Midwives for the Dying

[xchrom]

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/12/midwives-for-the-dying/282344/



With the holidays approaching, it is a fitting time to think about dying. It has long been known that more people die in winter than any other season, but a 2010 review of nearly 60 million U.S. deaths showed that Christmas is the single most common day of death, with New Year Day close behind. Dying, like life, can go poorly or well, and those who know it well are in a position to make an important difference. In the last few decades a new type of health professional has emerged whose contributions to dying resemble—of all people—those of a midwife.

For millennia, midwives have cared for and assisted childbearing women throughout pregnancy, labor, birth, and the postpartum period. Particularly for women who have never given birth before, the support and experience of a midwife can reduce anxiety and confusion, decrease pain, and at least at times, even make the experience more peaceful.

The parallels between birth and death are numerous and remarkable. Like birth, dying is often associated with pain, uncertainty, and fear. In both cases, there is lots of waiting, certain signs occur reliably, and the final timing is not predictable. In neither case are health professionals in control. In death as in birth, patience, kindness, and privacy can make the experience more healing, bringing out more of the good and less of the bad in people. And a health professional with appropriate training and experience can do a lot to help patients and families negotiate both transitions.

One person who regularly plays this role is Peg Nelson, nurse practitioner and director of pain and palliative services as St Joseph’s Mercy Oakland Hospital in Pontiac Michigan. Peg has been a nurse for thirty-three years and brings fifteen years of experience in palliative care to her patients. She is the recipient of numerous awards for her work, which she now regards as her life’s calling.

[intaglio]

1. The "wise women" of ancient communities

They helped the birth and laid out the dead.

[toby jo]

2. I have a friend from Seattle who's been doing this since the 80's.

On the flip side, I remember when my son was conceived, seeing this high and beautiful energy roll out from within somewhere, like a fern frond, and touching my body. Now, when he was born, I saw the root of that energy, same place, and got the distinct impression of there being a being/consciousness there, and a bit of a letting go within that spirit. It reminded me of 'someone watching over me'. So, a 'dying' from that plateau to this. And the process goes around, from here to there.

It's all a circle of light energy.

Pretty stuff, our spirits.

[IrishAyes]

3. Working with hospice patients was one of the most gratifying experiences in my life.

I saw so much and heard so many stories from others that I learned a certain comfort with death. That's not meant to sound cruel or heartless. It heightened my awareness of how thin the veil between planes of life can be. And I never felt more needed or appreciated.

When hospice first got started, though, often there was an incredible amount of ignorance. W/o prior consent, people were still deprived of fluids in a mistaken effort at kindness to keep them from lingering. I went to care for a woman in her last hours one night; she was frantic, kept trying to claw her way out of bed. I told her exhausted husband to go and take a long bath to soothe his own nerves. As soon as I heard the bathroom door shut, I got the lady what she needed more than anything else - a little drink of water. She looked at me like I was God himself, settled right down, and left moments later. What I did was illegal, but what I'd been told to do was immoral.

Thankfully the system has matured since those days.