How does self-flaggelation get to this point? how does someone get so fearful of their testosterone?

[galileoreloaded]

What in the actual fuck? This is mental illness, and a complete disregard for any natural development of our species. And people wonder why some of us spend so much time playing badminton with the pathology that embody the terms "privilege" and "patriarchy".

http://lateralpazwalk.wordpress.com/2011/05/31/why-im-anti-piv/

"Why is it that risking their lives for your pleasure is so damn important? Should the fact that they are human beings who value your existence be enough? But nooo… sex is responsible for fucking god-knows how many ruined marriages, so much drama, I can’t even begin.

See – that’s where privilege comes in. A man’s privilege to a womon’s genitals, and consequently, her life. Owning a womon.

Men need to value womyn as HUMAN BEINGS, not as fuck-holes that tell them how great they are."

[name not needed]

1. Well I have to applaud him for keeping himself out of the gene pool.

[Denninmi]

2. Maybe satire again?

I fell for that a few posts downstream - perhaps it's meant to point out just how extreme some viewpoints are.

If not, yeah, I feel sorry for the guy. Also, he needs to learn to spell or use spellcheck.

[MrSlayer]

3. Some dudes play the emasculated role to get laid.

It's an angle, not one that I'd ever play but an angle nonetheless. Some people like to be dominated and abused. Different strokes for different folks.

[opiate69]

4. Man, that's a metric fuckton of self loathing...

Not to mention, these subliterate fucking imbeciles still don't seem to understand the simple idea that "desire" is not synonymous with entitlement...

[Behind the Aegis]

5. I thought it was satire, until read some of the other articles.

This person has an unhealthy (and that is me being polite) view of sex and his own body. This is one of the more disgusting pieces I have ever read. I don't mean to sound flip or dismissive, but thank G-d I am gay!

[opiate69]

7. That's exactly my experience as well..

I was sure he was making fun of the idiots like Twisty, until I went and read some more... quite a fucked up individual.

[loli phabay]

26. yup and coming from me that says a lot,, howdy buddy

[mokawanis]

6. This sentence from the article made me lol

"By the way, as any womon will tell you, PIV doesn’t really feel that good."

All I can do is laugh at that one. Other then a few articles I've read online I've never heard anyone make that claim.

[nomorenomore08]

10. Yeah, I think it begs for a bit more life experience.

And besides, if a given woman doesn't quite get off "that way" there are always alternatives...

[nomorenomore08]

8. Bizarre. I really feel sorry for the guy.

Though as always, it should be noted that these extreme examples are hardly typical of "feminism." And that not all mentions of "male privilege" or "patriarchy" - though I tend to avoid those terms myself - imply hatred of intercourse.

[galileoreloaded]

9. my concern is that those terms have become code words for

a wide range of rationalizations, of differing severities, that promote a false sense of victimization.

the behavior is predictable and rooted in good biological strategy, but imo needs a counterweight let you end up with wildly extremest outlooks like those i displayed in the article and confront daily both here and other places.

[nomorenomore08]

11. Yeah, lacking a sense of balance or perspective can wind up with some weird stuff.

Case in point, the OP.

[nomorenomore08]

12. Here's another post from the same guy. Might shed some light on why he is the way he is:

http://lateralpazwalk.wordpress.com/2011/05/24/becoming-a-pro-radical-feminist/

"In my early teens, I was extremely curious about human sexuality. My first exposure to pornography was when a virus found its way into the home computer – there was a picture of a naked woman masturbating. I felt disgusted, I had never seen a woman’s genitals before. It shocked me. I was disgusted by the face this woman was making. I did not feel aroused.

As I learned about sexuality, I wanted to see what it actually is – and thus I tried looking around the internet for pornography. I was shocked, repulsed, disgusted, agitated, disturbed. There was something wrong – there was a dissonance between what I’d read and what was going on – these images showed no “love” – they showed cold-hearted fucking. It almost made me cry. In fact, it probably did. I can’t remember."

And yes, it is even sadder and more fucked up than the other one...

[Gore1FL]

13. Sounds like this guy is against more than PIV... n/t

[TM99]

14. I am curious

to know what his family and religious upbringing were like.

As a clinically trained sexologist, red flags go up for me in several possible areas of experience that might lead to such a 'skewed' conclusion & viewpoint on human sexuality.

[nomorenomore08]

15. I hesitate to get personal about a total stranger, but he does mention that he was sexually abused.

Also that he happens to be a long-time sufferer of rather severe depression. And although my own case has generally been more mild-to-moderate, I know what chronic depression feels like and it really is a terrible, debilitating thing.

Perhaps just as importantly, he says he's never actually had sex, and from his "anti-PIV" stance one can assume he doesn't plan to in the future. I know his opinions shouldn't bother me since he's only one person with no real power, but I really feel awful for the guy, to the point that reading his blog bummed me out for the whole day - part of the reason why I went out for a drink tonight, and I'm normally not a very heavy drinker.

[TM99]

18. Sexual abuse

and the resulting PTSD, depression, and other issues often lead to gross distortions of the healthy expression of human sexuality within any relationship.

Poor kid already has issues, and he really doesn't need to be exposed to such sickness as the 'anti-PIV' stance of other abuse victims.

[loli phabay]

27. out of curiosity what is a sexologist, ive never heard of it before

Ps not looking for proffessional help. Lol

[TM99]

34. Read this

http://americanboardofsexology.com/whatis.htm

[loli phabay]

29. i dont get this idea that there has to be love, sex is fun especially when done right

I see this a lot, people saying there needs to be love etc. Sometimes you just want someone wlse there even if it's just to watch, or film etc.

[nomorenomore08]

31. People conflate "sex" and "love" to widely varying degrees.

Some are unable to properly enjoy physical intimacy without a deep and lasting emotional connection. Others can jump into bed with just about anyone and have a great time. Whereas most people - myself included - probably fall somewhere in the middle.

[loli phabay]

33. love is what i get with my family ie wife kids etc, does not stop me having fun

With other partners, i just dont get why people think that you just cant have a shag and then move on.

[HappyMe]

16. This is pretty messed up.

What a weird, skewed view of sex and masculinity.

Also, it's spelled 'woman' or 'women'.

[lumberjack_jeff]

17. His views are on the fringe.

But they are shaped by a culture of guy-shaming that has brought many men near, if not to, his self-loathing point of view. And as MrSlayer pointed out downthread, emulating these views is an effective hook-up tactic.

Sex is the glue that keeps most marriages together. Absent that intimacy, there's little point.

I feel bad for the guy. I feel worse that there are people out there who use his blog as exemplary of the way guys should think and behave.

[Major Nikon]

19. It's not as if he's the first

John Stoltenberg came well before him.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

20. I disagree it's effective

To me, it's usually another attempt to play the dreaded "nice guy" card.

Most women like to have coffee with self deprecatory guys, not sleep with them.

[lumberjack_jeff]

21. Point taken.

Usually, it's the chauvinist-convinced-to-see-the-error-of-his-ways gambit, which is qualitatively different.

[Warren DeMontague]

22. As a general rule, I don't take advice from anyone whose motto is "I Feel Like Shit and Want To Die"

[Denninmi]

23. Yeah.

Kind of better to look towards the winners in life for inspiration. Not trying to say this guy is a "loser" in that sense, but he is certainly losing out on a very normal, healthy, and important part of life. And sounds very unhappy. Certainly not someone to emulate. The guy really needs therapy in a big way.

[nomorenomore08]

24. Agreed. His worldview is so obviously driven by depression, and general neurosis, that it pains me

to think about. Especially as a long-time sufferer of depression myself.

[Warren DeMontague]

25. And that should not be taken as a slam against depressed people.

I've had some dark periods in my life, myself, but i like to think i was always at least self aware enough to realize that those were the times when i was most spectacularly ill-suited to be trying to offer other people guidance or instruction an' whatnot.

Hell, i make a shit guru even on a good day.

But theres a big difference between saying "i feel like crap and want to die" - which really deserves sympathy and understanding, it does-- and proudly running that statement up the flagpole while simultaneously telling other people how to live their lives.

Although, come to think of it...there's this almost, like, mathematical relationship i think... The people with the most specific instruction on how others ought to live almost always are the most unhappy people themselves.

You look at the Dalai Lama, his advice is "Eh. Be happy. Show compassion". Always with a big ol grin on his face.

Meanwhile, the Pope has a giant list of rules to go with his giant hat.... Does the new guy smile? He last one sure didn't.

[nomorenomore08]

28. Well, superficially, I don't find Francis to be as creepy as Benedict. Not that that's saying much

given that Ratzinger always set off my Creep-O-Meter in a big way. And of course Francis, as expected, does seem to be a rather conservative sort, if not in the harshly reactionary way that his predecessor was. So as a "cultural Catholic" - i.e. raised/educated Catholic but non-practicing since childhood - who's fairly detached from these things, yet still somewhat emotionally invested, my general feeling about this Pope is considerably more positive than the last one. Though once again, that doesn't necessarily say a whole lot.

And BTW I totally agree with your point there. Happy people generally aren't all that inclined to lecture others.

[Warren DeMontague]

30. That has been my impression thus far, too.

Although my cynical side says he's aware of the PR problems the church really needs to address, so thats part of it.

But I think John XXIII was a Good Pope. i hope this one will be, too.

[nomorenomore08]

32. Agreed all around.