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Bonobo

(29,257 posts)
Sat Jan 19, 2013, 09:12 AM Jan 2013

"Marital aid addiction" and loss of performance and drive with real men

After considering the argument that men viewing porn can make it difficult for them to "function" with real women, I spent some time thinking about it.

I suppose the argument is probably an old one since masturbation has always been a competitor for sex with one's partner, but with todays ease of availability of porn, it is probably exacerbated somewhat.

Still, breaking down the issue, I see it as involving A) the "ease" of self-stimulation vs. the "bother" of initiating sex and B) the competition between the visual presence of women with perfect bodies doing really raunchy things vs. the imperfections of the real woman who may be less inclined...

After giving it some thought, I had to conclude that this is a problem/issue that must arise with women's use of penis substitutes, namely vibrators as well. I mean, if you are going to make the argument that masturbating to porn is harmful to one's sex drive with a real person and all their imperfections, you must also admit that the same would be true for a woman that uses a large rapidly vibrating "marital aid".

Both are objects for self-stimulation that obviate the need for reaching out for a human partner. It seems intellectually dishonest to rail against one instance of it and not the other.

Personally, I think both are fine with reasonable limits but I wanted to put that out there.

27 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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"Marital aid addiction" and loss of performance and drive with real men (Original Post) Bonobo Jan 2013 OP
If every woman had a sybian machine no man would ever get laid again. Scuba Jan 2013 #1
Not true Warren DeMontague Jan 2013 #6
lol. maybe the same 90% of guys who never get laid usually....n/t galileoreloaded May 2013 #26
But there is the Precious Bodily Fluids problem, Bonobo. malthaussen Jan 2013 #2
It's a Communist plot by hot blonde Russian porn stars. nt Bonobo Jan 2013 #3
If anyone in this thread mentions graham crackers... ElboRuum Jan 2013 #4
Pernicious Pesky Problematic Porn is apparently responsiple for rape AND erectile dysfunction. Warren DeMontague Jan 2013 #5
This "Marina Robinson" seems to be on a one-woman crusade against the Orgasm itself. Warren DeMontague Jan 2013 #7
So glad I stopped reading that piece of shit magazine... opiate69 Jan 2013 #8
It's a very insular group of whack-a-doos. Warren DeMontague Jan 2013 #9
ahh.. the lovely Ms Reismann rears her ugly head again... opiate69 Jan 2013 #10
Several scientificamal sociomologimical studies have shown that women who use vibrators Warren DeMontague Jan 2013 #11
Objectifying a man like that is disgusting Bonobo Jan 2013 #12
INDEED!!! The societal harm needs to be critically examined; especially the entitlement mentality Warren DeMontague Jan 2013 #13
Interesting. redqueen Jan 2013 #14
I'd rather here YOUR opinion on the use of penis-objectifying marital aids and Bonobo Jan 2013 #15
Anyone remember this? Warren DeMontague Jan 2013 #17
And, the alert results: Warren DeMontague Jan 2013 #18
This message was self-deleted by its author ProudToBeBlueInRhody Jan 2013 #19
We are committed to adhering to it, and I know the other group hosts are as well. Warren DeMontague Jan 2013 #20
I don't know about the use of "marital aids" Denninmi Jan 2013 #21
eh. Warren DeMontague Jan 2013 #22
Hard to phase except Warren DeMontague Jan 2013 #24
Juror #6 Identified! Warren DeMontague Jan 2013 #23
Objectifying. Bonobo May 2013 #25
Vegtemelogical Gherkinofricationizing Phallomagorical Patriostrinofsmical! Warren DeMontague May 2013 #27
What do -you- suppose it's about? Warren DeMontague Jan 2013 #16

malthaussen

(17,195 posts)
2. But there is the Precious Bodily Fluids problem, Bonobo.
Sat Jan 19, 2013, 11:19 AM
Jan 2013

A male may exhaust his precious fluids via Onanism, thus affecting his ability (nevermind his desire) to perform with a female, whereas the ability of the latter to engage at any time is not adversely impacted by frequency of self-stimulation.

-- Mal

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
5. Pernicious Pesky Problematic Porn is apparently responsiple for rape AND erectile dysfunction.
Sat Jan 19, 2013, 03:59 PM
Jan 2013

How that works, I have no idea.

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
7. This "Marina Robinson" seems to be on a one-woman crusade against the Orgasm itself.
Sat Jan 19, 2013, 05:34 PM
Jan 2013

I mean, I'm all for kink; whatever works, consenting adults, etc.. but at least be intellectually honest and say that's your kick, don't try to dress it up as "science" or "morality" (time honored as those traditions- like in Western Religion- may be)

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/201209/rethinking-the-wonders-adult-masturbation

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/201204/women-does-orgasm-give-you-hangover

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/201205/men-does-frequent-ejaculation-cause-hangover

 

opiate69

(10,129 posts)
8. So glad I stopped reading that piece of shit magazine...
Sat Jan 19, 2013, 07:59 PM
Jan 2013

I know it`s probably silly of me, but for some reason I would expect a magazine called "Psychology Today" to actually publish articles written by people who, you know... actually hold degrees in Psych... and not homophobic right-wing former corporate attorneys.

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
9. It's a very insular group of whack-a-doos.
Sat Jan 19, 2013, 08:33 PM
Jan 2013

All basing their "science" upon the esteemed research of one Judith Reisman, anti-gay bigot and right wing kook.

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
11. Several scientificamal sociomologimical studies have shown that women who use vibrators
Sat Jan 19, 2013, 10:03 PM
Jan 2013

Eventually become unable to distinguish a man from a package of "c" cells.

Bonobo

(29,257 posts)
12. Objectifying a man like that is disgusting
Sat Jan 19, 2013, 10:59 PM
Jan 2013

As if a man is nothing but a 9 inch long vibrating schlong...

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
13. INDEED!!! The societal harm needs to be critically examined; especially the entitlement mentality
Sun Jan 20, 2013, 04:56 AM
Jan 2013

of women who believe that they somehow "deserve" this kind of stimulation, that it is their God-Given Right to decide for themselves, even, to get pleasure from buzzing bits of plastic- the nerve! The idea that they can participate in these sorts of categorically objectifying self-pleasuring experiences, undoubtedly altering their brains with endorphin erotoxin oxycontin scary sounding words undenyiably altering their psyches to turn them into plastic-fetishists with addicted sexual programming.... that any time they feel they "need" or "want" an orgasm they demand- DEMAND! the 'right' to reach into the nightstand and switch on ol' Buzz Lightrabbit...

Really, I think a serious social critique has to include the messages which are being sent to young women, telling them they can expect the right to march into a Good Vibrations store, pick up a $40 vibrator, and they don't need to do anything else, they can DEMAND yes DEMAND sexual pleasure because they have an ENTITLEMENT MENTALITY that tells them they are ENTITLED to a vibrating phallic-shaped object ANY DAMN TIME THEY WANT!



Caaaaaanyooooooooo CAAAANNYOOOOOUUUUUU belieeeeeeve the ENTITLEMENT MENTALITY???????????



p.s. this is in case of impairment

redqueen

(115,103 posts)
14. Interesting.
Sun Jan 20, 2013, 09:22 PM
Jan 2013
Warren DeMontague (42,899 posts)

13 . INDEED!!! The societal harm needs to be critically examined; especially the entitlement mentality

Last edited Sun Jan 20, 2013, 03:22 AM USA/ET - Edit history (2)

of women who believe that they somehow "deserve" this kind of stimulation, that it is their God-Given Right to decide for themselves, even, to get pleasure from buzzing bits of plastic- the nerve! The idea that they can participate in these sorts of categorically objectifying self-pleasuring experiences, undoubtedly altering their brains with endorphin erotoxin oxycontin scary sounding words undenyiably altering their psyches to turn them into plastic-fetishists with addicted sexual programming.... that any time they feel they "need" or "want" an orgasm they demand- DEMAND! the 'right' to reach into the nightstand and switch on ol' Buzz Lightrabbit...

Really, I think a serious social critique has to include the messages which are being sent to young women, telling them they can expect the right to march into a Good Vibrations store, pick up a $40 vibrator, and they don't need to do anything else, they can DEMAND yes DEMAND sexual pleasure because they have an ENTITLEMENT MENTALITY that tells them they are ENTITLED to a vibrating phallic-shaped object ANY DAMN TIME THEY WANT!

Caaaaaanyooooooooo CAAAANNYOOOOOUUUUUU belieeeeeeve the ENTITLEMENT MENTALITY???????????

p.s. this is in case of impairment



What's this about?

Bonobo

(29,257 posts)
15. I'd rather here YOUR opinion on the use of penis-objectifying marital aids and
Sun Jan 20, 2013, 11:28 PM
Jan 2013

how that might effect a woman's ability to connect on a human level to her husband.

And perhaps you might expound on how the use of a dildo or vibrator has the effect of objectifying a man and reducing his utility to the level of a pleasure device.

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
18. And, the alert results:
Mon Jan 21, 2013, 02:46 PM
Jan 2013
At Mon Jan 21, 2013, 07:06 AM an alert was sent on the following post:

Anyone remember this?
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1114&pid=6334

REASON FOR ALERT:

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate. (See <a href="http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=aboutus#communitystandards" target="_blank">Community Standards</a>.)

ALERTER'S COMMENTS:

Trying to restart forum wars. Crying smileys with references to hate and harm? The hateful and harmful stuff about women involves serious threats of violence, sexualized violence, or jokes about violence which normalize it. This making fun of feminists shit is getting really old.

You served on a randomly-selected Jury of DU members which reviewed this post. The review was completed at Mon Jan 21, 2013, 07:12 AM, and the Jury voted 1-5 to LEAVE IT.

Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: No explanation given
Juror #2 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: No explanation given
Juror #3 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: No explanation given
Juror #4 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: No explanation given
Juror #5 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: Well actually, this alert smells like HoF trolling the men's group looking for something to be offended about.
Juror #6 voted to HIDE IT and said: No explanation given

Thank you very much for participating in our Jury system, and we hope you will be able to participate again in the future.

Response to Warren DeMontague (Reply #18)

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
20. We are committed to adhering to it, and I know the other group hosts are as well.
Mon Jan 21, 2013, 03:18 PM
Jan 2013

Beyond that, further discussion along those lines is not helpful. Better to stick to the topic, which is the question -at least as I understand Bonobo's OP- as to whether marital aids for women cause neurochemical brain changes, wide scale societal harm, result in women being erotically programmed to consider men "objects" and "objects" men, etc.

I do think that has to go down in history as one of DU's more ridiculous alerts, though.

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
27. Vegtemelogical Gherkinofricationizing Phallomagorical Patriostrinofsmical!
Wed May 8, 2013, 07:08 PM
May 2013

Last edited Thu May 9, 2013, 01:32 AM - Edit history (1)

D-Cell-ulous Harmfopulous look-in-ulous objectifaculous!

Heteroplazmitous Frimtabulous Boobaculous Vibraculous!



It's Sociomologicalifically objectifraculous! Othering, Wuthering, Ithering Dithering!

Vibrating! Latte-making!

Positively Female Gaze-imacularly Frimlitastically Objectifricactruous!

Terrible-mastic, Horrible-frastic, Made of Plastic, Dongle Joke Making Apocalypse-astic!


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