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Sun Mar 28, 2021, 01:18 AM

I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager)

I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I donít have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I donít have a curfew. I have a driverís license and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant and I donít have acne. Life is great.
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
I didnít make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
I decided to stop calling the bathroom the ďJohnĒ and renamed it the ďJimĒ. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
Old age is coming at a really bad time.
When I was a child I thought ďNap TimeĒ was a punishment. Now it feels like a small vacation.
The biggest lie I tell myself is ĒI don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
I donít have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights"! Iím just very wise.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, He wouldíve put them on my knees.
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We havenít met yet.
Why do I have to press one for English when youíre just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
At my age ďGetting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I canít remember their names.
Now, Iím wondering: did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?

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Arrow 12 replies Author Time Post
Reply I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager) (Original post)
CaliforniaPeggy Mar 28 OP
alwaysinasnit Mar 28 #1
Captain Zero Mar 28 #2
PoindexterOglethorpe Mar 28 #3
-misanthroptimist Mar 28 #10
PoindexterOglethorpe Mar 28 #11
judesedit Mar 28 #4
GReedDiamond Mar 28 #5
DFW Mar 28 #6
CaliforniaPeggy Mar 28 #7
multigraincracker Mar 28 #8
appalachiablue Mar 28 #9
bucolic_frolic Apr 17 #12

Response to CaliforniaPeggy (Original post)

Sun Mar 28, 2021, 01:51 AM

1. You truly are a treasure CaliforniaPeggy. It's been a while since I've had such a good

laugh.

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Response to CaliforniaPeggy (Original post)

Sun Mar 28, 2021, 01:55 AM

2. If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.

my best chuckle.

If you laughed at this then give it a REC.

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Response to Captain Zero (Reply #2)

Sun Mar 28, 2021, 02:46 AM

3. Oddly enough, I can not only touch my toes, but I can put my hands flat on the floor.

I'm 72. I guess I'll be a pariah now.

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Response to PoindexterOglethorpe (Reply #3)

Sun Mar 28, 2021, 09:11 AM

10. A pariah? Heavens, no!

You're the person we'll ask to pick up our keys when we drop them. TIA

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Response to -misanthroptimist (Reply #10)

Sun Mar 28, 2021, 10:28 AM

11. Happy to help out when you drop your keys.

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Response to CaliforniaPeggy (Original post)

Sun Mar 28, 2021, 03:22 AM

4. So true. I love it. Thank you for the laugh.

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Response to CaliforniaPeggy (Original post)

Sun Mar 28, 2021, 03:43 AM

5. Pizza

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Response to CaliforniaPeggy (Original post)

Sun Mar 28, 2021, 03:51 AM

6. I can relate

I'm so old, I have fossils of animals that used to be my house pets.

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Response to DFW (Reply #6)

Sun Mar 28, 2021, 03:56 AM

7. I remember fossils!

Ah, so they used to be house pets? Ha!



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Response to CaliforniaPeggy (Original post)

Sun Mar 28, 2021, 07:27 AM

8. For the first time ever, I don't have any enemies.

I have out lived all of them..

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Response to CaliforniaPeggy (Original post)

Sun Mar 28, 2021, 08:49 AM

9. Luv it, thank you Peggy! Sweet

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Response to CaliforniaPeggy (Original post)

Sat Apr 17, 2021, 08:47 AM

12. I would laugh at it if it weren't so true

I often wonder how do I get out of this mess? But the issues are so complex it's like fumbling Rubick's Cube at high speed with no obvious place to begin.

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