Today I found a solution for when mom drives me nuts

[EFerrari]

and I just want to tell her up one side and down the other why I'm upset and she's wrong.

I give her a hug and a kiss, and tell her I love her.

lmao

Seems like I remember having known this at some point.

[BeHereNow]

1. Ah, the path of least resistance- I know it well.

You handled it VERY well my friend.
I have to remind myself on the hour sometimes that
certain approaches do NOT work, no matter logical they seem.
The kiss and the hug ALWAYS work.
Thanks for affirming it.

BHN

[mopinko]

2. i wish i could get away with this with my daughter, but

it is like a red flag of where she is when i offer her a hug and she says no.
the offer helps a little, tho.

and yeah, i knew it when they were 2. didn't think i would still need it when they were 20.

[davidpdx]

3. I've found my solution to my mom driving me nuts

Move 7,000 miles away. That wasn't the original reason I did it, but it sure is a great benefit.

[EFerrari]

4. I could never do that.

The taking care of family, especially parents, Latino ethic was drilled into me so profoundly at an early age it's sort of part of my personality. It would feel like being a loose tooth.

When my cousin and I saw "Like Water for Chocolate" in our 30s -- a movie about how the oldest girl is supposed to relinquish her claim to autonomy or a love interest and take care of her mother as a career -- we laughed out loud through the whole movie because that was so true for us.

Some of our generational peers managed to escape, though, and our children were brought up in a different culture, although imo, the mainstream one goes too far in the other direction of enforcing separation from family as some kind of achievement.

[davidpdx]

5. Well I took care of my dad when he died 8 1/2 years ago

And I pretty much got stuck doing it alone.

They divorced when I was young. I had an unhappy childhood and a lot of problems at home. When I was in college my mom and I were pretty close and then afterward it went up and down for a few years. She lived abroad for 2 1/2 years then came back and a year later I moved abroad and am happy living overseas. When ever we are together we argue, so visits home aren't pleasant.

My mom is pretty independent anyway and only in her mid 60's and in good health.

[xfundy]

6. A-MEN!

[NNN0LHI]

7. This is just the thread I have been searching for

We are in the same situation as you with my mother living with us now. Was sitting here feeling sorry for my self. Forget that. I am going to try your suggestion. Bet it works too.

Thanks for posting this EFerrari.

Don

[EFerrari]

8. In my case, anyway,

it's a lot easier on me because I can unburden myself to good friends here.

[NNN0LHI]

9. Without question, in my case at least

I would be stark raving mad by now without the wonderful people at DU.



Don

[EFerrari]

10. Don, if you ever want to bend my ear, do that.

And this forum is a great place to practice survival ear bending.

[NNN0LHI]

11. Thank you very much for that Elizabeth

What you have done for me so far is remarkable. Your suggestion in your OP worked really well.

First thing my mother asked after I kissed her and told her I loved her was, "Have you been drinking?"

I had just brushed my teeth and used Listerine.

Thanks again. Really glad I found this thread. Its the one I was looking for.



Don

[EFerrari]

12. LOL!

[blackstripes]

13. Spam deleted by uppityperson (MIR Team)