Need to run something by you friends-

[BeHereNow]

Just walked the fabulous fur person with my husband-
Talked about what I have been choosing, which is basically
hiding out, reclusive behavior.
I am fine with it, as I explained to my husband.
It feels right in a world of trouble.
I like the company of my fur people, not so much my so called "friends"
who all feel like energy vampires at this point in my life.
I have one friend of 25 years who calls only to talk about his troubles-
I've offered what I consider pretty good advice over the years- never taken.
In the mean while I have experienced significant personal crisis with my
beloved daughter and her mental illness problems- no one ever seems to ask-
"How are you doing?" More like "It's your fault," and by the way,
can you give me a ride from the airport-
Or endless tirades about bad dates- you name it.
I feel really safe right now- hiding out in my "cave."
Absolutely NOTHING in my life has turned out as I hoped it would-
I think it right to be able to grieve that reality in private
without the vampires trying to take my time and energy-
Calling, asking why I haven't called back-
I don't call back because I don't get what I need from
those people- it's all about them.
There is never room in their conversations for Me.
Thanks for letting me vent-
BHN

[BeHereNow]

1. Soundtrack for this post-

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[elleng]

2. Sounds ok, Be, as it 'feels right.'

[BeHereNow]

5. Thank Ellen- it does feel right.

I guess on some level, I am asking permission to retreat.
So, thank you.
BHN

[Neoma]

3. Define fur people.

Are they dogs? Cats? Ferrets? Bigfoot?

[BeHereNow]

4. Cats, a dog and horses- the only honest people I know.

They don't judge, they don't blame-
They simply love you as you are.
Who could ask for anything more?
BHN

[BeHereNow]

6. Additional disclosure- I live in LA, the most emotionally toxic city on the palnet.

All the people I sincerely have loved, musicians, have died.
The loss I feel is so great, words cannot describe.
Haven't picked up a guitar or hit my piano in nearly 6 months...
and I have some bitch assed instruments.

Crying at the loss of my interest of what used to be my life.

BHN

On edit: spell / grammar etc..

[fizzgig]

7. take care of yourself

i do the hiding out thing from time to time, i understand.

peace to you

[EFerrari]

8. It's okay to make a space for yourself to do what you need to do

to take care of yourself.

[murielm99]

9. I think it is perfectly all right to choose solitude.

If you need it to heal, that is good. If you need it to feel whole, that is fine, too. If other humans are not giving, stay away from them.

If the time comes that you need to emerge more in the world, God, the universe, whatever power you believe in, will let you know.

I see what you are doing as right and acceptable. I do it myself, as needed.