Good days, bad days, we get through them, don't we!

[Denninmi]

The last two days were fine emotionally for me, but physically I just didn't feel well. I'm positive it was the seroquel I took the other night, it always seems to give me GI problems between 18 and 24 hours later. Not fun.

Last night, especially, I felt like crap. I still forced myself to bike 10 miles. This morning, I honestly wasn't sure I was going to get through the workout at Lifetime, but I did it.

Made it through, that is what counts. I keep telling myself, winners don't quit, even if it hurts.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is my new mantra. Winners don't quit.

Oh, and I got 6 hours of sleep WITHOUT the stupid seroquel. So I think I'm going to be able to handle the sleep problems without drugs. AND, I saw the neurologist today, set up sleep studies and a couple of other things. That experience was very different from the one I had last week with the opthamologist. She asked me a lot of questions about medical history, and I told her I was diagnosed with bipolar. I was kind of waiting for the weird reaction, which didn't come. So I asked her if it was a factor (which I know it is in the insomnia), and she said "not really, it isn't relevant to sleep apnea." Which was nice, her attitude was like "so what, it's just one of a thousand medical conditions patients present with". Made me feel reassured that not everyone in the world is prejudiced.

[Tobin S.]

1. Do you feel like you are stabilizing?

It seems that way to me judging from your posts. They are getting less dramatic than they used to be.

[Denninmi]

2. Well, yes, both from the lamictal and just from the fact that the big crisis is over.

And getting back to some normality, even if it's a new and different normal.

One really big thing I've noticed is that my concentration is improving a lot. I can actually look at something at work, read it, comprehend it, and work on it and not f it up. And that is really a good feeling.

Trust me, less drama would be a great thing in my life right now.

This afternoon, I'm quite sleepy, and I have NOTHING to do tonight except take care of the dog and put out the trash. So I may just go to bed very early and see how that goes. If I feel then like I do now, it should go great.

[Tobin S.]

3. Good, good, good.

I'm glad to hear it, especially about work.

[Denninmi]

4. Thanks.

I guess the other big thing, now that I thought about it while I was driving home from work, is the fact that I resolved all of the questions I had in my mind about coming out, not coming out, etc. Now that I don't feel like I'm under a death sentence, I can begin to put things in perspective.

[Denninmi]

5. 8 hours sleep last night, no drugs!

About 4 hours before midnight, then the dog woke me up to go out. Then it took me about an hour to go back to sleep, and I slept until almost five. Without seroquel or anything else.

It's great!