Create new account | My Profile | My Account | My Bookmarks | My Inbox | Help | Log in

Home Latest Threads Greatest Threads Forums & Groups My Subscriptions My Posts

DU Home » Latest Threads » Forums & Groups » Topics » Offbeat » Humor (Group) » Stop me if you've heard t...

Mon Dec 17, 2018, 12:05 AM

lambchopp59 (2,633 posts)

Stop me if you've heard this one

Donald Trump, Oprah Winfrey, Barack Obama and a young school girl are on a flight when disaster strikes the plane and all occupants must parachute to safety, but there are only three parachutes. Oprah Winfrey says "I'm the richest woman in the world", grabs a pack and bails. "I had the greatest electoral college victory ever" spits Trump, grabs another pack and follows Oprah. Barack Obama turns to the school child and says "You are the future, our country's best hope" and begins to outfit the child with a pack, when the girl states "actually there's a future for you, too. Mr Trump jumped with my book bag".

16 replies, 4350 views

Thread info Bookmark this thread Trash this thread

Reply to this thread

Back to top Alert abuse

Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum

Replies to this discussion thread

16 replies	Author	Time	Post
Stop me if you've heard this one (Original post)	lambchopp59	Dec 2018	OP
thanks for the laugh! nt	spooky3	Dec 2018	#1
Funny	Doreen	Dec 2018	#2
Very clever.	efhmc	Dec 2018	#3
Good one!	StarryNite	Dec 2018	#4
Made day/night!	rickyhall	Dec 2018	#5
Good one. (But Oprah wouldn't do that.) nt	Honeycombe8	Dec 2018	#6
"Tis a consummation...	3catwoman3	Dec 2018	#7
Wonderful!	PatrickforO	Dec 2018	#8
I don't get it. Why would Oprah let a school age girl die? She's not bad.	rusty quoin	Dec 2018	#9
+1	grantcart	Dec 2018	#11
I agree.	Jim Lane	Dec 2018	#14
Oprah only utilized as a card in the Trump's greed deck, a ruse	lambchopp59	Dec 2018	#15
Heh heh heh	hermetic	Dec 2018	#10
Good one! Too bad it's not based on actual events. n/t	Different Drummer	Dec 2018	#12
I heard it years ago with Henry Kissinger in the starring role.	Jim Lane	Dec 2018	#13
No offense meant towards Oprah	lambchopp59	Dec 2018	#16

Response to lambchopp59 (Original post)

Mon Dec 17, 2018, 12:07 AM

spooky3 (32,053 posts)

1. thanks for the laugh! nt

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Response to lambchopp59 (Original post)

Mon Dec 17, 2018, 12:18 AM

Doreen (11,686 posts)

2. Funny

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Response to lambchopp59 (Original post)

Mon Dec 17, 2018, 12:49 AM

efhmc (14,305 posts)

3. Very clever.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Response to lambchopp59 (Original post)

Mon Dec 17, 2018, 12:58 AM

StarryNite (8,761 posts)

4. Good one!

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Response to lambchopp59 (Original post)

Mon Dec 17, 2018, 01:11 AM

rickyhall (4,889 posts)

5. Made day/night!

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Response to lambchopp59 (Original post)

Mon Dec 17, 2018, 01:48 AM

Honeycombe8 (37,648 posts)

6. Good one. (But Oprah wouldn't do that.) nt

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Response to lambchopp59 (Original post)

Mon Dec 17, 2018, 01:52 AM

3catwoman3 (22,189 posts)

7. "Tis a consummation...

...devoutly to be wished.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Response to lambchopp59 (Original post)

Mon Dec 17, 2018, 02:19 AM

PatrickforO (14,002 posts)

8. Wonderful!

That made my night.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Response to lambchopp59 (Original post)

Mon Dec 17, 2018, 03:11 AM

rusty quoin (6,133 posts)

9. I don't get it. Why would Oprah let a school age girl die? She's not bad.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Response to rusty quoin (Reply #9)

Mon Dec 17, 2018, 01:19 PM

grantcart (52,866 posts)

11. +1

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Response to rusty quoin (Reply #9)

Mon Dec 17, 2018, 03:09 PM

Jim Lane (11,175 posts)

14. I agree.

When I heard the joke (see #13), the pilot came back into the passenger cabin. He said that his survival was important so that he could help in the investigation of the mishap, so he took the first parachute. The version with Oprah maligns her and doesn't account for the presence of the pilot.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Response to rusty quoin (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 18, 2018, 11:13 AM

lambchopp59 (2,633 posts)

15. Oprah only utilized as a card in the Trump's greed deck, a ruse

at the heat of the moment for the Donald to hastily join, on top of Trump's non-recognition of the "book bag". No offense meant towards Oprah, wonderful person I'd love to meet and have coffee with, wouldn't just about anyone? I re-iterated the joke with characters the military.com site had. Joke would work just as well with say, Bill Gates.
I think Oprah would be big enough to have a good belly laugh even at a bit of her expense.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Response to lambchopp59 (Original post)

Mon Dec 17, 2018, 11:41 AM

hermetic (7,716 posts)

10. Heh heh heh

I liked that.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Response to lambchopp59 (Original post)

Mon Dec 17, 2018, 01:21 PM

Different Drummer (6,551 posts)

12. Good one! Too bad it's not based on actual events. n/t

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Response to lambchopp59 (Original post)

Mon Dec 17, 2018, 03:00 PM

Jim Lane (11,175 posts)

13. I heard it years ago with Henry Kissinger in the starring role.

He says, "My survival is essential to guiding U.S. foreign policy and achieving peace in the Middle East. Besides that, I am, of course, the smartest man in the world." Out he goes. The Pope (not Obama) then says to the hippie (not a school girl) that the younger person should take the last parachute, to which the hippie replies, "Hey, Padre, that's real cool of you, but, like, not to worry, y'know? The smartest man in the world just jumped out of the airplane with my backpack on."

It would be interesting to set up a self-esteem contest between Kissinger and Trump.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Response to lambchopp59 (Original post)

Tue Dec 18, 2018, 11:23 AM

lambchopp59 (2,633 posts)

16. No offense meant towards Oprah

Oprah only utilized as a card in the Trump's greed deck, a ruse at the heat of the moment for the Donald to hastily join, on top of Trump's non-recognition of the "book bag". No offense meant towards Oprah, wonderful person I'd love to meet and have coffee with, wouldn't just about anyone? I re-iterated the joke with characters the military.com site had. Joke would work just as well with say, Bill Gates.
I think Oprah would be big enough to have a good belly laugh even at a bit of her expense, so would Bill.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink