My face looks better. (Yay!)

[Solly Mack]

The steroids and antibiotics are working.

How fortunate for the " chemo rash" to start clearing up just in time for the radiation burns to really begin to show.

Woohoo! Not horrible yet but I did have one rather nasty looking burn. It looks better today. I was told more would follow.

Doc says I'm "right on schedule" with the side effects. Being typical can be comforting.

I have 3 more weeks of Chemo (3 doses) and 3 more weeks of radiation (15 treatments).

I'm at the half way mark.

I've lost too much weight and I am heading toward the danger zone of weight loss. (for my height/normal weight zone)

I am trying to eat. I do force myself to eat. It seems my entire day is spent eating (or trying to eat or thinking about eating).

5-6 small meals a day coupled with things like Boost and Ensure.

It's not that food taste like paper to me or anything. I could deal with that.

It's the horrible salty taste of food that is doing me in.

It's like eating a spoonful of salt in every bite.

I choke down what I can but then when I get too sick to eat more I stop. Usually after 4-5 bites. (2 hours later I drink a supplement...and 2 hours after that I try food again...and I'm still losing...though I have managed to lose less this week than last week)

I got a new drug with chemo that put a stop to all my nausea. (YES!!!)

I'm eating a lot of high calorie food - which is a change for me. Added whole milk, full fat products to my diet. More meat. Lots of ice cream and frozen yoghurt.


The dry mouth has gotten worse. I keep water with me constantly and I have several rinses for the problem. As well as toothpaste for it. Still...sucks.

I'm tired. Not just from the effects of the treatment.....but tired of going to the hospital 5 days a week. Tired of it all. The food hassles, the 100 mile drive 5 days a week, trying to be upbeat when I just want it all to stop. Tired of the incredibly nice hospital employees asking me how I feel today. Because I feel like warmed over shit. I. am. just. plain. tired.

Thank you for listening.


Hope you're all doing well.

[CC]

1. I am glad things are going

as well as expected but wishing some of the side effects would at least diminish. You are allowed to feel what ever you feel including tired, frustrated, brave... Sometimes it is good to have a good cry, scream fit whatever just as long as you are willing to pick yourself up after and put on foot in front of the other. Hugs and sending healing vibes, prayers and thoughts your way.

[Solly Mack]

2. Thank you, CC.

I would cry but I'm afraid to lose the water weight.

[CC]

5. Good to know you still have your

sense of humor.

[JimDandy]

3. So sorry that you are having to endure not just the cancer

but the side effects of treatment. Thank you for chronicling what you are going through. It has given me some education on the whole cancer treatment process. I feel a bit awful to be learning from the very thing that is causing you such misery, though.

[Solly Mack]

4. Thank you, JimDandy.

Don't feel awful. It's how we learn about a lot of things...seeing what others go through.


I hope you never have to learn firsthand.

[sinkingfeeling]

6. You're doing great! I'm glad your food only tastes like paper. I thought

it tasted like somebody's dirty socks!

Unfortunately, I still have to carry a water bottle with me everywhere after 5 years.

Hope they have given you something for the burns.

[Solly Mack]

7. :o)

Yep. If you're right on schedule then you're doing great.

And I'm right on schedule. lol

Yeah. The water bottle and I will be life long friends.

I can only use aloe on the burns. Have 2 huge bottles of the good stuff. It helps.

Got an emulsion for the mouth and throat sores.

Just not feeling my best is all.

Food tastes like salty sawdust (mostly salt) to me...I wish it tasted like paper.

[Tracer]

8. Have you tried Biotene for your dry mouth?

Strange the way chemo does weird things to one's taste buds.

It made all the food I ate taste DISGUSTING! The only thing that I could eat was food that was white -- yogurt, cream of wheat, milk etc.

Sooner or later, it does get better.

[Solly Mack]

9. Yes. I use Biotene mouth rinse and toothpaste.

Thanks! Just having a bad week.

[Tab]

10. Good for you!

I'm not looking forward to my next round (not planned yet) because my onc tells me I've exhausted the "good drugs". Glad to know it'll wear off. Best to you!

[Solly Mack]

12. Thanks, Tab.

Best to you, too!!

[slipslidingaway]

11. Great, although ...

I have to smile at the upbeat hospital employees ... they try to do their best.

Keep moving forward

[Solly Mack]

13. They really are nice.

I just want to snarl at them.