My mom charged me twice today

[EFerrari]

while screaming that I was attacking her.

I emailed my brother and he called me back.

But I don't have very much confidence that this situation will get better. Tired.

[Viva_La_Revolution]

1. Caregivers have the hardest job

sending you strength and good vibes.

The doc put my Gram on Paxil when she started to get mean (Alzheimers) and it has helped A LOT. normally I'm not an advocate of more drugs, but this completely changed her whole demeanor.

[EFerrari]

2. I don't know anything about Alzheimer's and Mom only has medicare

so her care is not great.

At this point, she seems like Jekyll and Hyde. Super competent and super out of it at times. Is this how it happens?

[Neoma]

3. I'm out of the loop here, what does your mom have?

[Lionessa]

4. My grandfather had a severe case for quite a while. And yes,

the Jekyll Hyde is somewhat normal. The hardest part for those around my grandfather seemed to be remembering he had no control over it. It wasn't his fault, and it's not your mom's. Just learn to dodge, try to keep a sense of humor, and never take it personally.

My fil had a more brief bout and he seemed better, but he was a drinker and by 3pm was pretty laid back and mil allowed him just enough the rest of the day to keep him that way.

[Viva_La_Revolution]

12. Every person is different and will show different symptoms

sometimes it's just dementia, sometimes they can call it Alzheimers. It's normal for them to have good moments and bad, and unfortunately you just never know what they'll react to and what they won't.
Someone might have to take power of attorney over her affairs, then you can go to the doctor with her and find out what's really going on.

and we're always here for you

[EFerrari]

13. Last year I had the presence of mind to have her sign a release

so her doctor could talk to me, but that's all I have for now.

I'm going to go wrap up my wrist and try to think about something else for a while.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

5. gosh, went through that last year with my Mom. made me bone tired and soul weary

it was rough going for awhile before getting her meds adjusted.

[EFerrari]

6. Mom isn't on any meds right now.

Just out of the blue, when we're talking, she puts her hands over her ears and starts screaming.

I may have that effect on people, lol, but this is new for us.

I guess I have to get her to the doctor's somehow.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

7. my Mom had back surgery last year with complications from the anasthesia

and she did not get her ativan the whole time she was in the hospital. I don't know why she didn't get it but, by the time she came home she had gone psychotic from withdrawl and was having visual and auditory hallucinations and was totally out of her mind. She fell and had internal bleeding and had to out her back in the hospital. It was very draining for me both physically and emotionally.

[EFerrari]

8. My mom is very healthy

but she hasn't let go of anything in the way of projects on this ranch. So, she is under a lot of stress all the time. She had been approved to refinance just before the crash and then, her loan was never funded so, to be fair, she's just been trying to hang on.

But on the other hand, it's too much for her and she won't let me take over any part of it even though I have experience doing exactly that. She mostly acts as if I'm her enemy when she's stressed out. It's paranoia and so sad because of anyone on this planet, she can trust me to look out for her.

I need to get to her to a doctor and before that, need to make sure the doctor is competent. Tag!

[Tuesday Afternoon]

9. oh gosh.

My Mom is 74 and always acted like a big sister and now basically she wants to be the younger sister. I could go on but, right now we are in a good place relationship wise and I don't want to jinx it. Best of luck with yours.

[EFerrari]

10. Thanks and good luck.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

11. thanks and good luck to us all --

[libodem]

14. I'm so sorry

It hurts to have your own mother turn on you. I had much the same trouble with my mom before she passed.

I worked as an RN, in a locked unit, and even with extensive information an experience, it cut me to the quick to have her be mean to me.

[EFerrari]

15. Yep.

I've been here with her before, during the years she was alcoholic, as the person that made sure she didn't die for about 7 years. By some miracle, she managed to finally sober up and has been for more than 30 years now. But this stuff sure is pushing my buttons real good.

I need a Plan B and a mantra to help me the next time because I was as flatfooted as possible this time.

[mdmc]

16. hugs my friend

[fizzgig]

17. good luck to you

[momto3]

18. I am sorry to hear this.

My grandmother had Alzheimers and I remember watching her change. Some days she would be angry and/or confused and then others she was fine. Towards the end (she died of cancer) she was extremely paranoid and frightened. for me, it helped to put myself in her shoes and try to imagine what it wold be like if I woke up every day and did not know who or where I was.

I was not the primary care giver for her, but I know that I will be for my mother if/when she develops Alzheimers.

You need to make sure that you have a support group as well. I cannot imagine the pain and difficulty you must be facing.

[EFerrari]

19. The second part of this is that Mom has horse boarders here

who are in a co-op arrangement with her and she is not managing them very well. They do all kinds of dangerous or destructive things and she will not rein them in or back me up when I try to. She's been managing different kinds of tenants for forty years but in the last few years or so, her awareness is lowered and she avoids conflict of any kind wth them which doesn't work as a long term solution.

So, they are littering, drinking on the property, bringing animals that don't belong here, not watching their kids, a long list of problems and nothing can be done about them because Mom will not manage them and she will not back me up when I set limits.

For now, rather than approach her in person since it upsets her so much she loses her stuff, I'm just emailing reports to her and copying my brother. At least I'll have some kind of log of what is happening here. This situation makes me deeply uneasy and I have no solution for it yet. It's an accident waiting to happen.

[Marrah_G]

20. I'm going to suggest that you call your local elderly services

It sounds like you need to get power of attorney for your mother's safety and for your own.

[EFerrari]

21. We're not there yet as Mum is good 95% of the time, for now.

But, yes, that has to be on the horizon.

Thanks, Marrah_G

[Marrah_G]

22. hugssss

I know how hard this must be for you. I'm fortunate to have both parents who are incredibly healthy and active, but I know that its just a matter of time as they are close to 80. My thoughts are with you. Just make sure ot get as much help as possible from your local resources. And your Du family is always here for you if you need us.

[EFerrari]

23. I can't tell you how much that means to me.

[mopinko]

24. how's it goin' out there?

how's the garden?

[EFerrari]

25. Slowly. I hope to have someone roto-til the garden part of my area today or tomorrow

and today I started some chiles in ice cube trays and egg cartons.

Great balmy weather, though, good for starting seeds.

That light box seems to be doing something because my mind is just working better. More energy, more interest. It may be the best $35 I've ever spent.