How to Survive Black Thanksgiving as a Non-Black Guest
How to Survive Black Thanksgiving: A Users Manual for Non-Black Guests/In-Laws and Black Folks that Don’t Have No Home Training, I.E. Culture
(HUMOR AND SATIRE TRIGGER WARNING)
1. DO NOT arrive empty handed to Black Thanksgiving. Store bought isn’t great, but if you aren’t sure how Black holiday food works, it’s better than getting the church lady look when you bring candied parsnips over. See rule 2.)
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2. The answer is ALWAYS sweet potatoes. Neauxp, no pumpkin, parsnips, rutabagas, butternut squash, nah-unh…sweet potatoes aka “yams.” (Not really yams)
3. As with our close cousin “Southern White Thanksgiving,” we don’t call cornbread “stuffing,” stuffing….we call it “dressing.” Calling it “stuffing,” is a dead giveaway you don’t know the quality of what you brought over. Throw that boxed stuff away.
4. Bruce Almighty (wink wink) didn’t create “yams,” De Lawd did, so buy the ones that don’t come in a can when you follow rule 2.
5. Macaroni and cheese with breadcrumbs and bechamel sauce? Really? And it’s not even “urunge?” Neauxp…. not Black Thanksgiving approved.
6. Potato salad year round is a thing. Don’t ask who made it, just know their hands are clean. Potato salad is yellow, has paprika and eggs so don’t be confused.
7. Expect an elder to ask a young child to dance, perform, recite a poem or read from the Bible against their will for the entertainment of other elders.
8. Grace will last a while when Daddy/Grandaddy so and so or Big Mama, Nana, Grammy or M’Dear says it, so make sure you don’t starve yourself prior to arrival.
9. Black people hate it when you’re not a cheerful eater, so load up your plate. Strategy: if you’re used to white food just try to load up on stuff you’ll actually eat and tuck in the obligatory candied yams and collard greens where necessary. Save room for dessert. Candied yams or sweet potato casserole with marshmallows is NOT dessert.
10. Like any ethnic household expect people to talk about food while eating food.
You will likely be eating roast turkey, barbecued turkey, deep fried turkey, glazed country ham, collard greens, macaroni and cheese, green beans, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes mashed and covered with marshmallows, corn, cornbread, yeast/potato rolls, black eyed peas, rice, gravy, potato salad, cranberry sauce from the can, sweet potato pie, cornbread dressing, “fried apples” (think Boston Market apples), chitterlings, apple crisp, chess pie, fill-in-the-blank cobbler, ice cream, caramel cake, deviled eggs, “green salad,” and something almost Afrocentric..
11. DO NOT be that “other” that goes “Well it’s not just Black people that eat/do….” What the hell is that supposed to really mean??? a. You don’t think we have a unique culture unless we do “magical, innate, instinctual things y’all “can’t” do? b. You don’t seem to grasp that each culture puts it’s own spin on common themes. c. You’re showing that you believe in the “Black Box” (newsflash..we can be just as universal and influential as anyone else) d. You are desperate to have the newest college student in the family demonstrate their newfound skills in oppression deflection learned in Introduction to African American Studies. In any case, saying nonsense will get you “the look that Mr. Johnson gave Ray.” (Ask your host for the story once the Moscato gets flowing.)
12. Speaking of college…expect the student to have a newfound prejudice against pork, meat in general or cooked food, all of which will cause palpitations for the cook and rolled eyes. We are used to this, but know the “special plate,” is for the newfound #Hotep/poor righteous teacher, Natural sister/brother, or boho in the room…not for you. It may seem achingly familiar and inviting, but unless you want a “the look that Mr. Johnson gave Ray” (ask the host once the Moscato gets flowing) along with lectures on how the white man takes everything, leave the special plate alone.
http://afroculinaria.com/2015/11/22/how-to-survive-black-thanksgiving-as-a-non-black-guest/
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My fam was small but we had our thing but hubby's huge family T'day OMGAWD - a hoot and share many of the descriptions above.
Good times, fantastic memories. 
Cooked my collards, spooned them out (minus the green juice), put them in a foil tray and covered w/sheet foil then into the fridge. Done!
Now for the good part!
Got a cup and dumped the likka into it and now have a refreshing beverage now....and some for tomorrow with the cornbread 
Can't tell me nothin!!! 
My mom would throw her part French ovaries around with the Lapin Au Vin and then tip of the hat to my dad's mom with the handed down roasted venison recipe! 
That's what I'm talking about!! 
Unlike Italian families crying "abbondanza!" WASP kids are more likely to hear "leave some for the others", even when there's enough for an army. Something about a love of sacrifice. 
A dinner where I'm encouraged to fill up my plate ? Great ! Better than the local Chinese all-you-can-eat buffet !
But I strongly disagree with any suggestion of holding back on collard greens or candied yams. 
Is anything similar celebrated where you are now?
At least I know that you've got 2 beautiful homes, beautiful girls that we can celebrate with utmost gratitude. Bless you, Number23. "You've got a world full of love"
No matter where I've lived, away from or close to family, that song just grounds me and voila, I'm home 
Choked on his espresso reading this piece ths morning! 
Great find an accurate.
He says I should do one for how to survive Your First Italian Sunday Lunch and start with -
It last ten hours!
You should have seen it bubbling!!! I've threatened everybody in the house. That pie has got to live to see tomorrow! I usually cook two...but thought, naw...it'll live. But, you can't turn your back on these people for a minute. I think I saw someone take some ice cream out of the freezer...don't even think about it. There are two potato pies...they're already bargaining for one. I don't think one of those are gonna make it to the table.
Hold the sweet potato and pumpkin pie though. Me and orange pies do not get along.
I think I saw someone take some ice cream out of the freezer...don't even think about it.
Hee hee, you know they are just WAITING for you to look away for a hot milisecond, don't you?? 
Girl that cobbler and that ice cream will be GONE and you'll just see some folks rubbing their bellies and looking happy as hell.
Man, I am sitting here just imagining a hob, bubbling peach cobbler. The smell of peaches and cinnamon filling up the whole house. Y'all are KILLING me.
We all like this... 
and onpatrol's family that ate that sucker are all like this
So true. I picture some folks as 'that really angry dude who doesn't stop lecturing everyone.'
Yes indeed, this place is 'a nice tiny oasis...sitting in the midst of some of the craziest writing...'
HT to you too!
Got me in the holiday mood. 
Have a fun and restful holiday friends!
Gluten is that stuff that could make a child with Celiac vomit all over your nice Thanksgiving table.
Or the adult with gluten sensitivity bleed intestinally the next day.
Unfortunately, it's often a hidden ingredient.
So I follow rule #26, the vegan rule.
LOVE this, makes me wish I was going to Black Thanksgiving today. And secondly, .
Thanks Blue, I needed this today.
admit, can be boring. But I don't want "candied parsnips" EVER! Hope you & yours had a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Happy Thanksgiving, get the red out.
Just finished our Thanksgiving, my husband, me and our 2 sons. Nuthin' fancy but yummy. Youngest son ate a Paul Newmans frozen pizza. Sigh. No idea where I went wrong with that one!
Missing all of those who sat at the grown up table.
grandparents and father. The holidays are so bittersweet, aren't they?? They can be so joy filled one minute and the next you are reminiscing over people long or recently gone or things/places you may not see again. *sigh*
But the idea of eating a Paul Newman frozen pizza on Thanksgiving is easily the saddest thing I've heard all day. Good grief! 
He would have been banned from even sitting at the Tgiving table in my grandad's house which was our meeting spot.
If anybody should know better about making ASSumptions, it's me!
I'm just an old Minnesota lady, born and bred, and of Norwegian descent, to boot. Never been to a Black Thanksgiving, but have also never had a Thanksgiving without candied sweet potatoes - absolutely obligatory.
And, in a perhaps ironic twist considering the OP, this year we were graced by the presence of my youngest niece's black partner - and I mean "graced" in every sense of the word. This lovely man took on the cooking of the turkey and the making of the gravy - and OMG! it was so delicious and perfectly done that we were all practically swooning at the table!
I do believe he survived our "Northern White Thanksgiving" quite handily - I just hope he's prepared to be recruited to cook the turkey from here on out!
And the dear young man earned extra points with me when he saw me paring parsnips while the turkey was cooking - his eyes genuinely lit up: "Wow! You're doing parsnips! I love parsnips!"
Yup, just like candied sweet potatoes, parsnips are obligatory at our White Thanksgiving. (but NOT "candied" - *shudder* - I've never heard of such a thing!)
Anyway, the only looks exchanged around our table were great big smiles.
I hope all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving Day!
Seriously, everybody in this house does and are sleeping back as I finish up some bits of work-work. All quiet and peaceful on the Western Front.
We kept it simple and impromptu, cooking, cleaning, munching and drinking all day long. Then went to see my dad. Luckily, he'd been asleep all day, the nurses updated us earlier, and he wanted to rest some more when we got there. I can't believe I miss the long, long, long prayer from him before feasting this year.
Looking at my dad now, I remembered our first year here, he was so excited for Thanksgiving holiday, more than even before Christmas, that he wanted his family so badly in the States to experience. He and his group of friends, who journeyed together as young men, used to meet at each others apartments and do their own African thing, with turkey, of course, and lots of drinking
