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[Denninmi]

This message was self-deleted by its author (Denninmi) on Thu Feb 21, 2013, 03:23 AM. When the original post in a discussion thread is self-deleted, the entire discussion thread is automatically locked so new replies cannot be posted.

[ZombieHorde]

1. ...

[Downwinder]

2. My MS was diagnosed as bipolar among other things.

The MRI changed that and Interferon brought me out of depression.

[pipi_k]

3. Wow this is a coincidence

I was going to post a thread of my own on this very subject.

Lying to friends and family about my disability.

Here is the thing. As far as I'm concerned, we're not obligated to tell the truth to anybody.

I have reasons for lying...or not being totally honest about my disability. People do not understand. I actually understand why they don't get it. Anxiety disorders are hard to understand. Panic disorder. Agoraphobia. Social anxiety disorder. etc.

I started having panic attacks in 1962 at the age of ten. In 1972 I was 20 and started into full-blown agoraphobia, and it was another 13 years, at least, before I was diagnosed.

So all that time when I didn't know what was going on, I learned to lie or find an excuse for not being able to go someplace. Because all those years I never knew what was wrong.

Now my first inclination is to lie.

I've had it with people saying there's nothing wrong. With people telling me I can go someplace if I close my eyes till we get there.

That's not how it works.

Oh, and I had a niece joke around (maybe half joking) with Mr Pipi that he should just slip me some Xanax when I'm not looking so I could go to her Bridal shower last month. Ummmm....no.

I have a phobia of drugs anyway. I've tried medications for panic and agoraphobia (and depression) and the side effects were terrible.

One of the worst things anyone could ever do would be to sneak meds into me. Talk about trust issues? My trust for that person would be less than zero after that.

anyway...if anyone ever does find out you lied to them about your condition, there's a good explanation. If you've ever been shamed or denigrated for your condition, that's good enough reason NOT to trust anyone with the truth again, as far as I'm concerned.

[Tobin S.]

5. Bipolar disorder is a physical disease.

Most people don't know that, but that's the reality as it is with all mental illnesses.

It sounds to me as if you've been treated badly by your family over the years. I wouldn't feel bad morally for lying to them. As Pipi and I have said, you are not obligated to tell anyone the truth about your illness. I do when it's important to me that someone know about my illness, like my wife or when I go to the doctor. Otherwise, nobody really needs to know.

[pipi_k]

8. Well, yes...

that's always an option too.

Refusing to discuss it, I mean. Especially if it's going to bother you big time to lie.

Like you, I'm not a very good liar, and I don't like doing it. Except when it comes to very very personal things.

I wish my first reaction could be, "I'd rather not discuss it, thanks" and then leave it at that.

Unfortunately, it's one of those things I never think of until later. Way later.

In any event, even though you don't feel so great about what you did, in the big scheme of things, you didn't do it in order to profit from it, or in order to hurt someone else. No need to beat yourself over the head or anything. And if it's ever uncovered, you do have the right to say you lied because you didn't want to discuss it but couldn't think of any other way to handle it.