to take care of it on his own. With a sword. It all seems like a bizarre take on the King Arthur story.

Wu used a small, but razor sharp, sword in order to attempt to cut out his hemorrhoids. Obviously it didn't work out because Wu slipped and the sword became lodged in his ass (take a second to sit up in your seat, writhing in pain).

The sword seemed to be a type of key chain that was 10cm in length, and it was soaked in blood when Wu's co-worker rushed him to the hospital. Doctors removed the sword and Wu was fine.

And the hell of it is he didn't even have hemorrhoids!