When Depression Can't Be Cured.
Just found this article:
"Depression doesnt go away for everyone. For most people, depression is temporary and passes naturally or once the person has expressed the feelings and resolved the thoughts causing the depression. But there is a small percentage of people who can talk about their issues, express their feelings, take very good care of themselves emotionally, even take medication and have a great life, and still be depressed throughout their lives. They may have periods of feeling good, periods of feeling less bad, and periods of feeling horriblefor these people, the depression never goes away permanently.
Major depressive disorder is the medical term for repeated episodes of a very intense, deep depression that is disabling and enormously painful. People who are bipolar experience similar disabling depression during their depressive phases. Often, between episodes, people return to a functional, happy state. Sometimes people can also have a milder depression, even between episodes of major depression."
The paragraph below describes my brand of depression very well. I hadn't realized that there was a type of Major Depressive Disorder like this Atypical:
"There are also people with atypical depression who can be in a deep depressive episode and yet appear to come out of it long enough to laugh or enjoy something briefly before sinking back in, or can act normal for short periods. This can be confusing to both the depressed person and to other people. This isnt an indication that the person is any less depressed or any less in danger than someone in a major depressive episode who doesnt have those brief breaks. Its just a different form. Atypical depression is also characterized by feeling emotionally paralyzed, physically leadenbarely able to move or engage in any activity, and often overeating, oversleeping, and experiencing sensitivity to rejection."
gears (cycles) going around larger ones. My baseline is apathetic, with deep dips into depression with some hypomanic and manic spikes, some of which can last for as long as days or weeks, or be as short as mere seconds.
Mine feels like being stuck under a 200 lb blanket, along with loneliness, hopelessness and suicidal thoughts. So bleak.
Breathing deep so that your belly rises apparently presses on the vagus nerve. That helps subdue the anxiety.
My ADD med also helps anxiety, so that's an extra benefit, for me.
Continue to breath normally but focus on the diaphragm as it rises and falls. It is very soothing. That is how I go to sleep.
I rarely have anyone to talk to but, once in a while my sister will call and we'll laugh hysterically. Then the phone is hung up and I'm alone again and crying. Never ends. I've pretty much accepted it. Especially since it's been my entire life. Someday it'll be over.
Hope you get through better than I, Blanche.
I'm having a slump, they happen pretty regularly...my therapist pushed me to get used to getting out of the house and contacting friends.
I'm not up to it lately, but by doing it I've gotten more used to doing it. Less of a mountain to climb.
I've also been going to a 12-step mtg weekly. People are beginning to talk to me -- by forcing myself to go, it's beginning to give me a sense of belonging.
But I understand too, how the darkness can just crash back down once the diversion ends.
which only rises to mild depression. Some days it is very hard for me because I love him so that I don't want him to suffer. We have an appt with his doc soon and I'm going to ask him to add either abilify or tentrillex to his effexor med regimen.
I was diagnosed as having generalized anxiety and use an SSRI, which is rather effective and I consider myself high functioning. After November, we did up my dosage and right now I don't feel like throwing myself under a train. I also work with a Buddhist Master and my life has gradually improved. I think Geshe-la has had the best influence of all these and I don't think meditation would be enough for me in this moment. So, I'm happy to pop my little pink pill in the morning.
But, I guess my question is: are meds helpful in your life? I think that whatever makes you feel better is a good thing. Without a fairly solid base line, everything goes out of control. Thanks for your feedback.
Although I'm not too socially isolated, I've had MAJOR rejection too many times in my life; people, including family, have horribly judged me without understanding conditions I've faced physically, psychologically. And that's taken a heavy toll and made me bitter. I'm lucky tho, I know exactly what would make me happy but it's not going to happen. If anyone's reading this, I know you're thinking, happiness comes from within. Folks, I've been there but I wasn't brave enough to hold on to it. How many are brave enough to purposely leave every important person in their lives? Rock, hard place. As long as I'm on an almost comfortable, non-thinking treadmill, I cope with this ever-present, gnawing sadness. The alternative pit's too deep to allow myself to even ponder again. So, I do consider myself a hellofa lot luckier than most truly suffering folks. And I'm grateful for my compassion for others.
Thanks for posting, and those who posted explaining their condition. I too suffer from depression as well as borderline personality disorder. There are moments when I self harm also, like less than a week ago because I'm adjusting to new meds.
Hugs to all who suffer and kudos for surviving each and every day.