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Siwsan

(27,495 posts)
Sun Dec 22, 2024, 02:49 PM Dec 2024

Still not looking forward to Christmas Eve but I'm pushing forward.

I know the kids are excited, especially because their dad is joining us. My brother in law and I parted ways when the woman he took up with (his former girlfriend), shortly after my sister's death, turned out to be incredibly controlling and toxic. After she cut me to the core of my soul at my niece's wedding, I refused to attend any gathering that included her. She managed to estrange him from his kids. He finally woke up to her agenda and they have parted ways, after about 9 years. I am having some anxiety about actually socializing with him, again, but my niece assures me he is back to his old self. I hope so. We used to be so close but I have discovered he tends to mirror the personality of the woman he's seeing. Hopefully, if he finds someone else, she's a kind woman.

I know I'm not alone in feeling that it's just so hard to feel celebratory about anything, right now. Tomorrow morning I have an appointment with my therapist so that's good timing. I always feel better after talking with him. My last appointment was before Nov 5 but he did call to check if I was OK. I wasn't but really appreciated the call.

My plan is to lose myself in cooking, on Tuesday. I have some nice wine to sip while I work and will probably pull out the old CD player and pop in some Beatles CDs.

I'm staying home on Christmas Day. I know I'll get push back on that decision but I'm holding fast to it. I will be checking this forum, that's for sure.

6 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Still not looking forward to Christmas Eve but I'm pushing forward. (Original Post) Siwsan Dec 2024 OP
Siwsan.......... Upthevibe Dec 2024 #1
Classic Country True Blue American Dec 2024 #4
Arthur, Madoc, Gryff, Carys, Merlin will be with you. Polly Hennessey Dec 2024 #2
I had the same thought. Put a cat or two in your lap and things will be fine. MMBeilis Dec 2024 #6
Siwsan True Blue American Dec 2024 #3
Merry Christmas Siwsan & kitcats Chicagogrl1 Dec 2024 #5

Upthevibe

(9,465 posts)
1. Siwsan..........
Sun Dec 22, 2024, 04:01 PM
Dec 2024

It sounds like you're in a healthy place.

I'm really happy for you that your B-I-L has gotten rid of his toxic partner.

Having some wine (although I can't as a recovering alcoholic) and listening to Beatles music sounds like a wonderful way to spend Christmas.

Polly Hennessey

(7,769 posts)
2. Arthur, Madoc, Gryff, Carys, Merlin will be with you.
Sun Dec 22, 2024, 04:14 PM
Dec 2024

That alone should make for a merry Christmas 🎄
Have a good one and let us know if all turns out well.

True Blue American

(18,471 posts)
3. Siwsan
Sun Dec 22, 2024, 04:39 PM
Dec 2024

My heart hurts for you as the Christmas season is not easy for me.

Hold your head up high, show him what he is missing and concentrate on the kids.

I lost my Husband shortly after Christmas. It still hurts, but I concentrate on the family I have left.

Bless you and we all share some heartache. You are never alone! You can fill us in how it worked.

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