Feel like crying all the time

[nadine_mn]

I have depression, PTSD, ADHD, borderline etc..just the usual mixed bag of mental illness. I am on medication for the depression and ADHD (which in turn helps keep those borderline tendencies under control)

But goodness - the last few weeks I just feel like crying all the time. Sometimes I do start crying, but most of the time I have that exhausted feeling you get after having a good cry.

I know a lot has been post election depression - I really try to avoid the news, but I can't help myself.

I am one of those types of people who really draws their emotional energy from those around them - so I do try to avoid negativity. I used to work as a victim advocate - was great at it because I really like helping people and people always felt comfortable confiding in me. But, whoo boy I burned out quickly. So I haven't been working for the last several years - in part I think my mental health issues finally caught up with me and I needed to seriously deal with them and also in part because I am terrified of being in a work place again. Looking back, I see how easily I was drawn into any type of drama and every time I started a new job I would vow to not get caught up in it - but I am like a magnet for it. Oh, and when I say magnet I mean as soon as someone tells me that they have been wronged in some way, I am ready for battle. Someone hurt your feelings?, stand back and bring it on. Yeah, trust me when I say that my supervisors didn't appreciate that attitude, which is why 3 yrs is about the longest I have ever lasted in one place.


So lately, I have been a bundle of outrage over all the nastiness this election seemed to bring out - I mean every election does, but this one was really nasty IMO. I know I need to take care of myself and set boundaries and all that crap - but I don't know how.

I just go around feeling defeated and sad. I used to be able to be a little ray of sunshine wherever I went (corny I know, but seriously I really try to compliment strangers, leave little notes for service workers telling them to have a nice day or that they are doing a great job, I definitely try to smile and say hello to everyone), but now I just want to hide even more than usual. I don't leave the house much as it is, but now it's getting worse.

Oh man this sounds like an awful pity party, I'm sorry. I just feel so sad - weepy sad and don't know how to shake it.

[MFM008]

1. have your med dr check your medications

sometimes they can stop working. I was on one for 6 years and it just stopped working.
Thats the first step, second, maybe check in with a counselor.
I go to my happy place a lot...
good luck your not alone.

[nadine_mn]

7. Here's the shitter - our current insurance doesn't cover mental health

We have to pay full price for dr visits. So I'm spacing out my therapist visits with my med check visits. It sucks. My therapist is awesome and I was seeing him every 2-3 wks now it's every 6-8.

When my husband was picking insurance plans he just looked to see if our dr was in network, but didn't check to see if mental health visits were covered. There isn't any supplemental we can buy either.

It's frustrating and honestly I'm so sick of health care being seen as a privilege

[shenmue]

2. Hugs

[RockCreek]

3. Where do you live?

If it is spring, and pollen is out, allergies might be making your mental health issues worse. For real. Google allergies, inflammation and depression if you don't believe me.

[irisblue]

4. Hey you..

[nadine_mn]

9. Hey thanks for needed hugs

I am currently at our vet with my ancient stubborn dog who is getting her acupuncture session. This has been relaxing for me because I know it helps her so much

[irisblue]

5. We gotta talk

Till then....hugs

[MedusaX]

6. I have found a few "therapeutic" activities

That, for me, can break the downward spiral .....

My favorite is working in the yard....

I do not have to talk to anyone ....
unless I feel like it... and even then it is limited to the exchange of basic greetings with the postal carrier or a dog walker.....

Tears can stream down my face ....
and to any passersby it looks just like perspiration....

I can mow grass, pull weeds, dig dirt, build fences/gates, lay pavers, trim shrubs, paint fence pickets, ...etc.
there is always a project to be worked on...
And I can immediately see what I have accomplished ....
I can choose to be annoyed by mischievous squirrels.... or to be entertained... depending on where I am "at".


On inclement days....
I find that engaging in research -- on any topic which is relevant at the time -- is a way to feel like I am actively contributing to the solution of a problem....

There was a sense of "control" that came with recognizing the therapeutic value of these activities and knowing that I could "use" them as frequently or infrequently as needed.

[nadine_mn]

10. I used to enjoy crafting and painting

but somehow managed to make that stressful (because I can't bring myself to make art for sake of creating art - it has to be for someone else. So have been a member of group that swaps various art or craft projects which sometimes is wonderful. However some ridiculous sense of 'perfection' has crept in and now its more stressful than relaxing)

I should go outside more - esp now before mosquitoes really come out - but again, I start judging myself - why am I outside on a nice day? I should find a job and contribute more to household...which sets off another depressive cycle of negativity. I am such a Debbie Downer to myself... I know I would be giving anyone else the same advice.

I wish I could find an off switch in my brain. I like your option of researching - that sounds like something I could get behind Maybe take some webinars as well, so I feel like I am doing something while still not brooding.

[Scruffy Rumbler]

8. You are singing the song of my people!

For the past 18 months, I was going through cycles where my medication worked and then it didn't. My lows seemed to line up with where I filled my prescription. I was using two different pharmacies in different parts of the same state. I was being given two different generics for the same name brand medication. One formulation worked, one didn't! I spoke with the pharmacy where their formulation wasn't working and they are now ordering the one that works for me!

Just wanted to bring to your attention that not all generics are the same and can change their effectiveness!

When my meds are not working, I spend days sitting and crying.

Thanks for opening yourself up to us.

Peace,

Scruffy

[nadine_mn]

11. I think that I need to keep track of what generic I am getting

I think you are right.

We had to switch pharmacies and it seems like a crap shoot what type of generic meds I get. I definitely can see that making a difference

[Scruffy Rumbler]

12. Hi Nadine_mn...

You crossed my mind today, so I thought I would say, "Hello!"

Hope you are finding bright spots between the tears.

Peace

[nadine_mn]

13. Aww thanks! That is so sweet

Today has been a good day - mainly because my 16yr old Lab mix is having a good day (she has arthritis pretty bad, every 2 wks she gets acupuncture which perks her up) and is up to shenanigans which is fantastic! Also our landlord gave us the ok to adopt a cat (we lost our old kitty last yr and are finally getting to a place were we are ready to adopt).

So furry happiness!!! Thank you again for being so kind - that means a lot to me!!

[steve2470]

14. Hang in there, talk to your doctor about your meds

You'll get plenty of support here. Is there any kind of depression support group near you ?