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trotsky

(49,533 posts)
Thu May 18, 2017, 09:58 AM May 2017

Mother won't let fact of daughter's religion choice drop

http://www.arkansasonline.com/news/2017/may/18/mother-won-t-let-fact-of-daughter-s-rel/?f=entertainment-events

DEAR CAROLYN: My husband and I were both raised in the same religion, which for various reasons we have not chosen to continue as adults. In my household growing up, we were not exceptionally observant, but my mother has grown more devout over the years. She continually asks whether I've done this or that observance, none of which I've participated in for 20 years.

...

This (avoiding the subject, steering the conversation away) seemed to work until we became parents. My mother now asks more pointed questions than ever. I know it greatly pains my mother that I do not follow our family's religion. I, too, would be upset if my children rejected something that I hold dear, but I hope I would be able to see that they are still good people. I don't know how to answer her other than saying it's not something I believe, and I don't want to turn what is a mostly good relationship into something horrible again.

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DEAR READER: Sad facts first: If your mother wants to destroy your relationship over this, then she can, and you won't be able to stop her. Being close takes two people but estrangement takes only one.

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In fact, loving disengagement is even more critical now to your chances of getting along. Instead of, "It's not something I believe," or some other re-answering of the same re-question, please keep guiding the conversation away from the fire.
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Mother won't let fact of daughter's religion choice drop (Original Post) trotsky May 2017 OP
Far too often the mother of this situation won't be blamed Lordquinton May 2017 #1

Lordquinton

(7,886 posts)
1. Far too often the mother of this situation won't be blamed
Thu May 18, 2017, 03:16 PM
May 2017

Ad if she's particularly vile she can cause all kinds of problems with child services, believing that raising a child without shoving god down their throats is abusive.

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