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Mon Oct 9, 2017, 07:46 PM

Ok, I need to vent. It's a female veteran thing, but the door is open

A lot of us (female veterans) have had to deal with our service being marginalized and disrespected. When it comes from a ‘civilian’ it is irritating. When it comes from someone purporting to be another veteran, it is insulting and infuriating.

I was posting in a group, on another site, concerning the whole ‘take a knee’ situation. Someone had shared a post from someone claiming that doing so is a slap in the face to all veterans. My response was that, as a veteran, it didn’t bother me a bit. I know the hearts and minds of the protestors are focused on a righteous cause, and I am with them. Quite a few other veterans, mostly male, were in total agreement with me.

That’s when it happened. Someone, claiming to also be a veteran, disagreed with us. However, he ignored any remarks made by male veterans, and launched the most vitriolic, sexist, disrespectful attack against me. At first I thought maybe he was being sarcastic. So I FOOLISHLY asked, just to clarify where he was going with the remarks. He then more than doubled down with his attack, focusing solely on me. And he was attacking me for something that I didn't even write!!!

Admittedly, my stress and anxiety levels have been pretty close to redline, over the past few veiled threats, err, I mean weeks. And I know I shouldn’t engage with people whose mental or emotional stability seem questionable. But, DAMN, THAT SO TOTALLY PISSES ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!

Deep breath. I'm done. Thanks for listening.

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Arrow 30 replies Author Time Post
Reply Ok, I need to vent. It's a female veteran thing, but the door is open (Original post)
Siwsan Oct 2017 OP
Aristus Oct 2017 #1
JennyMominFL Oct 2017 #2
Siwsan Oct 2017 #4
Angry Dragon Oct 2017 #3
TreasonousBastard Oct 2017 #5
Siwsan Oct 2017 #9
TEB Oct 2017 #6
TexasProgresive Oct 2017 #21
dlk Oct 2017 #7
TexasProgresive Oct 2017 #8
Siwsan Oct 2017 #10
TexasProgresive Oct 2017 #14
Siwsan Oct 2017 #16
TexasProgresive Oct 2017 #20
Siwsan Oct 2017 #22
demosincebirth Oct 2017 #11
Siwsan Oct 2017 #13
demosincebirth Oct 2017 #15
Siwsan Oct 2017 #17
bluecollar2 Oct 2017 #12
marked50 Oct 2017 #18
Siwsan Oct 2017 #19
Skittles Oct 2017 #23
Siwsan Oct 2017 #24
Skittles Oct 2017 #26
Siwsan Oct 2017 #28
TomSlick Oct 2017 #25
SJMULE Oct 2017 #27
Siwsan Oct 2017 #29
CRK7376 Oct 2017 #30

Response to Siwsan (Original post)

Mon Oct 9, 2017, 07:51 PM

1. There are still some people out there, veterans or not, who are so cowardly

and self-loathing, that the only boost to their egos comes in attacking women.

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Response to Siwsan (Original post)

Mon Oct 9, 2017, 07:52 PM

2. I had the exact same experience

When I called one guy on it he said that obviously I had never been in combat so my opinion was not valid.

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Response to JennyMominFL (Reply #2)

Mon Oct 9, 2017, 08:02 PM

4. Most, if not all, women in the military have experienced their own form of a battle

I've dealt with some pretty sexist situations and harassment in civilian life, but combined, they all pale in comparison to what I experienced in the military. Sometimes it was just irritating. Sometimes it was downright frightening. Especially when the person you should be able to turn to for help, is participating in the same transgression, against someone else.

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Response to Siwsan (Original post)

Mon Oct 9, 2017, 07:53 PM

3. He was way off base

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Response to Siwsan (Original post)

Mon Oct 9, 2017, 08:10 PM

5. Vent all you want-- the guy was dead wrong. But...

(there always that damn "But"

He may have been a combat vet who saw a little too much combat. You have no way of knowing, but he didn't hurt you (I hope) and he's off dealing with his demons. And his wife might have recently dumped him, or screwed his best friend.

Still, he shouldn't have taken it out on you. He needs help. (Or maybe just a good asskicking-- it's tough to tell from here)

I'm a non-combat VietNam era vet-- I didn't see action, but I saw plenty of broken bodies and souls.

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Response to TreasonousBastard (Reply #5)

Mon Oct 9, 2017, 08:28 PM

9. Actually, that was part of my reason for ending the communication

I have no idea if they guy is actually a veteran, or just posing. But I have been getting continuous notifications that he is still responding to something I wrote, even though I haven't responded to him is a long while, now.

I will say that all of the other veterans, in the thread, and the 'civilians', too, have come together to my defense. That makes me smile. Hopefully this guy will move on, soon.

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Response to Siwsan (Original post)

Mon Oct 9, 2017, 08:11 PM

6. As a vet I have no problem with this

We took oath to defend the constitution not flag or national anthem. Remember their is a lot of wannabes vets around ,And they talk out their assholes.

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Response to TEB (Reply #6)

Mon Oct 9, 2017, 09:19 PM

21. I learned a long time ago

If someone claims to be a combat vet and runs their mouths about their great exploits, they are lying. I did not see combat but all those I know did- DO.NOT.SPEAK.ABOUT.IT. except maybe when with other combat veterans. They tell stories about silly or weird stuff but not the fighting and killing. It is too raw.

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Response to Siwsan (Original post)

Mon Oct 9, 2017, 08:11 PM

7. American Misogyny Has Crawled Out From Under Its Slimy Rock - It's the Trump Effect

I'm really sorry you had to deal with such poisonous garbage.

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Response to Siwsan (Original post)

Mon Oct 9, 2017, 08:16 PM

8. My family- 3 served in the Marines, one of those served in the Navy, another member served in the

Army twice, and 3 in the Air Force, myself included and one still active. That's my weak credentials for saying Screw that guy. Your service is as valuable and perhaps more valuable than mine. In fact I am sure yours was more so.

Keep breathing and don't let the bastards grind you down.

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Response to TexasProgresive (Reply #8)

Mon Oct 9, 2017, 08:32 PM

10. I come from a family who has been serving, since the Revolutionary War

Although I am the one and only female veteran. I think we have everything covered, except for the Coast Guard.

And those are most definitely NOT weak credentials. We all serve towards the same high purpose.

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Response to Siwsan (Reply #10)

Mon Oct 9, 2017, 08:52 PM

14. As veterans of the United States military you have me beat.

I think my family served from the 13th century in France and in Louisiana for the French, the Spanish and then the French again until sold to the U.S.A. Then there ancestors served in the U.S. and sadly the C.S.A. I don't know the motivation of my long ago relatives but my grandfathers, father, sons, grandsons and myself served because it was the right thing. I don't think it's because we like war but when it comes we are there.

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Response to TexasProgresive (Reply #14)

Mon Oct 9, 2017, 09:00 PM

16. The long line of military heritage comes from my paternal grandmother's side of the family.

We are currently working on a family tree, for my Grandfather's family. The came over from Wales, in the mid 1800's. It will be interesting to see how far back we can go. A cousin of my Dad's did a family tree, years ago, but it was lost, when he died. But from the stuff my Dad remembered, they went from what passed for Welsh aristocracy, to become coal miners and circus acrobats. I am not anticipating finding much in the way of military connections, but none the less, it should prove to be interesting!

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Response to Siwsan (Reply #16)

Mon Oct 9, 2017, 09:15 PM

20. MiLord, the coal mining jester.

I like that. All I know of Wales is "How Green was my Valley." I'm sure that I have a very wrong idea of the Welch.

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Response to TexasProgresive (Reply #20)

Mon Oct 9, 2017, 09:23 PM

22. They are amazing people (yes, perhaps I am a bit biased!)

The Welsh are a very proud people who are struggling to regain their national identity, and to preserve their culture and language. And it is a beautiful country.

A great Welsh themed movie I highly recommend is called 'Very Annie Mary' starring Rachel Griffiths and Jonathan Pryce. It's kind of hard to find, but well worth the effort.

Right now there is a group trying to install an "Iron Ring" at Flint Castle, to represent the ring of castles built by Edward I, to subdue the Welsh. As you can imagine, that went over, with the Welsh, like a proverbial lead balloon.

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Response to Siwsan (Original post)

Mon Oct 9, 2017, 08:41 PM

11. As a veteran, l really don't care one way or another

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Response to demosincebirth (Reply #11)

Mon Oct 9, 2017, 08:47 PM

13. Maybe if I had stated that, this guy wouldn't have attacked. Ok, who am I kidding. He probably would

This was just so bizarre. He was just making up stuff to be livid about, and blaming them all on little old me. BTW, he's apparently still yelling at me. I'm just not bothering to look.

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Response to Siwsan (Reply #13)

Mon Oct 9, 2017, 08:58 PM

15. It's tough situations we get into without knowing it, then it's too late. Fucks up our whole day.

Been there, done that.

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Response to demosincebirth (Reply #15)

Mon Oct 9, 2017, 09:03 PM

17. I just checked - it appears he has finally given up on trying to get a response from me.

Not sure if he's found a new target for his outrage. I'm thinking he might be a bit of a rage a holic.

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Response to Siwsan (Original post)

Mon Oct 9, 2017, 08:46 PM

12. Navy Veteran here

You're fine...

That asshole will meet his Waterloo one day...

Probably at the hands of a lady.

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Response to Siwsan (Original post)

Mon Oct 9, 2017, 09:05 PM

18. So sorry that you had to experience that, but

also am really glad that you have a place to vent on it, with those that feel your disgust and pain. Go DU!

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Response to marked50 (Reply #18)

Mon Oct 9, 2017, 09:15 PM

19. I ventured a look. He gave up on me and is now attacking other female veterans

He's going at the males, too, but not with the same obscene venom. I guess that kind of validates what I suspected was going on.

And, yea, DU can be a great place to vent.

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Response to Siwsan (Original post)

Mon Oct 9, 2017, 09:45 PM

23. I am a female veteran

stop getting upset and FIGHT BACK

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Response to Skittles (Reply #23)

Mon Oct 9, 2017, 10:06 PM

24. This was one of those situations where fighting was just going to feed him

I've taken trolls down, many times before, but this guy was pretty much unhinged. I hadn't written anything confrontational or the least bit objectionable to anyone but him, so I think being offended and picking fights was just on his agenda.

I tried to ask what did I write that he found so objectionable - he went off on a rant. I told him that it was obvious his issues had nothing to do with anything I wrote, so let's move on. He went off on a more vile and nonsensical rant. So I finally told him I'd been out of the Medical corps for a long time and my direct patient care skills weren't up to snuff enough to deal with someone with his issues. So 'goodnight'. That triggered the 5 or 6 responses that I never bothered to read because, what's the point. He ended up getting pretty much swarmed and called out by a large number of people.

I check out his profile page, and my suspicion is that he was just a right wing poser who was trolling a Democratic site. And, honestly, I think ignoring him was a bigger slam than anything I could have written.

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Response to Siwsan (Reply #24)

Mon Oct 9, 2017, 10:10 PM

26. well if he is unhinged just ignore him

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Response to Skittles (Reply #26)

Mon Oct 9, 2017, 10:19 PM

28. Once I realized what was going on, with him, that's exactly what I did

Sometimes it is hard to determine if someone is rhetorically responding to the original post, or responding directly to your comment so my first mistake was in asking for a clarification. Man oh man, did I get one!! I've been called some names, before, but never quite so many, at one time.

It was a really fun and positive thread, for a while. Then the crazy arrived.

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Response to Siwsan (Original post)

Mon Oct 9, 2017, 10:09 PM

25. As a retired Army guy,

I'm with you.

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Response to Siwsan (Original post)

Mon Oct 9, 2017, 10:16 PM

27. Probably not a Veteran

 

the loudest aholes complaining on my FB pages are all overweight male trumpkins who never served.

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Response to SJMULE (Reply #27)

Mon Oct 9, 2017, 10:22 PM

29. That's my suspicion

I should block him, but I'm curious to see if he's going to pop up in a future thread, and if I get targeted, again. Then I hit the block option. Although ignoring him did seem to really piss him off.

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Response to Siwsan (Original post)

Mon Oct 16, 2017, 10:54 PM

30. This retired Army Officer of

38 years in uniform stands and kneels with you. The cowards and blowhards have no clue. I have no problem with taking a knee during the playing of the National Anthem. Not that I personally would kneel, but my time in uniform and getting shot at, rocketed mortared, IEDs etc....means that I can and do speak out in support of those who do kneel. As an Army officer I took an oath to support and defend the Constitution.....then there is that little thing that they call the....1st Amendment of the US Constitution...freedom of speech, press, religion, petition and what's that last part.....oh yeah...PROTEST! Stay Strong Navy, we got your back!

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