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Mon Mar 4, 2019, 01:02 AM

Lawyers should NEVER ask a question they don't know the answer to!

Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realise you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?'

She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'
The defence attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.

8 replies, 3631 views

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Reply Lawyers should NEVER ask a question they don't know the answer to! (Original post)
Stonepounder Mar 2019 OP
alwaysinasnit Mar 2019 #1
Beakybird Mar 2019 #2
srose58089 Mar 2019 #3
Duppers Mar 2019 #4
TlalocW Mar 2019 #5
GeoWilliam750 Mar 2019 #6
Post removed Aug 26 #7
Post removed Sep 28 #8

Response to Stonepounder (Original post)

Mon Mar 4, 2019, 01:03 AM

1. Excellent!

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Response to Stonepounder (Original post)

Mon Mar 4, 2019, 01:04 AM

2. LOL!!!

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Response to Stonepounder (Original post)

Mon Mar 4, 2019, 02:48 AM

3. So True and Funny

I will probably still be laughing tomorrow

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Response to Stonepounder (Original post)

Mon Mar 4, 2019, 03:08 AM

4. A real LOL!

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Response to Stonepounder (Original post)

Mon Mar 4, 2019, 03:30 AM

5. Reminds me of this one

Back in the days of Vaudville, a ventriloquist traveling on the road from one job to the next stopped at a farmhouse to see if they could put him up for the night. There was no room in the house, so he had to sleep in the barn. The next morning, the ventriloquist got up to find the farmer already in the barn preparing for the day and decided to have some fun.
"Hey," said the ventriloquist. "Did you know you have a talking cow?"
"Oh, sure, I do, sonny. Quit pulling my leg," replied the farmer.
"I'll prove it to you," said the ventriloquist. "Hey, cow! How does the farmer treat you?"
Throwing his voice, the ventriloquist made the cow reply. "He treats me real good. Always feeds me good hay and milks me every morning!"
"Oh, my!" exclaimed the farmer. "I have a talking cow! I'm going to be rich!"
"Not only that," said the ventriloquist. "You've got a talking horse!"
"No! I couldn't be that lucky!" said the farmer.
"Hey, horse!" yelled the ventriloquist. "How's the farmer treat you?"
Once again, the ventriloquist threw his voice, and the horse replied, "Real good! Gives me good feed and apples as treats."
"Hot damn!" exclaimed the farmer. "Got me a talking cow and a talking horse! I'm going to be rich!"
"Well, wait until you hear even more good news," said the ventriloquist. "You've also got a talking sheep!"
"THE SHEEP IS A GODDAMN LIAR," yelled the farmer.

TlalocW

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Response to Stonepounder (Original post)

Mon Mar 4, 2019, 03:38 AM

6. Oldie, but goodie

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