His Wife Spanked Him with a Paddle Because Jesus Died for Their Sins

[NeoGreen]

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2018/01/04/his-wife-spanked-him-with-a-paddle-because-jesus-died-for-their-sins/

His Wife Spanked Him with a Paddle Because Jesus Died for Their Sins
January 4, 2018 by Hemant Mehta

The lecture in question is an overview of the Creationist myth, given by Dr. Terry Mortenson of Answers in Genesis. For the most part, it’s a lot of stuff you’ve heard before (albeit never in a science class since none of it is science).

But then, around the 55:00 mark, Mortenson tells the audience how he explained Jesus dying for our sins to his son. It’s the most cringe-worthy thing you’ll ever hear…

… When my son, Nathan, was about three years old, one day I decided to try to teach him this. He had done something wrong, and we had a wooden spoon, one of those stirring spoons, you know? That’s what we used to spank. That was the board of education.

So Nathan had done something wrong, and we took him into the bedroom, my wife and I, and I said, “Nathan, you did something wrong. You deserve a spanking today. But I’m going to do something different, because I want to teach you something else. I’m going to bend over, and I want Mommy to spank me. Because I want to take your place.”

So I bent over and she gave me a wallop. And that hurt. [Laughs] And he just sat there, and his eyes were wide open, and I said, “That’s what Jesus did for you. He died in your place.”

Fundamentalists have the weirdest kinks…

The whole premise is flawed, though. While Mortenson says he took the spankings on behalf of whatever Nathan did wrong — and let’s assume he did something really bad — Jesus’ sacrifice is for what? People being in a same-sex relationship? Women taking control over their own bodies? Someone taking the Lord’s name in vain? Those aren’t problems. They’re only “sins” because God said they were.

In other words, God killed His son to spare us from His wrath. Maybe we’re not the problems here and God’s the one who deserves the spankings.

[left-of-center2012]

1. "And after mommy spanks me ...

I rise from the dead and ..."

[Mariana]

2. The main problem with this idea is that Jesus didn't take anyone's place.

When sinners die, they stay dead. Alternatively, they get tortured for eternity, or some other unpleasant thing happens to them, depending on which flavor of Christianity you're talking about. What sinners never do is die, rise a few days later, hang out with their friends for a few weeks, and then bodily ascend to heaven. So how can it said that Jesus took our place?

[trotsky]

4. Yeah, not much of a sacrifice.

Even his crucifixion was nothing compared to real ones. Real crucifixions took days. His only took a few hours, allegedly.

[safeinOhio]

3. Republicans sin

Just to make sure Jesus didn’t die for nothing.

[Lordquinton]

5. wut?

Do what you want, just leave the kids out of it.