my oldest was born in a male body

[goddess40]

and now is in the process of changing.

I'm at a loss, I don't know how to help her. I have no money to help other then to buy her meds on occasion.

The nearest PFLAG is in the next city and doesn't meet in the summer. My hubby is having a very hard time adjusting and believes it's a phase - mostly because the kid has already had a hard life but this is going to make it more difficult. She lost her job due to being honest with her employer

any ideas

[Kalidurga]

1. I wish I had ideas

She needs you to be a support system which it looks like you are. She might need some tips on advocating for herself and a lawyer even if an employee is an at will employee discrimination in most cases is still illegal. I don't understand your husband people who don't just accept other people have minds that are alien to mine.

[shraby]

2. Just being there for your child when things get hard is a lot.

It may not seem like it, but it is.

[Behind the Aegis]

3. There are on-line groups which can help or lead you to local sources.

Honestly, all you can do is love her and try to help when needed. You can always look for a local counselor. I can help you with questions to ask and how to gage reactions of perspective counselors.

Are there any gay bars in your town? If so, you can go and check it out because many have bulletin boards with local help groups and "cool" counselors. Sometimes, they will even have "avoid these people/places" types of flyers. You can also check out Planned Parenthood because sometimes they also have good GLBT sources. There are some good transgender sources on-line, but I don't know how good they are as far as providing help.

Give she has lost her job because of her status, depending on your state, you may be able to peruse a legal recourse, assuming you aren't in one of the 23 states that doesn't protect us.

I hope this is helpful.

[Skittles]

4. goddess

just the fact that you are accepting / standing by your child and are willing to do what it takes to help her is THE most important initial step......I notice you've posted very late so give your question some time; there are some wonderful trans DUers who may be able to advise

[Warpy]

5. Maybe open your ears and listen

and baby her when the transition gets tough.

You're already giving her the gift of respecting who she is. A lot of families don't do that. It's a pretty powerful and amazing gift, the gift of unconditional love.

[theHandpuppet]

6. You might find some of these links useful

http://www.tsroadmap.com/info/transgender-forum.html
http://www.hrc.org/resources/entry/transgender-visibility-guide
http://www.hrc.org/topics/transgender?gclid=CJXBwqamuMACFaVZ7AodfikAVA
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Transgender/support-group
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Transgender-Online-Support-Group/312097918805457
http://iamtransgendered.com/SupportGroups.aspx
http://www.tglynnsplace.com/online-support.htm

[MillennialDem]

7. I was that oldest child 12 years ago

Not sure how old your oldest is but I started out at 22 transitioning. I have one younger brother. My mother was relatively supportive but it took her a long time to come around name and pronoun wise.

It sounds like you've already done that and more. You can assure her father it's not a phase.

Also does she have insurance or whatever state run program that the ACA has implemented? She can likely get a lot of things covered - there have been a huge # of wins in the last year for transgender medical treatment. Just be prepared to fight the insurance co and send them documentation that transgender treatment is not experimental and has been around for a long time and it is the only thing that cures it. You can also send them articles that say ACA is starting to cover trans treatments more and more and threaten to sue them if they don't comply.

Also that firing may be illegal. I'm not sure if your oldest is some high school or college kid and it was some crappy part time job not worth going to the mat over but a lot of trans people have been winning lawsuits based on "sex discrimination".

If you have any questions, please PM me.