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Wed Apr 24, 2013, 12:06 PM

finding a sponsor

any experience, strength, hope or just plain advice on finding one you can work well with? I'm not fitting well with the one who was geographically close.

14 replies, 1888 views

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Arrow 14 replies Author Time Post
Reply finding a sponsor (Original post)
irisblue Apr 2013 OP
libodem Apr 2013 #1
Old Codger Apr 2013 #2
mountain grammy May 2013 #6
libodem May 2013 #7
mountain grammy May 2013 #8
libodem May 2013 #9
mountain grammy May 2013 #10
NMDemDist2 Apr 2013 #3
angelabice May 2013 #12
charin Apr 2013 #4
NMDemDist2 Apr 2013 #5
irisblue May 2013 #14
angelabice May 2013 #11
irisblue May 2013 #13

Response to irisblue (Original post)

Wed Apr 24, 2013, 12:51 PM

1. Find somebody you respect

Who has a similar story. That way they understand where you are coming from. If you can find someone of the same sex and around the same age or older. Someone who has been a sponsor before or maybe who even has a good sponsor themselves, from whom they have learned.

Pick someone who will help you stay honest, whom you can't fool. Someone who will challenge you with teh tough love. It will be bonus to have someone encourage you to work your steps. Someone to read your fearless and searching moral inventory who will not be judgemental and who will help you make amends to anyone who may have been hurt along the way, unless doing so would make it worse.

Yep, somebody tough and strong but full of love and understanding. Someday you will be returning the favor and taking those 2 am phone calls and listening to someone who needs to make it one day st a time.

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Response to libodem (Reply #1)

Thu Apr 25, 2013, 09:44 AM

2. DITTO n/t

 

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Response to libodem (Reply #1)

Wed May 1, 2013, 05:04 PM

6. libodem, you're wisdom here is welcomed. I'm learning from you, and I'm here to learn.

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Response to mountain grammy (Reply #6)

Wed May 1, 2013, 05:53 PM

7. That is so darn nice of you

I'm an adult child of alcoholics, it helps to have personal experience. My folks sobered up in AA and were sober 30 years together. They both did Alanon, too.

Yesterday I called a realtor in my old hometown. I have to sell the family home. My two youngest brothers set up camp in there and wouldn't leave. I had to serve them with an eviction notice to get them to budge. Anyway, I'm a little ashamed of the situation and waited 'til almost the end to give my family name.
They guy says Oh, I know the family. I thought Oh, god. He goes on how he is twenty years sober and that my dad had been his sponsor. Must be kismit, I meet him tomorrow at one to start this ball rolling.

It works.

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Response to libodem (Reply #7)

Wed May 1, 2013, 06:08 PM

8. Your experience shows. I've known many who wouldn't be alive without AA.

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Response to mountain grammy (Reply #8)

Wed May 1, 2013, 06:44 PM

9. my mom and dad

Were very inspirational to me. They had me go to a few meetings with them at the Anderson center, were it was an exchange and everyone spoke. But the one I really remember was a speakers meeting, where my dad was the speaker. He talked about being so bad off that if he didn't drink he'd start the DT's but if he kept drinking he'd be in a blackout. He was an intellectual atheist as well, he hated the idea that AA might mean some kind of religious affiliation. He coped.

Some of my former patients from New Hope Center, were at that speakers meeting. The whole thing was amazing.

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Response to libodem (Reply #9)

Wed May 1, 2013, 06:49 PM

10. As a teenager, a good friend's mom was in AA.

I went to several meeting with them. She was a good Catholic but felt like alcoholism had nothing to do with her faith and her faith had little to do with her recovery. She owned it. She said her HP was her son and future grandchildren.

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Response to irisblue (Original post)

Thu Apr 25, 2013, 08:12 PM

3. some woman who carrys a big book into the meeting and when called on

talks about the big book and the steps.

then all that other stuff above. but a sponsor is there to teach you to do the steps in your life every day in every situation. so they better be someone who does that themselves.

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Response to NMDemDist2 (Reply #3)

Tue May 7, 2013, 03:25 PM

12. great

great idea

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Response to irisblue (Original post)

Sun Apr 28, 2013, 01:24 AM

4. Step meeting

I found my sponsor at my home group, a step meeting. Someone who is a regular at a step meeting and is a good AA. My sponsor is not a guru, but he knows the steps, that's what I needed back then and he is still my sponsor all these years later.

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Response to charin (Reply #4)

Sun Apr 28, 2013, 12:22 PM

5. welcome to DU & A&R!!

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Response to charin (Reply #4)

Tue May 7, 2013, 06:17 PM

14. welcome to DU and our "room" .

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Response to irisblue (Original post)

Tue May 7, 2013, 03:17 PM

11. i am available

Let me know what to do asap

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Response to angelabice (Reply #11)

Tue May 7, 2013, 05:37 PM

13. PM me we can talk abit

Welcome to DU, And, sure we can talk. cyber coffee time in the rooms

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