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Thu Mar 28, 2013, 10:23 PM

near Asheville, NC, from my cousin, who wrote the first paragraph:

Welcome to North Buncombe High School, Matthew Bent. You practically quoted what I was told when my son was bullied first semester. I am so sorry that your son and you are dealing with this.

YESTERDAY, MY SON WAS BODYSLAMMED 3 TIMES BY A BULLY, THE SAME BULLY THAT HAS BEEN MAKING MY SON'S SCHOOL YEAR A NIGHTMARE, INCLUDING STEALING A NECKLACE I GAVE... MY SON AS A SPECIAL GIFT FOR HIS FIRST YEAR OF LITTLE LEAGUE. LAST NIGHT, I CALLED THE COPS TO PUT A STOP TO THIS, AND WHEN THE COP CAME OVER, HE SAID THE SCHOOL POLICE OFFICER WOULD HANDLE THE CASE. WHEN I GOT A CALL TODAY FROM THE RVMS PSLO, HE TOLD ME THAT BECAUSE MY SON VOLUNTARILY WALKED INTO THE AREA THAT THE BULLY WAS, THAT IT WAS MY SON'S FAULT FOR GOING "INTO THE LIONS DEN" AND THERE WAS NOTHING HE WOULD DO ABOUT IT. WHEN I TOLD THE OFFICER THAT THIS BULLY HAD BEEN BULLYING MY SON ALL YEAR, HE SAID HE ONLY TAKES ONE ISSUE AT A TIME AND THE PAST WAS DONE, AND THE NECKLACE WAS THE BULLY'S BECAUSE THE BULLY WAS ABLE TO NAME A STORE WHERE THEY SELL THEM. THE KAUKAUNA AREA SCHOOLS IS PROTECTING BULLIES AND IGNORING THEIR VICTIMS! PLEASE SHARE AND SEND A MESSAGE TO EVERY SCHOOL DISTRICT THAT PROTECTING BULLIES AND DOING NOTHING ABOUT THEIR ACTIONS IS WRONG!! MY SON HAS BEEN BULLIED ALL SCHOOL YEAR BY THIS GROUP OF THUGS, AND NOT 1 TEACHER, ADMINISTRATOR, COUNCILLOR OR OFFICER WILL DO ANYTHING TO MAKE IT STOP, THEY ONLY OFFER EXCUSES AND BLAME THE VICTIMS!!! PLEASE HELP ME IN THE EFFORT TO STOP BULLYING!!!

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Reply near Asheville, NC, from my cousin, who wrote the first paragraph: (Original post)
elleng Mar 2013 OP
knitter4democracy Mar 2013 #1
elleng Mar 2013 #2
knitter4democracy Mar 2013 #3
elleng Mar 2013 #4
knitter4democracy Mar 2013 #5
elleng Mar 2013 #6
knitter4democracy Mar 2013 #7
LWolf Mar 2013 #14
elleng Mar 2013 #15
mbperrin Mar 2013 #8
elleng Mar 2013 #9
ProgressiveProfessor Mar 2013 #10
elleng Mar 2013 #11
ProgressiveProfessor Mar 2013 #12
elleng Mar 2013 #13

Response to elleng (Original post)

Thu Mar 28, 2013, 10:25 PM

1. It sounds like everyone's deferring to the officer who's an idiot.

I've seen that sort of thing happen before, and it's nothing if not massively frustrating.

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Response to knitter4democracy (Reply #1)

Thu Mar 28, 2013, 10:31 PM

2. Yes but beyond that, the school/system ignoring its duty.

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Response to elleng (Reply #2)

Thu Mar 28, 2013, 10:32 PM

3. Possibly.

As a teacher, I know that, sometimes, I've passed issues like this along, been assured it's being taken care of, only to find out later the victim was blamed, etc. Just because teachers aren't saying anything to the student and mom (which we're usually told to do--all communication goes through admins instead) doesn't mean they're not doing something.

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Response to knitter4democracy (Reply #3)

Thu Mar 28, 2013, 10:35 PM

4. Its clear, from what my cousin says, that 'they' are not doing what must be done,

and in my opinion they have an obligation to protect their students.

The term in loco parentis, Latin for "in the place of a parent""[1] refers to the legal responsibility of a person or organization to take on some of the functions and responsibilities of a parent. Originally derived from English common law, it is applied in two separate areas of the law.

First, it allows institutions such as colleges and schools to act in the best interests of the students as they see fit, although not allowing what would be considered violations of the students' civil liberties.[1]


Its reasonable for an individual teacher to pass it along, but 'along' had damn well better do something.


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Response to elleng (Reply #4)

Thu Mar 28, 2013, 10:38 PM

5. I'm well aware of the legal ramifications.

I'm not arguing that. What I'm saying is that sometimes we teachers get stymied and ignored, and then we get blamed and told we didn't do anything when we did. Yes, the admins and officer have dropped the ball here big-time and need to fix it and fast, I'm not arguing that, I'm just saying that there's a good chance at least one teacher has done something but is getting blamed and accused of doing nothing.

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Response to knitter4democracy (Reply #5)

Thu Mar 28, 2013, 10:43 PM

6. Yes, and I'm sorry if I gave the impression that I'm blaming teachers;

I'm not.

My cousin told me recently she is/will be home-schooling her son.

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Response to elleng (Reply #6)

Thu Mar 28, 2013, 10:45 PM

7. Ah. Well, the post clearly does.

Not one teacher, etc.

I understand her desire to homeschool at this point but think a better answer is to raise all kinds of heck, get a "Be More Kind" program going in that school, and hold admins' feet to the fire.

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Response to elleng (Reply #4)

Fri Mar 29, 2013, 12:24 PM

14. While I pass such things along,

and don't report back to parents or students, I do check in with counselor and principal to keep up-to-date on results. And there are results.

Our incidents are infrequent, and smaller in scope; maybe because we catch them and address them quickly, maybe because we work really hard at building a positive community.

I know it's frustrating for admins when it's a "he said, she said" situation, with no other evidence. We usually have a pretty good idea who is telling the truth, but without some proof, the admin can't take one person's word over another. Fortunately, this is the exception rather than the rule, and if it happens, everyone, including playground and cafeteria supervisors, are put on alert to watch those students more closely. If it happened once, it will happen again, and we'll nail it.

I think the difference in some schools might be one of size. My school is small, and everyone knows everyone else. It's hard to get away with anything, it's hard to "fall through the cracks," and we catch things faster and more often than in larger schools where it's easier for individuals to slide under the radar, and harder for the adults to get to know all of them as closely.

We are more of a community than an institution. I admit to bias; I think all schools should be that way.

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Response to LWolf (Reply #14)

Fri Mar 29, 2013, 02:49 PM

15. I sure wish they were where you are, LWolf,

as your 'community' fits the bill for me, and probably for my cousin, who has been a teacher.

Don't know that size alone explains the 'stuff' my cousin and the other family have experienced. Maybe? Something in the air? History? Culture?

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Response to elleng (Original post)

Thu Mar 28, 2013, 11:08 PM

8. I'd get an attorney to write Jack Evans, the principal

and the head of the school board to demand the return of the necklace, the bully to alternative school, and a cessation of all bullying in the future. Penalties for failure to comply? Monetary, and in the case of the principal, complaints to the state licensing agency to get a notation on his certificate at a minimum.

Depending, it may have to be an out of town attorney.

Be confrontational and demanding and backed up by your lawyer and the state.

Squeaky wheel gets the grease, and most especially so in education.

So sorry this is happening to you. It enrages me as a teacher and as a parent.

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Response to mbperrin (Reply #8)

Thu Mar 28, 2013, 11:13 PM

9. Thanks, mbp.

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Response to elleng (Original post)

Thu Mar 28, 2013, 11:23 PM

10. Radical approaches

Go back to the police station. Insist on filing the complaint. Name the school officer as a conspirator after the fact since he is not taking action.

Go to the school board public meeting. It often has local media in attendance. Bring the issue up. Provide details. Tell them what the officer said.

Talk to a local reporter. Get media coverage.
=================================

The school and the cops are most interested in no waves. When you make some, there will be some push back, but in the end public shaming will get action.

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Response to ProgressiveProfessor (Reply #10)

Thu Mar 28, 2013, 11:26 PM

11. Thanks, Professor.

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Response to elleng (Reply #11)

Thu Mar 28, 2013, 11:35 PM

12. We had a major problem in the school my daughters went to after an off campus incident

Later the principal told me the most scary thing I every said was "What is the district's address for legal service". At that point they realized that we were not going to be quiet and just go along. They got serious and the problem was transferred out of the school

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Response to ProgressiveProfessor (Reply #12)

Thu Mar 28, 2013, 11:38 PM

13. I hope this can happen there.

I'm not near them, and think they don't have the resources, or they think they don't have the resources, to follow with legal action. I sure would, but don't know that they can.

I did copy and send your suggestion to my cousin.

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