Pets
Related: About this forumI over edited my post on the loss of my sweet Sian while in a state of shock
Sian seemed fine on Wednesday but the vet explained that sometimes cats can 'hide' their health problems until they reach a tipping point, which is what happened to Sian. I had been combing her, giving her flea medication, doing everything I can both inside and outside to take care of the flea infestation, but it still wasn't enough. I feel like the worse mom on the planet, right now. The feral kittens, well, they were outside and I grabbed them as soon as I saw there was a problem. Sian just didn't exhibit any issues until it was too late.
My brother went with me to the vet. Sian had flea related anemia. They gave her a subcutaneous rehydration treatment, anti biotics and flea medicine. It took a long time because her body temperature was low. When we got home I cuddled her for about an hour and then got her settled in to a warm, safe place and then I left her, for just a few minutes, hoping she'd fall asleep.
I wanted to change clothes and decided to check on her on my way to my room. She looked up, took 4 or 5 very deep breaths, and then she was gone. I thought maybe she was just having a stress reaction so I was trying to comfort her when she died.
She is buried very close to where I first saw her. I buried her in one of my favorite t-shirts and place a Passion Flower and Queen Anne's Lace flower on top of her.
Thank you all for your kindness and compassion.
I have to stop, now, because I just can't stop crying. This has hit me harder than I ever expected.

MiHale
(11,437 posts)
Bernardo de La Paz
(53,737 posts)littlemissmartypants
(27,051 posts)

Demovictory9
(35,021 posts)brer cat
(26,878 posts)we all were able to know Sian, and we grieve with you.
JoeOtterbein
(7,816 posts)...sorry.
(tears)
InstantGratification
(318 posts)You are one of only 3 DU members I "subscribe to" so that I can see your kitty posts. We are all humbled by your love and kindness for your furry family, you are such a kind soul.
We hurt with you. Know that you and your cats are loved here on DU and in the offline world. So very sorry for the loss of precious family. We are here in thought and spirit. Love to you and the fur babies.
crim son
(27,530 posts)You did everything right and couldn't have known how ill Sian was. I am very sorry for your loss.
Stargazer99
(3,178 posts)yes, they do leave paw prints on our heart....take comfort in the love you gave Sian. I understand as I feed several feral cats that won't let me near them and I know there are predators but I cannot protect them because they are feral and my heart hurts when they no longer show for dinner as I know they have become dinner.
Laurelin
(716 posts)But I know. I always feel guilty as well as heartbroken. You did everything you could, including trying to treat the fleas. That can be difficult with cats because they are sensitive to pesticides. None of it was your fault. You're probably the best cat mom in the history of cat moms.
And yes cats are prey animals and are usually very sick before we can see it. I'm speaking from bitter experience.
PikaBlue
(278 posts)She wanted to say her goodbye, to thank you for your love, and to be comforted by you. Reading your story has brought back memories of all of my fur babies who died in my arms and a few tears as well. It hurts so much when we lose them; but how dreary our lives would have been had our paths not crossed and our hearts not entwined. Sending you comforting thoughts.
hlthe2b
(108,865 posts)I am really sorry, Siwsan.
onecaliberal
(36,594 posts)





gademocrat7
(11,379 posts)Sending hugs and love to you.💕
Dr. Shepper
(3,141 posts)Sending all the healing energy I have to you.
CaptainTruth
(7,517 posts)I'm stunned, such a precious baby. You should know that you did everything you could for her, & she knew how much she was loved.
padfun
(1,862 posts)I am down to just 5 indoor and 7 outdoor cats now. We used to have 20.
Please look into Nitenpyram for flea control. Get the powder and it is a LOT cheaper. All of the topicals and sprays are poisonous to many cats. Read about it and then try it. It will save your cats lots of headaches in the future.
Sorry for your loss. It hurts every time. But there are other kittens out there who can use your love.
Polly Hennessey
(7,768 posts)"You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you,”
This is you, Siwsan. Never forget all you have done for those who cannot speak for themselves. Cry until you can’t cry anymore knowing the love you gave to those precious souls and the joy they gave you in return.
niyad
(122,953 posts)DU family grieves with you, and are here for you. Please know that you can lean as hard as you need.
Desert grandma
(1,064 posts)So very sorry to hear this. Yet, I was glad to hear that you were with her at the end. My deepest condolences to you. It is so hard to lose a fur baby.
ShazzieB
(20,033 posts)I didn't get online today until a little while ago, so I'm just finding out. I read the thread about Sian being ill and got very worried; then I immediately read this one. I'm still in shock!
Please, please, please don't be too hard on yourself, Siwsan! You did your absolute best, but life plays cruel tricks on us sometimes, and this is one of them. This is NOT your fault!
I know this is a deeply felt, heart breaking loss for you, but I hope you can take at least a little comfort in the love of your remaining fur babies and in the support you have here at DU. Take care of yourself, and please keep us posted. We are all pulling for you, really, really hard!
GPV
(73,257 posts)longer.
niyad
(122,953 posts)Roy Rolling
(7,273 posts)😢
HeartsCanHope
(922 posts)If there is anything at all I can do for you or your kidcats, please let me know. Hugs to all of you.
Archae
(47,073 posts)It's so hard to lose a cat, it's been over a year now since I woke up last April, and found Charlotte had died.
I miss her, she was so affectionate.
Her successor, Kira is just as affectionate, in fact she's tapping my arm as I type this.
I did have Charlotte for 16 years, and Raven is now 8 years old.
I'm so sorry to see Sian died.
Ocelot II
(123,919 posts)You loved her and did your best for her - that's what matters the most.
NewDayOranges
(736 posts)SMILE because it happened.
I hope you will soon be able to remember your sweet Sian without tears.
Sending hugs to you...
unweird
(3,147 posts)So sorry, just wish I could offer more support than this simple online condolence.
ALBliberal
(2,993 posts)louslobbs
(3,416 posts)I’m so sorry for your loss.
COL Mustard
(7,311 posts)You did all you could do. I’ve read your posts for a while, and you’re a very compassionate person! Please give yourself some grace and some space!
AnnaLee
(1,237 posts)And heartbroken.
scarletlib
(3,527 posts)Please accept my sympathies.
Raven123
(6,508 posts)Life isn’t fair, but Sian knew you gave your best always and now sleeps with the angels.
bromeando
(99 posts)You need time to grieve. It will get better. I know...I've been there many times. I'm sure God will bless you for caring for one of His creatures.
ET Awful
(24,781 posts)I've been there way too many times with all the rescue work GF and I do. You have my deepest condolences.
LoisB
(9,877 posts)Sian was part of the DU family.
1WorldHope
(1,108 posts)pazzyanne
(6,664 posts)





One more

MacKasey
(1,343 posts)You gave Sian a loved full life where she was safe and cared for.
Give hugs to Madoc, Gryff, Arthur and Carys
Jilly_in_VA
(11,726 posts)Our little ones are so close to our hearts and it hurts every time.
catrose
(5,261 posts)Pucks mom
(74 posts)
Pucks mom
(74 posts)
virgdem
(2,246 posts)My deepest condolences to you on this heartbreaking loss of sweet Sian. You were such a great caregiver to her and you did the best you could for Sian. Please take good care of yourself-your other kitties need you.💔🌈
Fla Dem
(26,415 posts)As much as Sian may have suffered in her final days, she was at peace in the end. Taking her last breaths as you lovingly held her. They certainly do leave their paw prints on our hearts.
Hope22
(3,800 posts)This is such sad news. Be easy with yourself. When Sian found you she was instantly surrounded by love and that is the best any of us can hope for. Love, hugs and more love to you and yours. 🙏🏼💗💗💗💗💐
kimbutgar
(24,651 posts)I so enjoying seeing your sweet posts with the darling Sian.
Take care and know we are sending you loving and warm thoughts on your loss.
piddyprints
(14,911 posts)I have been reading your posts for years. I remember Arthur as a tiny kitten. We have rescued many cats, mostly from shelters. I get your passion and love for them.
I remember a kitten you lost a few years ago and I cried and cried. I don’t know how you do it.
I’m so sorry for Sian. Her little body just couldn’t take it. Hugs to you for all your losses and all the good work you do for these innocent little beings.