Alzheimer's. I am thankful that nobody in my blood line has ever gotten it

[nadinbrzezinski]

But the woman that helped my mother has it. She is at mid stage of it and I have a good relation with his daughter in law and son. I am a good listener, but for people who have been there, how useful are online support groups? I am willing to do the research for them in Mexico, and I am 3000 miles, frustrating, so cannot even offer a tad more help than a virtual ear.

No, she is not my mom, but she played a critical role in my life...and even came to my wedding.

[russspeakeasy]

1. I have not used the on line groups, but your words

that I am deliberately taking out of context will be repeated thousands of times....3000 miles and frustrating. I'm on family member number 4 with this horrid disease.
The number one thing I have learned is to listen and agree.
And know that they will have some pretty good days and some that are total shit.
Complete personality changes also come with the territory.
Best of luck to you and your friend.

[nadinbrzezinski]

2. Thanks.

Best wishes. I already kno there are plenty of shitty days.

[Loryn]

3. My dad has it.

He is doing very well on Aricept. I know it won't last forever, but he is happy & keeps busy. Right now I think our relationship is the best it's ever been. He has totally forgotten to criticize everything I do!

[pnwmom]

4. Half of people over 85 have it, so you're very lucky. nt

[enough]

5. I took care of my elderly mother and father, both with dementia.

This went on for several years and I was their primary caregiver the entire time, with daily and hourly contact. They have both since died.

I would not have gotten through the experience without the CAREGIVERS FORUM of the Alzheimer's Association:

http://www.alzconnected.org/discussion.aspx?g=topics&f=151

That is the link to a literal lifeline for anyone taking care of a person with Alzheimer's, whether you are living in the same house with them or trying to support and understand from 3000 miles away.

While I was a caregiver, I had that forum up on my computer just about 24 hours a day. That is the place to get the REAL answers and the REAL understanding from people who are in the trenches right along with you.

You won't find false cheerfulness, but you will find true inspiration and real humor. You will never be judged, and nobody will be giving you "good" advice about what you "should" be doing. Everybody there knows what it's really like.

The best thing anyone can do who is connected to an Alzheimer's patient is to sign up for the Caregivers Forum, read, learn, and participate!