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Mon Jun 21, 2021, 01:27 PM

does anyone here ruminate?

my therapist and I are working on negative anticipatory stress and mindfulness.

Full disclosure: I'm assuming stress is causing this, but I tend to run potential conversations through my head that never happened or I think should happen. And I've been trying to stop. It makes me feel like I'm looney tunes.

I feel our brains get used to certain thoughts, negative or positive, and thinking them constantly almost makes a groove in our thought processes. Like a roller coaster track.

Thank God I have DU for distraction!

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Arrow 33 replies Author Time Post
Reply does anyone here ruminate? (Original post)
XanaDUer2 Jun 2021 OP
PortTack Jun 2021 #1
XanaDUer2 Jun 2021 #2
KT2000 Jun 2021 #3
jpak Jun 2021 #4
I_UndergroundPanther Jul 2021 #33
JackSabbath Jun 2021 #5
XanaDUer2 Jun 2021 #6
Buckeye_Democrat Jun 2021 #7
XanaDUer2 Jun 2021 #11
Buckeye_Democrat Jun 2021 #16
SheltieLover Jun 2021 #22
SheltieLover Jun 2021 #21
Buckeye_Democrat Jun 2021 #29
SheltieLover Jun 2021 #30
Runningdawg Jun 2021 #8
multigraincracker Jun 2021 #9
XanaDUer2 Jun 2021 #10
samnsara Jun 2021 #12
XanaDUer2 Jun 2021 #13
mopinko Jun 2021 #14
XanaDUer2 Jun 2021 #15
mopinko Jun 2021 #17
Karadeniz Jun 2021 #18
Sneederbunk Jun 2021 #19
XanaDUer2 Jun 2021 #20
SheltieLover Jun 2021 #23
XanaDUer2 Jun 2021 #24
SheltieLover Jun 2021 #25
XanaDUer2 Jun 2021 #26
SheltieLover Jun 2021 #27
SheltieLover Jun 2021 #28
littlemissmartypants Jun 2021 #31
XanaDUer2 Jun 2021 #32

Response to XanaDUer2 (Original post)

Mon Jun 21, 2021, 01:29 PM

1. Go thru spells..not very often, but yes I do sometimes

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Response to PortTack (Reply #1)

Mon Jun 21, 2021, 01:33 PM

2. thanks for sharing

I silently yell NO but it's a bitch to stop sometimes.

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Response to XanaDUer2 (Original post)

Mon Jun 21, 2021, 01:38 PM

3. I have

at one time it was bad until I realized it is just a loop. If I catch myself even approaching doing that again, I just say something out loud or change what I am doing. That seems to break the loop.

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Response to XanaDUer2 (Original post)

Mon Jun 21, 2021, 01:39 PM

4. Yup

I chew my cud

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Response to jpak (Reply #4)

Thu Jul 22, 2021, 08:04 AM

33. 😹

Yeah got PTSD
I chew a lot of cud,myself.

Getting slowly better at catching it and distracting myself from it.

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Response to XanaDUer2 (Original post)

Mon Jun 21, 2021, 01:42 PM

5. Yep.

I do that too. I find it to be useful and relaxing. Wouldn't want it to go away. It seems to allow me to navigate unexpected situations more calmly.

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Response to JackSabbath (Reply #5)

Mon Jun 21, 2021, 01:45 PM

6. Interesting take

it kinda makes me more anxious, especially if it's a convo I shouldn't have or say to anyone!

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Response to XanaDUer2 (Original post)

Mon Jun 21, 2021, 01:53 PM

7. Sure, I do it often.

Ruminate definition:
1. think deeply about something

I had to ruminate often over difficult math problems in college, for example.

Einstein couldn't have solved General Relativity without ruminating about it.

Conversely, people like Trump barely ruminate about anything before opening their big yaps.

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Response to Buckeye_Democrat (Reply #7)

Mon Jun 21, 2021, 02:36 PM

11. it's the word my shrink uses

I call it silent ranting

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Response to XanaDUer2 (Reply #11)

Mon Jun 21, 2021, 04:09 PM

16. Okay.

I wish the shrink would use a different word, like obsession or something. But even that word doesn't necessarily imply anything mentally unhealthy.

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Response to XanaDUer2 (Reply #11)

Mon Jun 21, 2021, 06:35 PM

22. Pls see #21

Rumination can significantly contribute to depression, just as worrying about the future can cause anxiety.

The past is history, tomorrow but a dream. All we have is the present, which is a gift.

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Response to Buckeye_Democrat (Reply #7)

Mon Jun 21, 2021, 06:33 PM

21. In mental health, ruminating means going over & over & over

Malignant memories or coulda woulda shoulda. Contributes greatly to depression.

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Response to SheltieLover (Reply #21)

Tue Jun 22, 2021, 05:59 AM

29. Thanks!

I can see how that could cause problems!

I've done it too, like after a divorce long ago.

A serendipitous discovery about her addiction to cocaine, which I didn't even realize had started during our marriage, helped immensely to settle the matter in my mind. And nearly all of my rumination about the sudden change of her behavior proved to be pointless self-flagellation. Although it helped teach me to focus on my own character and to not think too much about other people, of whom I ultimately have no control and often little influence.

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Response to Buckeye_Democrat (Reply #29)

Tue Jun 22, 2021, 06:40 AM

30. Yw

Perfect example! 👍

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Response to XanaDUer2 (Original post)

Mon Jun 21, 2021, 01:54 PM

8. Constantly. I gave up trying to control it years ago, trying and failing was worse.

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Response to XanaDUer2 (Original post)

Mon Jun 21, 2021, 02:19 PM

9. Had a therapist years ago tell me

85% of the things we worry about never end up happening.
I kept a record of them years ago and his numbers were right on the money.

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Response to multigraincracker (Reply #9)

Mon Jun 21, 2021, 02:35 PM

10. Thanks

he's right. I'm out of work on fmla due to stress for a month.
My doctor will extend that, and I'm scared to tell my nutty boss. I feel like I'm letting my coworkers down being out.

I've applied for ssdi, and it'll take a long time to get it.

I'm facing a 50% salary drop, and I'm worried.

Thanks for replying

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Response to XanaDUer2 (Original post)

Mon Jun 21, 2021, 02:47 PM

12. oh heck yeah...

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Response to samnsara (Reply #12)

Mon Jun 21, 2021, 03:04 PM

13. If I may ask

how does it manifest.? I have conversations in my mind, repetively. Sometimes, I actually speak.

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Response to XanaDUer2 (Original post)

Mon Jun 21, 2021, 03:18 PM

14. my mental to-do-list is the voice of the devil.

as someone w an autoimmune disorder, every day i have to juggle what i need to do with how much energy i have to do it.
i was having huge anxiety issues. every time i walked by some chore that i was avoiding, it became a greek chorus.
started having trouble getting to sleep. boy, was i haunted by their songs.

got meds that helped, but things undone still have a very sharp edge.

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Response to mopinko (Reply #14)

Mon Jun 21, 2021, 03:38 PM

15. Thanks for sharing



My "conversations" revolve around work. I'm off, and still thinking about the fucking place and people.

Disability is not easy

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Response to XanaDUer2 (Reply #15)

Mon Jun 21, 2021, 04:38 PM

17. sometimes it's my kids.

then i review every fuck up i can recall, and feel like shit, and try to figure out how to make it not hurt them any more.

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Response to XanaDUer2 (Original post)

Mon Jun 21, 2021, 05:31 PM

18. Two ruminators: 3 yr old Deerie and 2 wk old fawn, JoJo.

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Response to XanaDUer2 (Original post)

Mon Jun 21, 2021, 05:34 PM

19. Thought it was something a cow does.

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Response to Sneederbunk (Reply #19)

Mon Jun 21, 2021, 06:21 PM

20. As I posted upthread

my shrink calls it that.

I'm open to better descriptors

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Response to XanaDUer2 (Reply #20)

Mon Jun 21, 2021, 06:36 PM

23. Your therapist is using the correct term

Pls see #21.

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Response to SheltieLover (Reply #23)

Mon Jun 21, 2021, 06:40 PM

24. he's a good therapist!

glad he's got the term right!

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Response to XanaDUer2 (Reply #24)

Mon Jun 21, 2021, 06:48 PM

25. It means to go over & over & over

Negative stuff or coulda, shoulda, wouldas.

Glad you have a great therapist!

Have you tried Yale's free Science of Well Being Course?

Perhaps talk with therapist about trying it. Mindfulness - great stuff!

But you seem a bit unsettled, so please do with therapist's approval.

To quell my own rumination, I just fill my head with other things: sing a son, read a book, etc.

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Response to SheltieLover (Reply #25)

Mon Jun 21, 2021, 06:50 PM

26. thanks

you're always so supportive! DU is a godsend.

Now I'm ruminating about ruminating

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Response to XanaDUer2 (Reply #26)

Mon Jun 21, 2021, 07:20 PM

27. Lololol

Ty for your kind compliment.

Have you read about self-compassion?

Imagine your best friend is going through whatever your current challenges are. What would you say to her or him?

Then say it to yourself!

We are no less deserving of compassion than others are.

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Response to XanaDUer2 (Reply #26)

Mon Jun 21, 2021, 07:23 PM

28. Here is Dr. Kristin Neff's website on self-compassion (benchmark)

Great stuff & sounds like you could use it - we all can!

https://self-compassion.org/

Your energy will go to where you focus your attention.

So why not focus on great self-care & eliminate the rumination & negative self-talk, if any?

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Response to XanaDUer2 (Original post)

Tue Jun 22, 2021, 10:47 AM

31. This came to my mind. Perseverate or Ruminate?

Do you Perseverate or Ruminate?
April 15, 2015 ē 9 Likes ē 4 Comments

Carrie Arnold, PhD, MCC

Author | Leadership Consultant & Executive Coach | Public Speaker | Evidence Based Coaching Program Director at Fielding Graduate University

As an executive coach, I work with clients on a variety of leadership issues. Recently the distinction between perseveration and rumination has surfaced in my work. Many clients will use a coaching session to debrief and untangle their thinking about something that has already happened. For different reasons, they cannot let go of the conversation. They are perseverating.

When you perseverate, you have the tendency to repeat an experience over and over (especially when you are trying to sleep at night). This is not positive, and it keeps you in a place of self-doubt, questioning everything you said and did. Itís almost like your brain will not allow the memory to be stored, and you keep reliving the experience. It can be exhausting with little return. It corrodes confidence and is a barrier to leadership effectiveness.

An answer to this cognitive energy drain is to move from perseveration to rumination. Rumination is something our cud-loving cows do quite well. They chew again what has already been slightly chewed and swallowed. Itís when a person goes over something repeatedly, in their mind, but in a slow and casual way. Itís a contemplative state allowing you to mentally chew on something. One could ruminate about the patterns of someoneís behavior or the fears that keep one from taking action. Itís the difference between being on the dance floor versus on the balcony. An elevated view brings a different perspective.

Rumination allows you to see something more objectively and disentangle yourself from some of the emotions. The following questions can help you shift from perseverating to ruminating:

More at the link.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/do-you-perseverate-ruminate-carrie-arnold-ma-pcc-bcc

For the record, I think I do both but not to the point of extremes.

❤pants

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Response to littlemissmartypants (Reply #31)

Tue Jun 22, 2021, 11:49 AM

32. Thank you for your informative, thoughtful post nt

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