A serious discussion about male squirting...

[Bonobo]

You know how there's all that pee in front of urinals on the ground?

WTF?

How does SO MUCH get there? I always see signs saying "take another step forward", etc.

Does that mean people are just...dribbling on the ground? Or is it pray back? Or is it water from the urinal bouncing off the pee cakes?

Someone explain cause it's gross standing in it, isn't it?

[Major Nikon]

1. Piss poor urinal design and piss pour technique

[Warren DeMontague]

2. This idea that 'squirting' is some kind of "issue"- ie. a sociopolitical one... Always cracks me up.

As is the apparent delusion (fantasy?) that the entire edifice of penis-pleasin' patriarchal problematic pornification porny porn-porn will collapse in a dejected, dismantled heap if female ejaculation, such as it it, is shown to be the "LIE!!!!" That some demand it MUST be, because, it's in porn which means.... heteronormative dudebros like it, which means... it must be bad.



Never mind the fact that honestly I dont think too many porn viewers actually give a shit, or if they do, they really care WHAT the composition of said fluid is.

And never mind the large amount of anecdotal evidence, from many women and their partners, that something beyond mere peeing is going on here. Honestly, if it's pee it means I was peed on (or at?) at least once during college. Which is fine, I wouldnt freak out if that was the case, but .... I dont believe it was.

The fixation some have with "debunking" squirting... It's at least as weird as the fixation on the thing itself.


edited --- "issue"

[OnyxCollie]

3. I work as a custodian in a middle school.

I'm accustomed to mopping up pee on the floor in front of the urinals in the boy's bathroom.

However, I do NOT appreciate a puddle of piss in front of the urinal in the men's faculty bathroom.

My guess: aiming downward, and then moving up until water or porcelain are hit. Probably while texting.

[Bonobo]

4. Aiming downward?

You mean that they aim down and actually MISS the urinal until they adjust their aim???

[OnyxCollie]

5. Yep.

First shot to calibrate the sight, and then adjust to hit the target, either by aiming upward or moving forward.

[Bonobo]

6. God, that's revolting. nt

[OnyxCollie]

9. Finding pee on TOP of the urinal is revolting. nt

[Warren DeMontague]

12. Wasnt there some story about the office where the coffee tasted perpetually bad, and so they set up

A camera and discovered that a disgruntled employee was relieving him (one assumes it was a him) -self in the fill tank of the Mr. Coffee?

I guess the object lesson there is, it could always be worse.

[OnyxCollie]

14. Mrs. Freidman: I've had this taste in my mouth before.

Bimbeau: {after tasting the punch, which the Knights have urinated in} It does have a little wang to it. Good, though.

It's not often that I quote The Hollywood Knights, and that's a good thing.

[Warren DeMontague]

15. I had to look it up... Believe it or not, I've never seen that movie. In fact, I'd never HEARD of it

which is odd, because I'm a film person.



My favorite Robert Wuhl role is as sportswriter Al Stump, versus Tommy Lee Jones's horrifically unpleasant, vile, strung out, misanthropic Ty Cobb.

Black comedy gold.

"The south may not rise again, but my **** will. Let's go"

[Warren DeMontague]

7. damn, I'm all for multitasking, but

[Warren DeMontague]

8. I think it's some of all of the above.

What's truly upsetting is places where it's been going on so long that it has started to eat away at the stone or laminate flooring, the way water dripping over aeons will carve out channels in limestone.

Either that or some peoples' pee is like Xenomorph blood.

[Bonobo]

10. But is it actually urine?

Or some strange secretion we don't know about?

Perhaps male orgasms actually are not as simple as we thought and when we go to the bathroom...

Frank Zappa was on to something when he said "Shake it more than three times and you're playing with it..."

When was the last time you saw someone ONLY shake it 3 times or less?

[Warren DeMontague]

11. On these sorts of philosophical questions, I adopt what is known as a wide stance.

Still I do think that pornography has caused unrealistic expectations for men. For instance, I remember watching some late-70s smut where they obviously faked the man's orgasm with some form of mustard. I mean, you could actually see the bright yellow plastic condiment bottle coming into the frame.

From that moment on, I wished I had an Oscar Meyer weiner. Nothing less would suffice.

[OnyxCollie]

13. Eyes forward; NEVER look to the side.

Nobody likes a Pee Pal.